Reading through various threads touching on the subject of “interacting with right-wingers, Trumpers, election-deniers, etc.” I realize that many people don’t see things the way I do, which is to give them a number of chances to persuade me they are sincere, genuinely holding policy positions that make sense to them, and so on, before I conclude that they are insincere trolls, racists, morons, provocateurs, and therefore no longer warrant my granting them the courtesy of hearing them out and responding to them with patience and civility—permanently.
In other words, I try to allow a certain latitude, but once we’ve crossed that point and I’ve concluded that they are not simply people with whom I hold a difference of opinion but bad people, I just give up on them.
For certain people, whom I would characterize as “dupes” or “marks” for the most part, this concept simply doesn’t exist. No one is irreclaimable, they claim. You can always make an argument that turns someone around, they say. Or, at worst, “people can change,” so you never want to give up on anyone.
To me, this may be technically true, or impossible to demonstrate the falsifiability of, but life is short. Reluctantly, I concede that I simply have enemies in this world, that people exist who are twisted, evil, often crazy, permanently deformed, and for all practical purposes, irredeemably so.
Now, it may simply be the case that I have a lower threshold for judging when someone has crossed the line of irredeemability and a greater sense of skepticism (or maybe a higher sensitivity to accusations of being a dupe myself) but I would argue that, in essence, there are those like me who accept the concept (and practice) of giving up on people relatively easily, and those who prefer to believe that no such concept exists. Of course, I’m excluding the middle ground, which many would claim they stand on, claiming “it exists but only in rare cases and after much testing of the waters,” and so on and most people would put themselves into this middle category rather than see themselves as dupes or marks but I think that’s mostly self-serving wishiwashiness.
Do you agree that “giving up on people” is a useful, productive, efficient way to run your life? It may have painful consequences (losing people with whom you’ve been friendly in the past, for example) but I think those consequences are less costly in the long run than the alternative.
