Realize it isn’t exactly an activity that lends itself to DIY and I know it will probably vary from state to state, but…
Is there any reason why my family members cannot build a funeral pyre and torch my remains after I have joined the choir invisible?
Same reason we can’t burn trash, like we used to when I was a kid: air pollution.
We can burn trash where I live, come on by.
I’m not sure if every state specifically outlaws it, but you’re probably very likely to run afoul of some sort of rules concerning disposal of human remains because it’s really difficult to effectively cremate someone on a pyre. In most of the cultures that do funeral pyres, they’re to a certain extent symbolic and you still usually end up with identifiable remains to deal with, especially if the family can’t afford the enormous amount of wood required for a proper pyre. See for example all the problems with human remains in areas where the “ashes” being released into the Ganges are often only charred-on-the-outside bodies.
The Gram Parsons story might be of interest to you (recounted here by the master). They only ended up getting charged with theft of the coffin (although perhaps could have been charged with littering for leaving Gram’s poorly cremated body behind), but I would guess the rules about such things have changed since the 60’s.
ok… so of course the next question(s)…
How long? How hot? Just how dedicated/motivated would my grieving relatives and friends need to be? It would obviously be easier to turn things over to professionals but they are a parsimonious lot!!!
In this previous thread, one poster who had worked in a funeral home said that cremation might cost as little as $600, while others suggested donation of the body for research or education, which might not cost anything for the family.
Make your own pile of wood, soak it in gasoline, climb on top and light a cigarette. Who they gonna charge with a crime?
I hope you’re not upwind of me or anyone who cares.
If you don’t mind cremation taking some time you could try the “wick effect” - wrap the body head to legs in heavy natural cotton or blankets, maybe smeared with lard or soft paraffin wax (particularly the legs). Light both ends - and stand well clear. It will take several hours, but the fats from the body will maintain burning as water boils away. This process has been known to cause the bones to reduce to ash. It probably won’t work with an athlete or really skinny individual, though.
I think they’d have to be dedicated/motivated enough to come up with a 3,000°f fire to cremate you.
I couldn’t really say, but some zombies can stagger around burning for quite some time 
Thread resurrected by now deleted spam, FWIW.
Actually, I would rather not be downwind of you. 
There was a huge kerfluffle a few years ago when some folks at UCLA were caught selling stiffs for a profit. If corpsicles have monetary value, is there any I can sell dear old Uncle Mort’s body for profit?
I shudder to think what it was an ad for…
Kingston Cadaver Starter.
As various sources including one of Cecil’s columns established (the one on SHC), it doesn’t require 2-3000 degrees to cremate a body. Those temps are used to do it quickly, fuel-efficiently and with the least noxious gases and smoke.
You can completely cremate a large body, down to crumbling bones, with any temperature that will char organic materials. it will just take longer and produce more smoke and gases.
(We also dealt with this misunderstanding in discussing the supposedly-missing children from the 1940s fire - both the conditions and the misunderstanding of cremation requirements is what lead to the assumption they were not in the fire. Bodies “cooking” in the charcoal pit of a house collapsed into its basement will be bone ash in hours, even at only 800-1000 degrees.)
Once when working on a farm, we cremated a cow in an eight hour fire. We had over 12 acres of brush to clear for a new pasture. We piled the brush up to burn the next day (with a Cat). In the morning, we found one of the cows dead in a pond. With a front end loader, we put her on top of the pile and lit the pile. At the end of the day, we had a smoldering heap of ashes. I stood fire watch all night. The next day we sifted the pile to remove any large rocks from the new field. We did not find any bones in the sifting. Just rocks and ash.
Some Native American tribes, and some First Nations folks, burn their dead in a religious ceremony. This used to be allowed on some of the reservations. Join one of these groups before you pass on.
I thought it was mummies, not zombies that were vulnerable to fire?
</D&D Nerd>
Zombies burn but with little effect.
I did a DIY cremation for my Dad earlier this year. My brother had been involved with one before so he knew a bit about it. But we had no problem. Got official permits etc… Designed and built the incinerator ourselves. Used firewood for fuel. Reduced my Dad (a big man), his coffin, and a heap of wood down to less than 2 gallons of ash over about seven hours.
I’d be happy to offer advice and/or assistance, although I am in New Zealand.
David Small