That sounds similar to how I have an easier time remembering General Eisenhower’s full name than President Eisenhower’s.
Oh, if the question is “Why does the brain jump quickly (even if incorrectly) to conclusions?”, then that one’s easy. Throughout our evolutionary history, we’ve faced a lot of situations where delay in coming to a decision is fatal, but where a quick decision at least has the chance to not be fatal. So we’ve evolved to make quick decisions.
No, there’s no situation where your life would be riding on knowing whether you remember the capital of Uzbekistan, but it’s all run by the same systems as the systems that tell you whether to run, fight, or climb a tree when confronted with a lion (try any of those, but don’t just stand there thinking about it).
The past 5 years or so I have watched my in-laws slip into dementia and Alzheimer’s. My MIL was first. She could remember things from 30, 40 years ago. But the recent past became a blur to her. It soon evolved into accusing my FIL of unspeakable acts, bringing women into the house for sex, stealing her stuff (usually things she hid then couldn’t find) and finally into raping small children. She called the police once about the rapes, this brought a 3 car response from the local police. She is now in memory care, for the most part the past to her happened 15 minutes ago, she has no memory of her distant past. To her my wife is a cousin of hers that died 30 years ago, I am a former local newscaster that retired a few years ago, her husband is still the child rapist.
My FIL’s memory is slipping a bit, I think it’s more just old age, my wife thinks he has full blown dementia. His memories of his childhood and beyond is still sharp, his short term memory has gotten pretty bad. His thing lately is a drug to cure Alzheimer’s, he wants my MIL to come home and have things the way they were 10 years ago. Besides watching her parents lives very slowly slip into the abyss, she also had to deal with the financial aspects of this too. What was a nice nest egg is rapidly being eaten up by my MIL’s care. My wife is truly afraid what will happen to her father if the house he bought almost 70 years ago will have to be sold to pay for his wife’s care. He has become very anti-social the past couple years and would not do well in an assisted living environment. This also has me scared for my wife if the same things happen to her in the next 20 years.
Oh, if the question is “Why does the brain jump quickly (even if incorrectly) to conclusions?”, then that one’s easy. Throughout our evolutionary history, we’ve faced a lot of situations where delay in coming to a decision is fatal, but where a quick decision at least has the chance to not be fatal. So we’ve evolved to make quick decisions.
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Yes, that explains why but I’m interested in how. (Even though I said why.)
I have a pretty good idea what you’re going through. My mom developed dementia in the latter years of her life and my dad the best that he could to take care of her. I was eventually able to persuade him to move them both into an assisted living facility. My dad was getting more and more feeble due to age and diabetes and one of my biggest fears was that he would go before her and then I didn’t know what we would do. Memory care is extremely expensive and isn’t covered by Medicaid.
In 2020, they both got COVID. They were both taken to the hospital but he was the only one admitted. She was sent back to the facility and given an oxygen mask. Two days later, she was found dead on the floor of their room. I don’t know exactly what happened but I’d guess that she took her mask off it it bothered her because she wouldn’t have known why she needed it. Three days later, my dad died in the hospital never having known that mom preceded him.
In some ways, her death was a relief. She had been “gone” for a couple of years. She still recognized us but she couldn’t process many memories.
I understand the dread that you’re feeling. Whenever I can’t remove something that I know I should, my mind rushes in to worry that I might be experiencing more memory loss than is normal. I’ve taken comfort from websites that describe the typical memory loss that we all experience and the means to distinguish it from Alzheimer’s or dementia.
Dementia is simply awful for everyone involved. I hope for nothing but the best for your family.