If You Were a Famous Multi-Millionaire Would You Get Married? Be Faithful?

In My Humble Opinion
1

In the wake of this whole Tiger Woods fiasco and media scrutiny I’ve been considering how I’d react in a similar situation. I’m very close in age to Tiger and have followed his entire rise and career. Naturally I’ve wondered what it would be like to be in his shoes, what my life would have been like had I had that kind of talent or had gotten that kind of wealth and fame as a single 20-something. Even now as an unmarried 33 year old bachelor I wonder what my life would play out like if I won the lottery or somehow came into outrageous amounts of money.

I can’t imagine what life would be like, being a attractive, recognizable multi-millionaire as it applies to the opposite sex. Like most men I’ve had my share of playboy fantasies, imagined having the most beautiful women at my beck an call and having any fantasy fulfilled. Being able to jet around the world, spending weekends in Vegas or waking up in some secluded Pacific island resort. Having the freedom to live out any sexual fantasy and to simply not have to answer to anyone else. I assume most people have some version of this fantasy. Maybe it’s not all about women and sex, night clubs and strip joints. Maybe it’s just about the freedom to live on your terms, occasionally selfishly and independently.

Then again, most of us, myself included, don’t want to forgo the entire idea of marriage. We don’t want to be lifetime bachelors. One day we’ll tire of the dating scene and we love the idea of having one person who’ll be there for you forever and your close confidante and partner. We want children and someone to pass along our fortune and legacy to, we want family to share the finer things in life with and those exclusive adventures.

So it seems that it’s a conundrum. You’re forced to choose between being a married family man with the means and wealth to do anything you want, but a commitment to another person to forgo all those sexual thrills and fantasies that come naturally. Or you can choose to be a life long bachelor and have all the women and fun you want. You can live life on your terms without any question or any guilt, but you sacrifice the security and intimacy of a marriage and family.

What do you do? Are you able to walk away from all the choices and freedom you get to experience as a 22 year old millionaire? Do you instead become a serial monogamist enjoying women but without the long term commitment and risk of infidelity? Do you become a playboy and sample every experience and find joy in the extravagant lifestyle?

Suppose you were a married multi-millionaire, traveling 6 months out of the year and constantly obligated to participate in media events and galas filled with beautiful people. Constantly meeting with the types of people who excel at working a room and exploiting connections and favors. Having groupies and fans constantly offering you all manner of sex and attention. Spending every day of your life saying “no” to sex and attention that violates your vows. Could you do it?

It sounds like a special type of torture to me, most men I know would be miserable being tempted every single day. Women who match those fantasies and lusts you had as a young adult, before your fame and fortune, finally wanting you and offering to fulfill those desires. How long could you resist? How many fights and tiffs with your wife would it take before you said “screw it”? Honestly.

I really don’t know what I would do. How well I’d manage.

2

Seems like it’s more realistic to choose the route George Clooney takes.

The other celebrities eventually succumb to cheating on their wives, or divorce after one year, or jump into serial marriages.

Or you can have children out-of-wedlock like Kurt Russel & Goldie Hawn. It doesn’t seem like to the end of the world to live that way.

I read an article that says the Europeans are more accepting of a husband having 2 women: a wife and mother of his children, and a mistress on the side. It’s certainly not encouraged but if it happens, it’s not the scandal over there as it is in America.

3

Seems to me one’s personal integrity has quite a bit to do with it. Newman had it. Apparently many others don’t, including Tiger Woods.

4

I’m just wondering why he’d have an affair when he has such a smokin’ hot wife?

Gee, some guys aren’t satisfied with what they have.

Hey, Tiger, I’ll take your wife if you don’t want her!

Oh, wait, I’m married. :smack: OK, so this brings us back to our OP

I’m thinking Gene Simmons has the perfect setup, long term relationship with Shannon Tweed (20 some years if I recall), not married, but a couple of kids. And anyone with a brain knows he’s still fooling around on the road, including his wife, but she must be cool with it. He he still seems to love her like anything (but, since she doesn’t go on the road with him, probably explains the “groupies”. A man has needs … )

5

Because fooling around can produce bastards that go on to become notable people.

6

I don’t know where the following line originated but it’s repeated often on the interwebs:

“No matter how good she looks… someone… somewhere… is tired of her shit!”

I believe that to be true.

7

I’m guessing Tiger’s not getting any hamburger. It’s like choosing between Filet Mignon at home, Porterhouse, Lobster, Chilean Sea Bass, Ahi Tuna, King Crab and New York Strip in Hawaii. I loves me some Filet, I really do, but I like a grilled Swordfish on occasion too.

8

Money and power have fuck all to do with fidelity. Otherwise trailer parks and tenements would house paragons of marital bliss.

Everyone has fantasies, I suppose, but if you lack the maturity to place your honor and the feelings of others above them, then it doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, you’re going to be a cheating, selfish prick.

If I were a famous multi-millionaire I’d not only be (stay) married and faithful, I’d be having the time of my life seeing and sharing this world with someone who makes my life worth living. I’d probably deck any whore who tried to get between me and my best friend.

9

Money might not have anything to do with fidelity, but it has everything to do with opportunity and temptation. Us regular folk like to get all high and mighty and act like we’d never consider such a thing, but I think it’s largely bullshit. If your physical ideal were actively courting you at every turn you might start thinking twice.

Being tempted every single day would be a miserable experience.

10

Because even a smokin’ hot wife can be a total bitch :slight_smile:

11

No way in hell could I live a lifestyle of monogamy under those circumstances. I have a hard enough time doing so already.

