Do any Dopers have pet turtles?

They’re called “whistlepigs” for a reason. Open the fridge door (they know the carrots are stored in there) and they’ll wheeeet like a guy at a … like a … like someone that can whistle loud (dammit, I thought I had that one under control).
Very vocal critters, those.

Bearded Dragons are cool pets, maybe even lower maintenance than turtles, and as friendly as any reptile I’ve ever known.

I had the privilege of meeting these recently.
Was amazing.

No. Unfortunately, I’ll have to tell you that, no, fish do not, as according to popular belief, grow ‘to fit the tank’. A well cared for fish, kept in fresh, often-changed water, and fed well, will grow to it’s adult size - as specified by it’s genes. For some fish, like carps, it might take a fair number of years, though.

However, an excessive amount of nitrogen(?) (can’t remember exactly - sorry - but I think that’s it) do seem to stunt the growth of fresh-water fishes. But that is neither normal or healthy. A fish that don’t grow into usual adult size, usually don’t live in a healthy (enough) environment.

nitpick:

The vast majority of Pleco species only eat algaes as a last resort when they’ve run out of uneaten turtle food, poop, microrganisms, poop, lettuces and other turtle treats, poop, etc. Many are carnivorous, and all will bother smaller fish in the tank if you can keep your turtle from eating them. For algae controls you’d do better with chinese algae-eaters, though the turtle will most likely bother those as well.

Other notes: ALL turtle and tortoise species need strong UV light to metabolize their food. Lights are NOT a negotiable purchase.

Completely untrue, but there IS a grain of substance to the myth. When kept in a small and confining environment, many reptiles develop a form of bone disease that results in fusing of the bone structures. This results in a sort of bonsai reptile that usually dies as a result of it’s cruel treatment. Think foot binding on chinese women and you are on the right track.

I hit a golf ball onto a pond bank next to two snapping turtles the last time I played. They were pissed and very serious about eating the hell out of me. I let them keep the ball.

Wow, I had no idea what was involved in turtle ownership. I may not be ready for this. Thanks for the advice, everyone, and the pictures.

They’re turtles. They do pissed rather nicely.

Here are pics:
Gamra, the snapper. Not a very clear one, sorry, he likes to lurk.

Red, Aka the little bastard, my red-eared slider

Another shot of Red

Red again

The only shot I could get of Picante at this time in the morning. To make up for it, here’s an older one. However, he’s much bigger than that now, and has lost a lot of the different colors, but his spots have gotten only more vibrant.

Picante as a baby

They do live forever, don’t they? A guy down the hall from me has a pet tortoise (just a garden variety tortoise) that he acquired from his father, who got it as a birthday present as a kid. The thing is apparently quite happy; it runs around his floor and escapes down the hall every so often.

Wow, that’s cute. Next I want a leopard tortoise, so I can take it for walks. Go on youtube and google “leopard tortoise”, you’ll see some guy who takes it for walks and lets it eat his grass.