Do we really not have an AGT thread this season?

Maybe it’s because like me, I don’t think this season is quite as good as others have been. We’re already a few weeks into judge’s cuts and I haven’t seen anything about it. So, I’m wondering, what acts have you liked? What has surprised you about the judge’s cuts? Are there acts you think deserved to go through that didn’t or vice versa? I was very surprised that the high school dancers, I don’t know their name made it through. They were the ones dressed up like Alice in Wonderland. My daughter is in high school, and I think she nailed it. She said, they are good as a high school dance team on a high school stage, but it’s not nearly a million dollar act. I was floored they went through, I just wasn’t impressed.

My household can’t get enough of competition reality TV for some weird reason, so I’m forced to watch this. Thoughts, no particular order:

Re. the judges (i.e. what competition reality TV is COMPLETELY 100% ABOUT these days):

  • When I find myself agreeing with my dad on something, that’s generally an extremely bad sign. Last week he pointed out that Simon Cowell has been completely out of line lately by demanding that contestants change what they’re doing right before, or occasionally in the middle of the act. “There needs to be more danger.” “I don’t like this song, change it.” He’s a judge. If he doesn’t like what he saw, he’s perfectly within his rights to pan it, but he has absolutely no business freaking dictating what the contestant is going to do. And if he is going to pull that BS, he should, at the absolute minimum, give adequate time for the contestant to prepare for it! I’ve grumbled about how The Voice is little more than a cult of personality, but at least the judges mess around with each other, and when they do play games with the contestants, it’s completely within what the rules of the show expressly permit them to do. Cowell has no such excuses. I didn’t mind him too much on American Idol; I understand that his punk act was his whole appeal, and it was tolerable as long as that’s as far as he took it. But now, with his out-of-control ego is resulting in gross abuses of power, he has become a complete cancer to AGT, and NBC can’t throw him on the scrap pile soon enough. What the hell does a self-centered greedbag music exec know about stunt work or theatrical dance anyway.
  • Getting really, really, really tired of Heidi Klum and Mel B’s goddam screaming. How in Makai is a judge endlessly screaming considered a positive thing, or even a non-abysmal thing. And for what? Yes, there are dangerous acts. There are always dangerous acts. YOU SHOULD BE USED TO IT BY NOW. And this isn’t a live show, so you have nothing to worry about if something does go horribly wrong. If you must show energy or be passionate or whatever crap those mindless sycophants are constantly blathering about Mary Murphy, how about controlled reactions? Whoops, yelps, whistles, maybe a “whooooa” or “yikes” or “owww”? Does it have to be the nuclear option every damn time???
  • Getting incredibly tired of all the phony-baloney turd-in-the-punchbowl poseur contrarian garbage. Like, who the hell do you think you’re fooling? Either actually believing that crap or thinking that it’s going to make a subatomic particle of difference? If the act doesn’t stink up the joint, it’s going through, and you being an annoying triggering little snot isn’t going to change a damn thing. Listen, what made Simon Cowell’s Britpunk act on American Idol work was that 1. some of those contestants really were that bad, and 2. Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson sometimes agreed with him. That’s not going to work on a show where the audience loves absolutely everybody and you’re obligated to bring in a large pool of contenders to make cuts from. You’re just being a jerk and wasting everybody’s time.
  • Speaking of phony-baloney poseur nonsense, could you please cut it out with the scathing, scathing takedowns of obviously terrible acts? Oh, it was so bad and you hated it so much that you allowed it on national telelvision, took two fricking minutes to hit the buzzer, and allowed the little punk to interrupt you eight times while you were using your customary 2,000 words to convey the extremely complex concept of the act sucking. Who the hell do you think you’re fooling? If you can’t stand the act, shoot it down immediately, say “Sorry, no, goodbye,” and get that waste of oxygen off the stage. That you continue to give these cretins insanely long platforms and have to be dragged kicking and screaming into giving the thumbs-down tells me that you love this crap. And hey, sadomasochism is a thing, I understand, I’m not going to judge. But own up to it, dangit. Don’t complain about how much the mire stinks while you’re gleefully wallowing in it.
  • Re. the golden buzzer. I wasn’t a big fan of this at first, mainly because it was so obviously nothing but a cheap vehicle for suffocating drama. But now I not only think it’s perfectly fine, it should have unlimited use throughout the entire prelims. Heck, I’d be fine with everyone getting the GB. Why? Because it takes out the even more suffocating drama of the judges arguing the fate of a contestant who is extremely obviously going make it like goddam Supreme Court case. The GB makes “yes” one syllable again, and I’m all for that.
  • Okay, so only seven acts are getting through. They say this at the top of the show. It’s a pretty basic rule. So why do you have to remind us at the end of EVERY SINGLE GODDAM ACT?? What purpose does this serve, other than to illustrate what a clueless empty vessel you are? I remember when Matt Iseman constantly yammered about “incidental contact” in Team Ninja Warrior, but after about 80 times he accepted the fact that the audience got it and moved on to other things. Good gravy, if you’re worse behind the mike than freaking Eyes, something’s seriously gone wrong with your life.

Re. everything else:

  • Remember when there actually was variety in the acts? The amazing light shows, the jaw-dropping aerial tricks, the physics-defying theater? Or one-offs like the sand painter and Kinetic King (hey, I actually remember the name of one of these)? What happened to all the magicians? Now it seems to be 90% boring singers, lifeless comedians, and mildly risky stunts. We want this show to impress us; we didn’t tune in to hear the 25 millionth belting of One Moment In Time. If we have to have so much damn singing, let’s have genres that actually require some effort. Hardcore punk, thrash, acid techno, new age, samba.
  • Really do not like that there are something like 15 cutaways in a freaking 2-minute performance. With voting playing such a key role, it’s important that the voters get to see what’s happening, and continually breaking the action wrecks that. If American Ninja Warrior could have a split screen because focusing on the person actually in the goddam competition is just sooooooo boring, so can AGT. Make it happen!

It’s like NBC is trying to combine the worst aspects of American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, and Hell’s Kitchen. Not seeing how this is a winning formula.

It’s been kind of “meh” this year.

I don’t know if it’s just me but their manufactured pulling of heartstrings seems to be off the chart this year.

I was also a little turned off by the judges reactions to the insult comic guy. What a bunch of crybabies! (except for Simon). This world hasn’t seen a good insult comic in ages.

I’m watching it but kind of turned off by the judges. It’s not a show about them. It’s great that Simon is recommending different songs for contestants but it’s also giving a second chance to some performers that others don’t get. There have been other claims of rigging in the initial selection process. The judges are also passing a lot of contestants through the first round that they know won’t be going on after the current judge’s cut round.

I’ll keep watching though, the acts are entertaining even if the judges are annoying.

I agree, it’s meh this season and I also agree Simon having certain acts switch things up because he’s not feeling it or whatever is bullshit. If Simon doesn’t like the act, then he has the option to give them a no vote. I also agree acts are put through that have no chance of making it through the next round. I know it’s always that way, but this year I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of a lack of really good talent.