About Tiger Woods and his hot wife - even the hottest woman can eventually get boring, for most people. Some people, it seems, have the capacity to find their partner as unbelievably attractive as he/she was when they first met, for year after year after year, but this is very rare, I think.

What if you had the best chef in the world, but every day he made the same exact meal for you? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, the same meal. Surely after a while you would want something else, even if it was just a cheap hamburger.

12

If I suddenly won the lottery, I can’t imagine changing the way I live. I might have some nicer things, but I wouldn’t go out and fuck my way through Vegas, no. I can’t imagine why I’d want to.
ETA - you should have made this a poll by gender.

13

I’m not trying to be obtuse here, but I disagree. I think money and accompanying fame has everything to do with being watched by tabloids (that don’t report thwarted overtures because marital fidelity doesn’t sell papers). People are people and will court/cheat in whatever circle they run, driven by whatever drives them. I may not be reading you right, but you seem to be under the impression that rich folks are under more pressure to betray those who love and trust them than are regular folks.

Your assertion seems to be, “If Tiger was a middle-income grocery clerk, he wouldn’t have cheated on his woman.” To which I say: Nuts. He wouldn’t be tagging gold-diggers, but for every gold-digger there’s at least one regular woman who wants a little somthin’somthin’ without the headache of a relationship. Resisting overtures has everything to do with integrity.

14

Statistically speaking this is far from true. Male marital infidelity is highly correlated with income.

This is a link to one published study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11770478 I wish I could find the more definitive numbers I’ve seen before. But the relationship isn’t in serious doubt.

Now, for various reasons the poor are less likely to be married at all, which makes the comparison kind of odd. Also, the correlation could go either way - money makes them more likely to cheat, or the type of guy who wants to get married and cheat is likely to make a lot of money. But you are unlikely to find income and infidelity to be unrelated in a random sample of married men.

15

This has nothing to do with it as far as I’m concerned. You don’t have to find you wife boring or unattractive to find another woman irresistible. I’m betting every red-blooded male, and lots of females for that matter, would have no trouble getting plenty fired up when Elin gave you the come hither look. But that doesn’t mean that the Kate Beckinsale look-alike you meet at a fund-raiser who’s giving you fuck-me eyes isn’t going to be every bit as tantalizing.

Compulsive cheaters will cheat in whatever circle they run in. But I think it’s utterly foolish to think that people are simply black-and-white, cheaters and non-cheaters. I’ve never cheated on an SO, and I’ve never sought it out, but there are women I see on TV and there are a few that I know IRL who’d be very difficult to turn down if they were forward enough. I would turn them down 95% of the time, but it’s not like I get offers every day. If I were the type of guy who could be seen as a prize, that probably would change. People can wear down, people can get fed up being “good” all the time. 99.999% of us are never tested the way someone like Tiger would be.

I don’t know Tiger. If he’s just the cheating type then maybe he would cheat as a grocery clerk. But his cheating now doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a compulsive cheater. Tiger may have resisted 999 of 1000 overtures. I count that as being way different than someone who never resisted a single one, and I’m betting our middle-income grocery clerk doesn’t get more than 1 or 2.

16

“Smokin’ hot wife” does not = “Sex with smokin’’ hot wife whenever I want”

Those hot ones can turn cold as ice if they want to. You marry a hottie like Halle Berry thinking you’re going to have great sex whenever you want. You end up with her crying “boo-hoo my husband’s a sex addict!”

17

Five years ago if you would have asked me this question I would have said “Hell No” but I think I’m finally getting to the point where I can say “Yes, absolutely”

Two things come into play here tho’:

1.) I’n my 20’s I was a fairly handsome man with more money than I knew what to do with. This made my access with “Hawt” women seem all but too easy. I wont claim that I’ve been with hundreds of women because I haven’t. But I did go through a phase for a few years where I dated strippers almost exclusively. I did the threesome thing; the whole nine yards. So I’ve had my “feel” so to speak.

2.) I haven’t had a long term serious GF in ages and I’m lonely dammit! :frowning:

18

Yes, just a ‘Gentlemen, would you…’ would have been nice, or a note at the end asking lady Dopers to weigh in if they’d like. Really anything but assuming everyone’s a guy 'til proven otherwise. Because of course the results are probably going to be quite skewed. Male rock stars and actors have compared their situations to being smoking hot women (though oddly they tend to get less flack for taking advantage of their situation i.e. sleeping around). Obviously not all women can have sex whenever and with whomever they’d like, but gentlemen, if the only thing keeping you from cheating on your wife or never getting into a long-term relationship is your inability to attract Yes Women with dollar signs in their eyes, do everyone a favor and stay out of the family way.

19

I was asking a rhetorical question intended to inspire a discussion. I want something a little more informative than a lazy poll.

No one is passing judgment on the women, and I don’t suspect most are Golddiggers, that’s your bias.

Maybe people find fame and celebrity sexy. Professional athletes, actors and musicians tend to be very fit and attractive. They have many qualities that typical people would be attracted to and would desire. Those typical people might act on it.

And the OP was written from a male point of view because I’m a male and the inspiration was a male. In no way am I excluding females. Nothing about it is specific, if you want to construe the question to be “if you were a rich and famous actress or model would you want to be married? would you cheat?” feel free.

20

I’d definitely be faithful. My love for my wife doesn’t ebb and flow with the changes in my tax bracket.

But if I was single? I can pretty much guarantee you I’d go through about six weeks of non-stop Sodom and Gomorrah, getting it all out of the system, so to speak.