Um, shouldn’t that ring up as $6.66?
Wow. Lots of activity among those curious to see how the real other half lives. 
So much for being cold-natured, huh?
So, I’ll try to be more brief than usual in my catch up this time, especially since I don’t want to awaken Bob from his first doozy hang-over in my body. Heh. Just goes to show that New Year’s Eve is definitely more rockin’ without Mr. Clark. (Who we both hope is doing better, BTW.)
malkavia ~ You’re a real sweetheart. I only wish I could say that the letter writing approach had helped much. Unfortunately at this point, I’ve probably amassed enough correspondence to her to be considered the president of a fan club. And it’s not like she doesn’t know how I feel… during this very episode of which I tease, I explained that if I had ever been successful with any of my suicide attempts and left her a lengthy note, blaming everything on her, (sentence after sentence, page after page, in great detail – which is all I know how to do 
), she would’ve still read it and concluded; “Yep, just more proof that she was indeed possessed/whatever.” The woman never accepts anything for herself. Any logical or rational dealings with her are pointless. I’ll simply try to keep pretty much to myself, like you wisely suggest. Thank you.
Yllaria ~ You’re absolutely right! No of any good travel agents? I should also start now on planning what gifts to take to his family. Any ideas on the best items to impress newly made in-laws? Obviously, something warm will always go over good with these folks, but I’m thinking the climate also lends itself to something festive. Unfortunately, I can’t knit or I’d make matching scarves for a little extra dash.
bobkitty ~ Well, even the nutso people she fellowships with would probably think this one was around the bend, therefore meaning that she’d be more than happy to go it alone in her belief if it was unsupported. She loves and completely buys into that whole persecution and martyr complex. However, maybe if you could give me a few expert tips from the research you’ve got going on, I could at least feign some actual symptoms or such that it would amuse me and the ol’ Bobster. Hey, a laugh is great for those of us who keep questionable company. 
Siege ~ I knew there was more than one reason why I adored you so much… the fact that we seem to share such a, erm, mischievous spirit. Glad you mentioned the pentagram, because, amazingly, I just happened to buy a cheapo parchment recently (suitable for framing) to display whenever I move back out on my own again. Gotta get art wherever one can find it on sale! I’ll definitely have to check into getting my own copies of the *Necronomicon * and The Screwtape Letters, then accidentally leaving them both at her place simultaneously. Right now though, I’ve been focusing on spending my energies stocking up on EVIL paraphernalia like my “Spells for Dummies” book, my fortune teller magnet that I just received from my Secret Santa, a mood ring and the dreaded resurgence of biorhythms. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to keep faking it.
Oh, and as bizarre as this will sound in conjunction with all I’ve previously already written, she has no problem whatsoever with HP or LotR. :rolleyes: That’s different than honest-to-badness Satanic stuff like the Psychic Friends Network, Black Sabbath (with or without Ozzy, I’m not sure) and splitting your tongue. Although she has nothing to worry about on that last one. I’m way too much of a wuss for that. My nose even still hurts. 
I think she should just be grateful that I chose something she never actively railed against to make her cross to bear. I could’ve been an atheistic lesbian dating someone of another race who listens to blue grass and likes abstract art. She should thank her lucky stars daily!
I suppose that translates then back into me “shaking the dust.” Where’s all the fun to be had when you’re hanging out with the others in the Buffy-verse? I want a demon that looks and acts like Spike! Oooh baby.
featherlou ~ Dang. Ya know, I actually thought about that when I was writing this all out and wondered if anyone would consider my feelings to be honestly to the contrary of what I state. Then I forgot about it and went on ahead aiming for a truncated version of Dante’s Inferno (I must stay relevant here, right?). You see, I understand that it looks that way to everyone playing along at home and would to me too if I wasn’t right in the big, fat middle of the tempest. However, from what I’ve been through with Mde. Shitler, this is about as close as I’ve ever come with being totally separated from her permanently.
Until a year ago, I still spoke to the woman every friggin’ day, when we had absolutely zilch to discuss (not much happens to a depressed, suicidal agoraphobic) and weren’t the least bit interested in trying. I did that because it’s what she wanted. All attempts in the past to disentangle myself somewhat had gone nowhere. And that’s just one tiny example. Now, it doesn’t even take work to stand my ground, to go sometimes weeks without hearing her voice (and it could be months when I was with the ex – who she hates more than Bob) and not be guilt tripped in the least. I can’t make that apparent to outsiders, sadly, but it is true. This just tripped me up because I could have seen her accusing me of spontaneously changing sexes overnight before I’d have thought of this. Stupid, I know. But that’s what all this is. Plus, me still affording her the ability to hurt me via shock and confusion. I’ll be working on that though and soon, there’ll be no portal left unclosed.
