Recently, in an inter-office meeting, I saw the most amazing dynamic between several women. They were all talking about the upcoming vacation weekend and their own individual plans when I piped in and asked one of the women (who is a friend of my wife) what she was doing for the 4th. Immediately all the other women in the group turned their heads, perked up their ears and listened in on what said woman had planned to do for independence day.
Slightly embarassed she spoke in a low voice and basically stated she was going to Nantucket with her ‘new’ boyfriend and spending the long weekend there.
I commented briefly and walked back to my office. Later that morning, just before lunch I over heard several other female employees talking about my wifes’ friend in a not-so-nice way. They were being flat out bitchy towards this woman, and they did not even have the guts to say the things they were saying to her face. Things like, “that bitch, she is friends with CODA’S wife, thats the only reason she has her corner office…” and “what a glory hound, who does she think she is, talking about going to nantucket, this weekend with her new boyfriend, what a bitch” etc…etc… The conversation went on from there using much more colorful language than I would prefer to write about.
Basically, I have heard all of this before. Women back-stabbing other women in the office, talking about each other behind their backs, weaseling their way into each others lives just to use a morsel of information against the other at a later time. And the conflict seems to be only with the women in the office.
When it comes to the men in the office, I have seen non of this. I am not attempting to be sexist in any way!!! I have watched this dynamic between the female employees for quite some time, and the level of deception goes right up the corporate ladder. It is not just the women on the first floor, it goes strait to the top as well.
I have rarely if ever seen a women back-stab a man or vice the verse in an office setting. It is most always the other way around, women talking about other women in such a derrogatory way that I can hardly believe it.
Have others seen this? I know I can not be alone with this thinking! I almost can not believe the level of deception I have seen among female employees here. 
Any ideas? Is this some kind of evolutionary survivalistic mechanism built into some women? I wish I knew…
No.
The same sort of thing happens with men, you just don’t associate the behavior with the gender because it’s yours (at least, I assume from your post–if not, I’m gonna look like a damn fool).
I have only worked in mostly or entirely female office environments (low-level office workers and workers at non-profit organizations are almost all women), and have never observed anything resembling the legendary female workplace backstabbing.
Well I guess I must work in the mecca of gossip.
shrugs
I prefer working with men, because I don’t get along very well with most women. Not because I’m a (what’s the proper pc word here . . . ?) – Not because I’m easy or anything, I just find that most women (that I know) ascribe way too much importance to things that don’t interest or matter to me. I tend to think more as ‘one of the guys’ than one of the girls.
As for female backstabbing in the workplace: men tend to complain/backstab/gossip/whatever about stuff that’s related to work. Women do all of the above about personal things too (re: the OP), and then change their behaviour in the workplace towards that person – not cool.
Hmm, where I used to work, the women backstabbed other women AND men. I used to be blown away at the venom that got spread around (I’m female, by the way.)
My wife would much rather work with men than women. She gets tired of the catty bitchiness and the oversensitiveness. A disagreement between her and another guy about a work-related issue is, well, a disagreement about a work-related issue. With another woman it turns into a referendum on character and a grudges that seem to never get resolved.
The last one was she was trying to get some help filing and there was a big brou-ha over whose job it was to do what. One of the other women actually made a snide comment on my wife’s choice of clothing! Like that has anything to do with filing :rolleyes:
I’ve worked with some wonderful men and women. I’ve worked with some terrible men and women. I’ll work happily with anyone so long as they’re not a crusty turd and can make me laugh.
Those women mentioned in the OP - Coda, are you sure they weren’t a pack of jr. high school-age interns or something?
oh yeah divemaster, men never make remarks about anything that has nothing to do with the job, like no man ever told me that if I wore shorter skirts I would get further in my chosen career…
Here’s something funny. Generally speaking, I tend to gravitate toward males as friends over women (this is a tendency, not a rule. I have many women friends). However, I work in an office that is predominantly women, and I hope it stays that way. I love working with women. And no, we do NOT backstab or gossip. Quite the contrary. I’ve never worked in such a caring environment, one in which people we to willing to look out for each other, to not care about credit or glory, and attempt to get along.
Of course, I don’t think that has much to do with gender, it’s just the people we have.