But is it shortchanging someone if you get them something they really appreciate? In my friend group, what matters most is showing how well you know someone, and often the rarity of an item. For instance, a friend of mine loves this film called Diva. Of course she owns the film itself, but when I gave her one of the original posters, I think people across the street could hear her squealing. I don’t remember what I spent on the poster, or what I spent on other people that year. I got her something she loved, that’s all.
I personally couldn’t care less about the cost of a gift to measure generosity that’s given to me but it does bug me if my lovely wife spends too much. She’s also a master at remembering who gave what for a wedding in case we have to reciprocate.