Do Harvard grads do this?

[gigi]

@Maeglin

Well, what are you doing working there?

I know, I know, I’m a failure. :o That’s why I hasten to assure people that I was a mediocre student at best.

[Green_Bean]

@Ruken

Now that I’ve thought on it, a better response may be, “I was in [location], at [school]”. Adds the polite clarification for those who need it without any implication of lack of knowledge on their part or false modesty on the speaker’s part.

Yeah, I think that’s a good way to handle it.

In fact, now that you mention it, I often do say, “In Pittsburgh. Carnegie Mellon,” because in the context of small-talk, mentioning Pittsburgh usually yields follow-up questions more than mentioning the school. Everybody seems to have something to say about Pittsburgh.

And I HATE the “you went to CMU, what are you doing working here” question. I feel like asking “do you want a laundry list of every frigging thing that’s happened in my life?” I usually just ask them what they mean, and it shuts them up. And that’s just for Carnegie Mellon. I can’t even imagine how annoying it must be for people who went to more prestigious schools.

[msmith537]

@Green_Bean

And I HATE the “you went to CMU, what are you doing working here” question. I feel like asking “do you want a laundry list of every frigging thing that’s happened in my life?” I usually just ask them what they mean, and it shuts them up. And that’s just for Carnegie Mellon. I can’t even imagine how annoying it must be for people who went to more prestigious schools.

What kind of work do you do that it’s so odd and out of place for someone from a good college to work there?

In my last job, I used to deal a lot with the recruiting for my group. I was told we don’t recruit at my college because “we can’t compete for those students”. It’s like all of our competetors hire from my school. The head of our group is an alumni from my school. At yet you are basically telling me I’m “too smart to work here”.

[Hostile_Dialect]

@Maeglin

University of Chicago is a school a certain sort of person gets very high and mighty about.

Dungeon Masters?

@gigi

University of Chicago is right up there with the Ivies but at the time, for whatever reason, I had a lot better chance of getting in there than an Ivy, so it was my safety school. So it would be true to say that to someone, but assholic.

I got into all the schools I applied to and went to my safety school anyway. How often do you see that?

Yeah, sometimes it smarts a little to see that UCLA acceptance letter lying around…

Hostile Dialect,
Hostile Dialect, Narcissist

[Sublight]

@Hostile_Dialect

I got into all the schools I applied to and went to my safety school anyway. How often do you see that?

Hey, I did that too.

[Tom_Tildrum]

@Maeglin

I suppose it must depend on what kind of company you keep. The people I know who take this kind of shit take it because they really are irritating, even if they don’t believe they are. Their attitude can convey that they think a great deal about their accomplishment, such as it is. This is really the root of the problem.

People who went to (in)famous schools really aren’t saddled with this great big social dilemma. Aside perhaps from the SDMB, negotiating the sensitive problem of telling people where you went to college is not all that difficult, even for a social semi-misfit like myself.

This response kind of illustrates my point. Not only is any answer to the question subject to hostility, but also any attempt to describe the dilemma is itself subject to hostility.

[gigi]

@msmith537

What kind of work do you do that it’s so odd and out of place for someone from a good college to work there?

I’ve done accounting/admin work for a number of non-profits. To hear people talk, and to read the alumni mag, I should be VP of an investment bank. I can’t imagine the stress that would be on me.

[Maeglin]

@Tom_Tildrum

This response kind of illustrates my point. Not only is any answer to the question subject to hostility, but also any attempt to describe the dilemma is itself subject to hostility.

…because it isn’t really much of a dilemma in my experience except for people who make it so.

[handsomeharry]

@11811

I only ever knew one man who was a Marine. He never bragged about it to me, but my bro-in-law said he could be pretty boastful about it. The funny thing is that this particular Marine spent his service as jeep driver to a colonel or somesuch. Not the macho, battle-hardened life you think of when you think “Marine.”

The first actual Marine that I met on the job, was even funnier than this. He wore his service cap to the office on dress down day. Some hot chick asked him about it. He talked confidently and in a roundabout manner. It came out that he was a clerk in some Midwestern supply depot. When his epic was through, he got some faraway look in his eye and said: “I have no regrets!”

[Hippy_Hollow]

I’m reminded about what one of my professors, who served on my dissertation committee, said when I told him I was considering doing research at other schools besides Harvard. He advised me not to tell people that I was from Harvard until my foot was well in the door. Having never noticed people having a huge issue about where I went to school one way or the other, I asked him why. He said, “Because no-one is agnostic about Harvard.” I do think this is true. People overwhelmingly tend to think it’s much better or much worse than it actually is. I’m the same way. You can name a number of schools and I will raise my eyebrows and say, “Hey, good school.”

Other weird story I have is when I got into my doctoral program. I was at a conference and a guy who’d mentored me from afar was there, so I went up to him and started a conversation with him. He asked me how my career was going, and I said it was fine, but I was going to head back to school for my doctorate. He was pleased and asked me “where?” I said “Harvard.” Out of the blue, another guy who was half-in the conversation starts ranting, “Why Harvard? There are so many more programs that are better, that will give you more aid, etc. etc.” The funny thing is that the guy I was talking to was clearly embarrassed - he was genuinely happy for me and this friend of his was acting like a jackass. I was there with a friend who delighted in imitating the guy’s spasms about the H-bomb the entire weekend. It was so random!

[Spice_Weasel]

@handsomeharry

The first actual Marine that I met on the job, was even funnier than this. He wore his service cap to the office on dress down day. Some hot chick asked him about it. He talked confidently and in a roundabout manner. It came out that he was a clerk in some Midwestern supply depot. When his epic was through, he got some faraway look in his eye and said: “I have no regrets!”

Ok, that is funny.