[QUOTE=meenie7]
Hee hee 
You made him laugh. That’s not easy to do, he’s usually pretty serious. 
[/QUOTE]
I’m glad to hear it. Maybe there’s hope for me as a success in undead stage comedy.
*–Do we have any poltergeists in the audience tonight? Any poltergeists? Woah, lot of tables levitating out there! Great to have you here tonight, guys. I just want to let the poltergeists know: I don’t do knock-knock jokes. Heh heh!.. is this thing on? Help me out, people: I’m dying up here!
Seriously, it’s great to be here in St. Augustine. I see we have a few Confederate soldiers here tonight. Big hand for our boys in gray, everyone! You guys up from Fort Castillo de san Marcos? Super. Does everybody here know about the annual march at the Fort? No? Oh, they’ve been doing it for, what, over 140 years now? Yep, one night every year an honor guard of five ghosts in Confederate uniform does a full circuit of the courtyard. Every single year at the stroke of midnight, these same five ghosts make their rounds like clockwork.
So last year, a group of paranormal investigators heard about this annual event, and they decide they’re going to film this march, right? Record it on camera, finally get the evidence for ghosts they’ve been looking for all these years. So the day before the march, they rig up all their equipment, all their cameras, and pretty soon the sun’s starting to go down, and it gets dark. And they wait.
And sure enough, at the stroke of midnight, an eerie mist starts to rise, and the faint echo of “The Bonnie Blue Flag” sounds on a spectral fife. And the mist parts, and out march… four ghosts.
So the ghosts march solemnly around the courtyard, and the investigators are frantically recording everything. And the soldiers finish their march, and they start to vanish back into the mists. And one of the investigators shouts out after them: “Hey, what happened to the fifth guy?”
And one of the soldiers turns around and calls back: “He’s sick!”
THANK YOU! Thank you very much, folks. No, seriously: dead audiences are the best audiences in the world. And now, I’d like to introduce our headline act for the evening. Big hand, please, for funnyman Edgar Cayce!..*