laina_f ~ So far, I haven’t noticed too many benefits. Bob doesn’t hold his liquor better, hasn’t gotten me any nifty discounts into adult bookstores or made anyone else breakdance on demand. It does make me feel better to have an actual entity to talk to rather than just myself. I am looking into us sparking up our wardrobe and I’m hoping he’ll at least introduce me to some hip, new, happenin’ slang. The downside seems to be that he’s getting all the attention. Since I can be shy sometimes, that certainly doesn’t help me from coveting the much-sought-after wallflower role. Then there’s the whole stigma thing. Bob appears a little disappointed that he didn’t come away with someone more exciting to manipulate. Perhaps he was looking for a former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, a Porche salesperson, the owner of ALL spam (or NutriSystems, you take your pick), Stephen Hawking, O.J. (or wait, I’m thinking a fellow corrupter got to him first) or the Pope. I hope he’s not too upset that it was only me.
Therefore, if you’re truly interested in attracting some spice yourself, I would suggest you perking up your persona as much as possible. Then all the awesomely bad-ass type henchmen will be in line to sign you up ASAP. The more ya got everything going on (thrown in some already illegal, fattening or on-the-edge thrilling [like Poke’mon] activities with classics like sloth and greed), the better your chances. You want to make your temple demon-friendly.
As to what the going rate is? Here’s an example:
Happy Horn and Pitchfork Hunting Luck!
Scotti ~ The only thing I can say to you is that I absolutely think you’re wonderful and I loooooooooove you. I so wish I knew any women in my real life who are as beautiful as you, inside and out. Bless you so much for giving my heart a much needed lift. May your new year be the best and brightest ever. Gracias mi amiga.
Veb ~ Bullshitter is right. That ::: cough ::: lady ::: cough ::: is why therapists were invented and there are now definitions of “projection” and “denial” used extensively within the AMA. I do agree, though, with you and others (and I’m sure, even I had already decided, in my very twisted, sick and controlled way) that fucking with her will prove to be the best catharsis regarding this that I/we can do. So I’ll be lapping up all these suggestions and playing them to the hilt. I’m sure that at some point, I’ll come back on here, in MPSIMS probably because my mother certainly deserves no less than my most mundane and pointless, to update Bob’s progress with infusing her insanity with a little hilarity. I so appreciate all the help guys. I knew I could count on you (from esteemed members and moderators alike!) all to make this a bewitching worthy of 2005. We’ll make this baby great!
::: bows humbly before the masses and promises to offer more shuffle board on level 3 :::
Poly ~ Then a photoshop should be in order, right? Throw me in there, with a superimposed picture of Kevin Smith (after Dogma, surely he must be the devil) and we’ll make her head spin. 
'Cause she already hates this name of mine. What with all the "but whosoever shall say, You fool, shall be in danger of hell fire” (Matt. 5:22) part. We’d have her so confuzzled and running for the nearest exits that Phred would be proud of her.
What a thing to aspire to.
Ok, this is installment is over-ripe and it is now proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, right up there with relativity and Murphy’s Law, that I can’t not type TOO MUCH SHIT.
::: sigh :::
Sorry. I should’ve left Bob in charge. Where is that loafing good-fer-nuthin’ anyhow? One can’t be sleeping on the job when there’s candy to steal and puppies to kick. I gotta get his sorry ass out of bed and tell him that’s not how things are done at chez faithfool. We’ve got a block to conquer in Lucifer’s name! Well, right after “The Three Stooges” and my pop tarts. Even those hoping to land the most infamous throne in the history of the world have to be alert. That’s why the Good Guy invented chocolate. Mmmmm.
Now I’ve got the munchies. :o
faithfool, you must start a “Ask the Demon-Possessed” thread in MPSIMS. Immediately!
Ummm…that’s because you didn’t know I look more like Bob than I look like Elizabeth Hurley. Well, except for my teeth are more rounded and I don’t have horns and…I must have lost my tail somewhere along the line. [sub]It didn’t have a nametag on it, so it is lost in the dim recesses of…KMart, probably. [/sub] AND…my hair is red, but I prevent the body from following suit.
So okay, maybe I look more like an imp. Except I’m not green, or…oh, whatever.
E iguales a usted, mi corazón. Usted ha luchado y luchado y usted merece una vida mejor que la usted ha tenido hasta ahora. Mi amor y rezos van con usted, siempre.*
A whole lot of us are pulling for you, darling. Hang in there and keep the faith, okay?
My Love,
Cheri
*This translation brought to you by Babelfish, so don’t blame ME if I said something awful there…