It’s also worth mentioning that the difference between a 1-2 year old and a “little kid” is vast. It’s not just about not understanding consequences: 1-2 year old toddlers are arguably not even self-aware. They can’t form intent any more than a sleeping person can.
Haven’t you caught on by now? The guy likes to pretend he doesn’t understand or believe in morality, despite constantly telling us how wrong we are for not thinking about things his way.
I also wonder if anyone has noticed that the majority of people voting actually think you do have the right to know. Must be a bunch of morons who don’t have kids, huh?
I really can’t comprehend those of you who don’t want to know. It’s a basic aspect of love, as far as I’m concerned. You want to know what happens to things that are precious to you. Thinking about this in a cold logical manner of “What good does it do me to know?” doesn’t make sense to me.
It’s just a matter of what you do with people and even things that are precious to you. When they get hurt, you want to know what caused them to get hurt. You don’t want to delegate that task to someone else who doesn’t care about that precious person as much as you do. If you do come to the conclusion that you don’t actually need to know, it’s done with a heavy heart, in contradiction to your basic instincts.
That said, I don’t come to that conclusion, because one of the premises you guys are using is wrong. You don’t send your two-year-old kid to daycare because you want to. They are the most precious thing in the world to you, and you want to take care of them. You send them to daycare because you can’t simultaneously provide for them (either now or in the future) and handle the more rudimentary caregiving tasks. You generally don’t have a choice to take the kid out of daycare because you disagree with their policies. Sure, there are multiple daycares, but it’s not like you can just drop out of one and switch to another in the middle of the year.
If your kid were older, you could argue that letting them out in the world does them some good on their road to independence, but that’s not the case here. It’s not some “precious snowflake” thing to want to keep tabs on your two-year-old kid, nor is it helicopter parenting.
So what can I do about the situation if I know who did it? For one, I can keep my child away from that kid outside of school until I know they’ve gotten this under control. I’ve seen kids bite before, but never in a way that leaves an actual injury. (My mom was a daycare worker, for goodness sake.) I may not blame the kid, but there’s an easy way to minimize the risk of an injury from occurring again. Surely the daycare is doing the same thing at school for me to be satisfied with how they are handling it. Why can’t I do it at home? Am I supposed to just not associate with any parents of any kids who go to my kid’s daycare?
My question is, why do they think that I shouldn’t know? Apparently it’s not that I might take it into my own hands, as you made fun of jtgain for thinking that. So what is it? Is it to coddle the parents of the kid who did the biting, keeping anyone from thinking anything bad about their kid? Or is it just the reason you’ve given: “I don’t need to know”? Since when is that sufficient not to know something? I don’t “need to know” far less important things than this.
So those of us who say we don’t need to know don’t love out kids? :dubious:
Many of us are saying that this is a phase that many kids go through. It could be our kids who are the biters. Should we all be shunned, as you seem to be suggesting? My son bit one kids once, how would you know when he is “better?”
One of the girls in my daughter’s daycare when they were two was more aggressive than my daughter. We let them play together and watched them more carefully than we would had she not been that aggressive. Our “precious snowflake” survived and they are fine.
People were not giving jtgain a hard time for suggesting that wanting to know is bad, they were giving him a hard time because he/she was being ridiculous about it.
Thank you for escalating it to attack all people who don’t support your point of view.. That’s all that a parenting thread needs.
I appreciate your attempt to extrapolate feelings related to parenting and other human relationships from that time someone broke your Boba Fett or spilled apple juice on your Pokemon cards, but stop.
I stopped paying attention to the poll after the second or third person posting saying something like “I voted yes, but then I read the thread and changed my mind.”
And regardless, *most *people will tell you that pregnancy lasts 9 months and that pineapples grow on trees - there’s lots of things the majority is wrong about. But thanks for that argumentum ad populum.
That’s both a huge, developmentally inappropriate helicopter parenting response AND illogical. You don’t permanently separate babies who bite; you put them back together and keep an eye on them and try to jump in the second before it happens again to redirect the aggression and model more appropriate behavior on both their parts - how to settle disputes without biting and how to dissuade a person from biting you.
This is what you should be doing for every single child your kid interacts with at home anyhow - *and *you resign yourself to the fact that sometimes kids bite and it’s not the end of the world. So if the teacher tells you it was Timmy that bit, you’ll shun Timmy and only invite Nathan over? Two strikes. Just because Timmy bit once doesn’t mean he’ll bite again, and just because Nathan hasn’t bit yet doesn’t mean he won’t today. You *always *watch kids at this age - they’re like puppies. And despite your watching, sometimes they get a quick nip in anyhow. (But you can’t whack them on the nose with a newspaper.)
And now for the illogical part: how do you know “they’ve gotten this under control” until the kids are playing together again? You can’t keep your kid away AND get the situation under control. The control only comes through changing the interactions, and they need to interact to do that, and practice it.
Because they’re afraid you’ll react exactly like you’re telling us you’d react.
It was the choice of Boba Fett that pushed this from mildly funny into horse laugh-eliciting hilarious. Well done. Very well done.
What possible good could come out of parents knowing which kids bit their child? I can’t think of any.
What possible bad could come out of it? I can think of many.
Of course you have that right. And as soon as you know this little Hannibal Lecter’s name, you should give him and his parents a thorough verbal scolding.
You ever wonder how many people have died while fighting for their lives because of their long indoctrination of 'Biting is bad." conditioning all their lives?
I did not care which kid bit mine, I wanted to know if my kid won the fight.
When opening the door to physical aggression, it is silly & useless to cry about what walks in. Need to learn that young… IMO
Biting is not a proper response to verbal attack but itty bitty kids don’t do that, ( they can’t communicate verbally yet ) they, like animals, use physical aggression. There should be real consequences for that…
What do you all suggest as the proper response from the day care worker?
So, if your kid loses the fight, then what?
Teeth to face. I thought that was made clear. Who’s teeth is inconsequential.
I don’t have the time or energy to flip out about every single altercation my kids might have, especially ones that are developmentally appropriate. And please note that by “developmentally appropriate,” I don’t mean an action that should be encouraged, but an action is that is hardly surprising and, unfortunately, normal for that developmental stage. And I trust my daycare to handle the situation appropriately (including appropriate consequences for the biter and making my child feel better), which is why my child is there in the first place. Why would I trust my child to people if I didn’t know they could handle it? Like you said, choosing to put your child in daycare in the first place is a hard choice; I’m going to choose a daycare I trust.
And what makes you think that the daycare isn’t telling the parents who did the biting? Mine always has (though it’s been mercifully infrequent and usually limited to smart mouthing for my daughter). Obviously they would. It’s their responsibility as a childcare provider to tell the child’s parents if they’re doing something they shouldn’t.
And for what it’s worth, of course I wonder who did the biting. I usually know - both my kids have been chatterboxes from 18 months on and quite capable of telling me who bit and who didn’t. But I don’t think the daycare is required to tell me. I haven’t any idea what I’d do with that information - sit and stew about it?
. . . which is also all meaningless. Using meaningless words to try to explain what other meaningless words mean doesn’t really get us anywhere.
Those two things are not contradictory. Do you see why?