Do you believe in love at first sight?

Two part poll: each time I do these it gets screwed up-either I’m not clear on the instructions, or people don’t bother reading the instructions, so I’ll try short and sweet this time…

Two questions-first part is general (philosophical attitudes) 3 answers to choose from, second part is specific (personal experiences), again 3 answers, so ONLY TWO VOTES PER VOTER PLEASE!

As for me, it has happened twice. First time in my teens, saw a girl, w/ curly ebony locks, talking to my sister at the pool, and I immediately said to myself, “I KNOW that girl.” Subsequent events would prove that the connection was deep and genuine in every way under the sun, but alas this happened during my Dark Times, plus her parents (Turkish immigrants) thought I was some druggie hippie freak (grew my hair long during college). Long story short we drifted apart after I did some fairly obtuse and dickish things.

Second time was long after the Dark Times, infinitely healthier mentally, cute little blonde librarian whose smile would make Hitler do cartwheels for the rest of eternity while singing “Happy Happy Joy Joy!” 3 day weekend of bliss, alike in every way imaginable, followed by distance and then breakup-it got all too intense for her even tho she instigated a lot of it at first.

I had it happen once.

But in retrospect, I do not believe it was love but an uncommonly strong, CHEMICAL reaction which we humans apply the “love” mantle to.

In my case (as in many instances), it did not last and actually imploded in a dark, ugly monstrosity of a situation.

When it was young and new and fresh, it was oh-so grand and very memorable. When it bad, it was one of the worst times of my life.

In retrospect, I do not call it “love” and has made more circumspect about the subject and those who express such feelings (either towards me or towards others).

It is just chemical. It is just chemical. It is just chemical.

And it does not last.

I agree, it is just chemical and does not last. Had a friend who was bowled head over heels over some girl. Whirlwind courtship, quick marriage, and it all fell apart, and badly. They did not marry the people they thought they were, it was all surface excitement and infatuation.

My first wife and I met through mutual friends and I instantly had the hots for her. We went on from there to get married.

My second wife told me that she saw me at a union meeting where everyone was advocating a strike and I stood up to argue against it even though everyone thought it was a good thing.

So, when we first met, her positive feelings toward me may have influenced my positive feelings toward her. Whatever the case may be a few weeks later we were living together in Europe.

I will have to say yes. I always know within 5 minutes of meeting or seeing someone, whether I will like them or not. If not, it never will be. Its not ‘love’ the minute I meet, but it certainly can turn into it.

I chose ‘other’ for the first option. Love means different things to different people. IMO passion isn’t the most important factor in a healthy or lasting relationship.

It’s sure never happened to me. I take the beginning of relationships very slow and have good emotional control. I have been strongly physically attracted to a few people ‘at first sight’ but I’ve never pursued any of them. And I’ve never felt much of an emotional connection to anyone without plenty of time spent getting to know them for who they truly are.

I believe in lust at first sight but not love. Saying you love someone implies that you know them, to me, to some degree. I don’t think you can know someone till you’ve met them and spent some time knowing them. Before that, it’s just infatuation.

I had to vote for “other” in the first part. I don’t believe it “happens all the time,” but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

When my partner and I met, we both felt something very strong and immediate and absolute. It was like an electric shock, without the electricity. Somehow we both just ***knew ***we had found the right one. Of course it wasn’t literally “love,” because that can only evolve over time, but it was like the door to love had suddenly been kicked open.

Lust, infatuation, attraction, connection…yes. Love, in a meaningful romantic sense of the word which wouldn’t apply to my relationship with chocolate…no.

Now, I believe real love can happen quickly, more quickly than many people would admit, but it takes more than visual content.

^^Exactly. I’ve had instant connections with people, which leads to wanting to see them again, and getting to know each other better, which then sometimes leads to love and long-term relationships. I’ve never thought, though, “See! I knew I loved you from the beginning!” No, I didn’t.

I knew I was going to marry my wife the moment I laid eyes on her.

It was an arranged marriage, but y’know, still.

ETA: Sorry, read this wrong…

Yes, I’m certain that it happens all the time.

What do you see when you turn out the light?

Sorry about the Beatle lyric (couldn’t resist-Ringo and all that)-as the Original Poller I hereby decree that you have permission to read that as “Yes, it’s certainly possible, tho not necessarily commonplace.”

I agree with this. I would say that I was instantly attracted to both of my ex wives but I certainly didn’t love them, at least in how I define love. It took over a year for me to feel love for the first and about six months for the second.

For me lust and hot monkey sex happened much faster than the love part.

Pretty much what I was going to say, and the reason I chose “no” for part one and “other” for part two. I don’t believe people fall in love immediately - they might fall in love with the idea of the person they see, and that can be coupled with a physical desire, but it isn’t love. Love takes time and patience and even work, and involves getting to know someone as well as you know yourself. My husband and I were saying “I love you” early on in our relationship (we were young) but I really think it took the better part of a year before I realised what that really meant and that it was true. All the posts with people saying that it happened to them but it didn’t last…that’s not love, IMHO.

Yes, but it only works if it happens to both people at the same time & if they work at it to keep it going, like any relationship.

Using the analogy of love & fire, some people are lucky enough to get a gasoline starter. But if they don’t work hard at the relationship the same way people who didn’t get that starter learn to do, they can’t keep their fire going.

I’m sure it happens, but not often. It’s never happened to me.

I’ve been strongly-attracted to certain women upon meeting them, but that’s just simple innocent physical lust. In that situation, there’s no way I can know them enough to know whether I love them or even whether we’d get along.

In a world of six billion people, I’m sure instant togetherness happens on occasion, but then in a world of six billion people, if you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people like you. :slight_smile:

Yes, and not simply “sight,” but just as much by smell. I guess that may be unacceptably animalistic, lust-not-love, since visual love can claim connection to geometric symetry. But it was just as much a spiritual component as any other. “We don’t live in our bodies, we are our bodies,” and all that.