Welcome to the Dark Side, Ithaka.
Mighty glad to have you on board.
And to set things straight from the start, my username is not pronounced “lyin’ elf”. Thank you.
Welcome, Ithaka! 
I’ve only been here a couple months, myself, but I’m definitely a Dope Fiend ™. I dare not express the depth of my love for this place to my family or friends, because they might threaten to take away my cable modem, or make me go outside or something… :eek:
But seriously, as others have told you, addiction is not a requirement here at the SDMB. It’s just a nice side benefit.
laina_f: But “Lyin’ Elf” would be such a cool Doper name! 
Don’t worry, when I joined up I got the goat treatment too. It’s not nearly as bad as it sounds. In fact, the goat and I still correspond on occasion.
And welcome!
Welcome aboard!
You’re not supposed to form emotional attachments with the goat. It might affect his performance with the others…
Welcome, Ithaka! Homer fan, are you?
Don’t listen to Misnomer. This place is nothing less than heroin with grammar nazis.
Welcome to the boards, Ithaka!
Try not to worry about the goat too much. If you’re nervous and tense, it will just hurt more.
Are you going for the standard initiation package, or should we send the ahem ancillary supplies so that you can try for Gold Dong member status?
Now where’d we stash that candiru?
Hey, I don’t remember the goat treatment.
I’ll hold your hand, Ithaka, at least until the goats get here.
Spank him on his full-paid-up member!
Does anyone know where the goat is? Or has it run away again?
I know where the goat is. But I’m not telling.
But we need the goat!
Okay. But it’ll cost you. Two pounds of really good chocolate, or four pounds of Kona beans.
Why should it be really good chocolate?
After all, it isn’t a very good goat.
Okay, make it Hershey’s, and you got a deal. But none of that “chocolate flavored” wax stuff they sell in the Dollar Store at Christmas time!
Sllurrppp . . . ploppp . . . ptangg.
Phew . . . that was interesting.
Whilst not recommending time with the goat, it’s not all bad.
Thanks for all the welcomes, guys.
It’s like the 1960s: if you can remember the goat, you didn’t really experience it.
Exactly. This is how I know I experienced the goat, becaus I cannot remember it, either.