Do not fuck with my Receptionists! (lame)

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ll just preface this by saying that this is my first post as a paying member of the SDMB. Woot. This actually pissed me off to such a degree that I forked out the $15 for a subscription, just to rant.

Do not fuck with my receptionists. This is a enormous undertaking for our small company - we provide rigs, rooms, four warm meals a day, cleaning staff, health-care staff, Securitas Guards and maintenance, for over 4500 workers, at the drop of a dime. Want to hazard a guess as to who does all the paperwork, orders and - well, the list goes fucking on and on. Yeah, us bloody receptionists. Now, we earn good money - great, for people still in the education system, like me - and we don’t complain. We’re balanced.

So don’t FUCK WITH MY DAMN RECEPTIONISTS!

It takes around four months in this job before you’re even comfortable with the routines. Six months before we let your ass pull a single solo shift. To work here, your balls have to be on the right side of the periodic table. I was having a pissing contest with a friend of mine who’s a receptionist in a nearby town, at a hotel. Her biggest overbook situation ran to elleven people on a friday night. Mine was two hundred and twenty pissed off Irish and Scots at 2AM on a Sunday. That we had no rooms for. That’s the kind of shit you have to straight-arm, if you want to work here.

SO DON’T FUCK WITH MY DAMN RECEPTIONISTS!

Now, I’m not the boss here. I’m just a very young, fellow receptionist. Until two months ago, I was the FNG. But, since the Union people are too busy bitching and moaning about the maintenance staff - and good on them, they deserve some attention - and since the actual Chief of the Reception is a 8-4 officer worker who’s rarely, if ever, at the front lines . . . well, I’m the person who checks out if ‘my people’ are alright. Have they been working too much? Too many consecutive shifts? Getting home alright? Any sexual hassling? Have enough time off? Getting paid right, and on time? Those kinds of things. I don’t actually have to do it, but I see to it, and they appreciate someone doing it.

Which means I empathize with, and feel responsible for, all my colleagues. So don’t fuck with my damn receptionists! ARRRRGH!

Now, if anyone has reached this point, I am, frankly, amazed. Miserable attempt. Do you know what has triggered this thread?

Since July, I’ve lost four receptionists. Four out of NINE. All because of you assholes! One girl - 20 years older than me - broke down, CRYING, after her shift, when I came. I literally had to hold her for ten minutes before she calmed down. Her note of resignation was on her desk ten minutes later. She couldn’t take it, any more. Another one jumped ship on a job that he KNOWS will lead nowhere, offers less pay and worse benefits and worse hours than this one, just to get the fuck away from you turdfaced cunts. Third person - a person who worked in fucking forced rehab for pregnant drug addicts, on a VOLUNTEER basis, for five years, is now also getting the hell away from this shit. Fourth girl is going back to her divorcee husband and the restaurant she opened in the capitol, nevermind the abuse case.

So, fuck you guys. Fuck you abrasive assholes who treat my colleagues - my fucking friends - like complete shit just because YOU didn’t get a room with internet access, even though you SPECIFIED (8 months ago) that you absolutely HAD to have one, so you could play in tournaments. Nevermind the fact that we have three thousand three hundred rooms and two fucking cruise liners availble and swapping your room would take as much effort as changing a digit in your profile, but noooooo, you had to be the camel-stinking CUNT and start yelling.

To the Securitas officer who dragged the drunken, chauvinist Turk away from the reception last night: Thank you. Thirty seconds more and one of us would’ve gone through the window. Much appreciated.

(I’m sorry at this poor attempt at a Pitting. It’s my first one, sorry. Also, apologies for my English - I’m Norwegian and I’m very rusty. :o That should about cover the disclaimers, I guess.)

With regards,
E/A

(Do NOT fuck with my receptionists! :mad: )

2

Welcome aboard, and thank you for being conscientious about seeing your colleagues as free from abuse and exploitation as you can.

And don’t be talking deprecatingly about your Pitting skills. I’ve seen Pit OPs from far more seasoned Dopers than you that looked like half-hearted, limp-wristed slap fights, when compared to yours. My vote for Most Valuable Player of the OP goes to the following sentence:

A very strong start. :slight_smile:

3

FNG?

Fucking Night Girl? Do explain.

Your skills in English (potty-mouth patois) are a solid 9.1. though. Native born truckers usually can’t develop a phrase a delicious as ‘turdfaced cunts’. Be proud!

4

But can I fuck your receptionists? :smiley:

I agree with Annie–your English writing is excellent. Welcome aboard.

5

I promise not to fuck with your receptionists.

6

Fucking New Guy/Girl.

Low man on totem pole, usually quite clueless.
To the OP: I feel your pain. You can have an otherwise great (well paying) job, but if you’re getting just catching shit and getting no support from above, it’s a tough place to be.

7

Damn! If this is your idea of a “lame” Pitting, I can’t WAIT to see what you come up with in a real rant!

(And I mean that as a compliment, btw!)

8

OK, good rant, but I’m unclear on one thing. Should I or should I not fuck with your receptionists.
(Welcome aboard.)

9

I think she’s saying that you may not fuck with her lame receptionists. It’s only sporting that they be able to run away.

10

Okay, okay. I will not fuck with your receptionists.
Your accounting department, however, is still fair game.

11

Balls of Helium?

12

Krypton, maybe.

13

Worse.

Radon. :eek:

14

Grazie.

15

Not only will I promise not to fuck with your receptionists, but I will promise not to fuck with any receptioninsts, anywhere, ever.

Your rant was excellent, by the way. It had a good beat and you could dance to it. But I’m a little confused as to one thing–what kind of a place is this that you work? It doesn’t sound like an ordinary hotel. Did I miss something?

I’ll give you one bit of constructive criticism, language-wise–you don’t say “at the drop of a dime.” You say “at the drop of a hat.” To drop a dime means to rat someone out.

16

I am confused about this part though. Are you saying that people requested a room 8 months ago and didn’t get it and they were upset? Because I’d be upset about that, too. Not that I would be unnecessarily rude to receptionists about it, but it’s a valid point.

Unless I’m missing the point…

17

Yes, they put in the request eight months ago (as everyone within a hectare was recently informed at top volume), but the correction could have been accomplished with a couple of keystrokes in less time than it took them to work up the foam to drool out of their mouths while they hurled every imprecation their tiny brains could recall at the receptionist who was unlikely to have been the person to have actually made the error.

Requesting corrections is legitimate; abusing the staff for easily corrected errors is not.

18

I wonder if he might have meant that all those things can be arranged with a single phone call.

If so, his knowledge of pay phone rates around here is a bit out of date, though…

19

ok, that’s a bit more clear. Thanks. I was reading it as the hotel staff couldn’t make the changes and the OP didn’t think they had a right to be upset about that. Of course the yelling is inappropriate and always useless in these situations.

20

You work for a cruise line, or a hotel, or a casino? :confused: