I realize this is probably a joke about PhDs who are unable to find employment in their field of research… but I feel obliged to point out that many European waiters (especially the ones you’d encounter at a nice French restaurant) are full-time professionals who don’t regard their job as a temporary means to an end, nor as a last resort when other career aspirations fall through–so they most likely do not hold doctorate degrees.
Let the wooshing ensue… 
Yeah, the doctrate holders work at Starbucks.
Is Starbucks in France?
40 stores with 39 of those opening in the past 5 years.
Yeah, well, in Spain to get a waiter’s attention, you hiss at them or say, “Oiga!” (“Hey!”). I can’t imagine an American waiter’s reaction if you tried such a thing on them.
By the way, hissing somehow found it’s way to The Philippines (From Spain?). It’s common, and not rude at all. I got used to it, and found it very useful.
That’s just “sssss”. No “p”, no “t”.
I was there in the mid sixties. Dunno if they still do it. I hope so.
Starbucks is everywhere, man.
“Sir” works extremely well – particularly in the sort of establishment where the guy doesn’t get “sirred” very often. 
I always say, “Monsieur” or “Madame”. Actually, restaurants tend to be noisy, so I try to catch their eye and beckon them over. Or do the writing in the air thing if all I want is the bill.
As in “My Name is Legion, for I am Starbucks”?
Um, do you realize that there is a difference in culture between the US and France/ Europe? As Götterfunken already said, waiter is a real profession (in Germany, you learn it for three years like other professions, in an apprenticeship; I presume France is similar.)
Therefore, you don’t have unpaid servers carrying empty dishes and waiters taking orders and hostess serving drinks and young girls bringing the menus before somebody else takes the order or however things are done in US restaurants.
The upper-class restaurants might have a sommelier in addition to the normal waiter, but otherwise, the waiter do all the interacting with the customer. Cooks and dishwashers and whatever are in the kitchen.
There are also no teenagers working part-time in a low-class restaurant. Waiters who work in low-class restaurants will earn less than in a one-star restaurant (and will need less skills), but they are still professionals.
No, it’s not that there’s nothing better, it’s what considered more courteous and modern than calling “Garcon”. It’s the proper way to do it in France / Europe.
But this isn’t about proper etiquette in the States, but in France.
I can tell you right away that calling strangers by their first name is a serious breach of etiquette and considered very rude. In a good restaurant, waiters won’t wear plastic buttons with “Hi, my name is Sally” on them, and they don’t usually say “My name is Pierre, I’m your waiter for the evening” always, either. I certainly would not call my waiter by name directly, when a simple “Please excuse me” is far more polite and less rude.
Miss to a grown woman? That’s insulting, at least in Germany, where all adult women are Frau (Mrs.) regardless of marital status. Although in Bavaria the old term for addressing a waitress actually was Fräulein = Miss, it’s fallen a bit out of favour precisly because it sounds condescing and silly to adress a 50 year old woman built like a Dutch peasant, carrying 10 liters of beer in both hands, a Miss.
And buddy? You would insult a professional adult man you don’t know with “buddy”? Really? Wow, how rude. (Dude is not apprioate, either). Professionals in a professional setting expect respect, just as they treat their customers with respect (those who know how to behave themselves, that is).
Here in Panama, the common word to call the attention of a waiter/waitress is joven (young man/young woman). It’s not quite “boy”/“girl”, but close. It does not seem to be resented, as far as I can tell. However, I can never bring myself to use it when the server is 40 or 50 years old.
But if the waiter hasn’t been around for a while, and you have to catch the eye of the host to ask him to send your waiter out, you would use the term “serveur” or “serveuse”?
Actually the literal translation is “hear, sir!” Less literally “excuse me, sir.” Kind of interesting when combined with “mozo” (never “moza,” it would be “señorita”) which means “young man,” or with “jefe,” which means “boss.” Now, whether the person doing the calling is rude enough to hiss or not and whether in that case the waiter suddenly gets deaf in one ear, would be a different question.
In Spain waiters usually don’t get specialized training and you do find people doing it part-time or during holidays, but it is a real profession with a real salary.
In languages with no common gender, it is customary for the masculine form to be used to identify a person of not-yet-known gender (serveur, here) or in the plural to include a mixed group (Tengo tres hermanos: Maria, Jose, y Rosa – literally, “I have three brothers [but in context ‘siblings’], Maria, Jose, and Rosa.”)
It might be taken as sexist by a purist, but everyone comprehends that the masculine plural means either multiple males or a mixed group, the masculine singular may mean a female person of that description if one is not aware of which sex the person answering to the appelation might be.
If I wouldn’t see my particular waiter, I would simply ask another waiter nearby to bring me water or some bread or the bill (I don’t know what you mean with the host), then this waiter would get me whatever I need or he would alert “my” waiter. There is no way there wouldn’y be any waiter at all in the place at one particular moment.
Thanks, but I was unclear. I wasn’t asking about the gender question, but simply which word one uses when describing one’s waiter to a third person.
If there are no hosts in European restaurants, who seats you when you arrive? Does the wait staff manage arrivals as well?
In my experience here, often yes. I was about to say always but I seem to remember some times where we weren’t seated by a waiter.
Here, often it goes like that: you arrive in a restaurant, a random waiter sees you and inquire what you want and then proceed to seat you. It may not be the same waiter who will then be in charge of your table.
There is a host in more upscale places though.
Steve.
At Romano’s Macaroni Grill your server writes her/his name in crayon on your (paper) table cloth.
I’m not sure why, but that really annoys me.