I started one when I was in 2nd grade, about the age little boys make up tall tales.
Mine was about a boy who wasn’t allowed to go to the restroom by his mean 2nd grade teacher. By the time recess came, the urine pressure had ruptured one of his testicles.
(In the original telling, I used the words: piss, pee, nuts/balls.)
Four years later, I heard this same story, only it had been attributed to happening to one of my classmates. I say that I told that story in 2nd grade. Then the classmate hears this and is mad at me for telling a fib about him. I tried to explain that I didn’t say it was him when I told it. He didn’t believe me. :rolleyes:
Y’know, that reminds me of something I was told by my best friend’s sister’s fiancee. See a friend of his knows this guy who has a couple of kids. Or had, I should say. They heard that there were these guys down in South America? And they…y’know…put these little tiny special potatoes up their butts. 'cause, y’know…vodka is made from potatos and when you put one up your butt (and you don’t have to be gay or something to do it either!) and leave it there for a couple of hours and the potatos will, like, slowly ferment and you get high and horny ('cause there’s these special nerves down there that make you horny) at the same time for a long time.
Anyway, this guy: his kids decided to try it. So they went to the Safeway. The big one with all the weird vegetables and fruits? And anyway, they found these little tiny purple potatoes. They figured they’d try the little ones first.
Well they both tried it, but nothing happened so the first kid took the potato out but the second kid decided to leave his in overnight. Anyway, he didn’t come down for breakfast the next morning so his folks went up to find him but HE WAS DEAD!!!
So the coroner did an autopsy and cut him up and do you know what he found? His entire insides, even his brain were strangled by potato vines! Those dumb kids used live potatoes instead of the dead ones that you eat 'n stuff. And the potato grew and grew inside the one kid.
Well, the other kid was happy to be alive, even though his brother was dead, but the doctor told him he’d have to drink a special medicine that kills potatoes because the potato left spores or something inside him and unless he drinks this medicine (that costs like $500 a bottle!) he’ll die too. And the kid stopped taking it for just one day to see what would happen and potato sprouts came out his nose! He was so scared that he drank half the bottle and he’s going to have to drink this stuff for the rest of his life!
Anyway, I know it’s true 'cause another kid was just found dead of internal strangulation. I saw it in the paper somewhere.