For the umpteenth time on the commuter train this morning, some woman sitting next to me whipped out a lapful of makeup and started tarting herself up in public. I kept expecting her to throw her leg over my lap and begin shaving.
Now, you know I am hardly anti-makeup—I’d sooner go outdoors stark naked than without lipstick. But for chrissakes, get up five minutes earlier and put it on in the privacy of your bathroom! When she was dabbing on the mascara, I kept hoping for a sudden stop.
I also note it’s usually the women with the worst taste in makeup (Munchkin rough circles, brick-red lipstick, bright blue eyeshadow) who do this, so I am often tempted to offer make-over suggestions (audience participation!).
How do women expect to be taken seriously as mens’ equals if they are going to paint themselves up like a buncha hussies in public?! I’ve yet to see a man whip out a shaving brush and start to lather up on the 7:35.
Damn, Evie, when I started reading the above I got all excited about what I was going to say in response, and then you go and spoil it all with that last line!
Well, I’ll say it anyway, having absolutely no sense of shame.
The phenomenon you describe first came about in the 1920s…A few years back, I came across a nifty drawing in a big volume from Fantagraphics Press called Great Cartoons of the 20th Century.
It showed women in various public or semi-public situations (riding the subway, sitting in a theater, receiving a proposal of marriage) applying lipstick, powder, rouge, whatever. In every one of the drawings, the men involved were lathering up with a shaving brush, or dragging a razor across their faces. And they were all drawn with the same little prissy faces and pursed lips that women get when they’re doing this public primping.
Wonderful cartoon…I think it originally ran in Vanity Fair or Liberty or one of those mags…
Well, when there’s water available, the men are no better than the women. I used to go to a fitness club, and one of the workers there mentioned that they had to clean out the hottub twice as frequently as they should of because men would lather up and shave while sitting in it.
Well, my ex bf used to shave in the car with his electric razor, so men certainly aren’t immune to the toilette-while-in-transit thing. On his part, it was because he was usually too busy goofing around to do what he was supposed to be doing, namely, getting ready to go. That said, I am more put off by women putting on makeup in public, mostly because that’s a more involved process that I’d really rather not have to witness–you know, how you can’t put on mascara without opening your mouth reeealll wide like some crazed fish. Do it at home, ladies.
Back when I still wore makeup, I would occasionally run out of time to put it on. I rode the bus to work in those days, so would have had ample time to apply makeup en route. I NEVER DID. Instead, I would bring it to the office and apply it in the ladies room - not at my DESK, either!
For those women who won’t be seen in public without makeup, do you realize how much goofier you look putting it on than you do without it on?
Any similarities between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
Did you ever consider that you may be misconstruing the situation. Perhaps, when these women are confronted by your radiant beauty and the polished appearance you project, they can do nothing but use the paltry tools they have at hand in feeble efforts to meet your impossibly high standards?
Here in the South, Eve,“That’s just Not Done”. Of course, the true Belle doesn’t even go out for her (never solo) Powerwalk without full facial regalia either. So I guess it’s a mixed bag-o-L’Oreal.
The ride is short and the thrills are cheap- Men and rollercoasters. - - -Courtesy of Wally, that Signifying Guy.
I used to wonder about the women doing their makeup on the train until I had the experience of watching one women perform an entire change of clothing on the train.
She was wearing a large full-length trench coat and I didn’t notice her until she pulled her arms inside the coat. When her arms popped out again she was holding her blouse and bra, which she traded for a flannel button-down from her bag. As far as I could tell she changed everything but her panties (if she was wearing any).
I assume she had a good reason for changing right then, but ever since I haven’t been bothered by anything I see commuters doing.
I work in an office building which houses several different companies. We have public restrooms, and there’s a woman from the company next door who regularly curls her hair, puts on makeup, etc. in the bathroom. The other women and I have a name for her - “Big Hair” and there’s reports of her in there several times a day doing her personal grooming.
Someone once struck up a conversation with her, and she told her that she made it a point to do her grooming at work, because then she’s paid to do it. I guess it makes sense when your personal grooming session takes 30 minute+ every day. It’s quite a spectacle for me and the other techie women in the office, all of whom consider doing more than 10 minutes of grooming excessive. I figure I’m doing well when I manage to get my hair up in a ponytail and maybe a squirt of perfume on before work.
Satan if you wear makeup, period, we need to talk.
I will admit to putting on lipstick while stopped at the longest traffic light ever, which is right outside my apartment. And if I have a client meeting I have to metro to, I’ll apply pressed powder and lipstick on hte metro.
Aside from that…good lord no, I don’t apply stuff in public. Worst I’ve seen was a woman tweezing her eyebrows on the subway. Lovely.
Twice I have been sitting next to someone on the bus who decided to start clipping their fingernails! I think that’s such a disgusting thing to do in public… little nail bits flying all over. Yuch.
Putting on makeup on the bus? That’s not so bad. The other day I saw a guy blasting down the fast lane in an old VW Beetle with shaving cream all over his face and a newspaper propped up on the steering wheel. Scared me so damn bad I stayed in the slow lane for a week.