Because, outside of some huge differences, I would assume that most families would not bring it up. Arguing sucks. Discussion, maybe. But arguing means people will be angry and hurt.
Arguing doesn’t necessarily suck as long as tempers don’t get hot and both sides can give just as good as they get.
As I said upthread, my family has arguments all the time. Perhaps because we argue all the time, we know how to do it in a detached way so that no one’s feelings get hurt. Voices will get loud, but only out of passion and the desire to be heard. Not anger.
Growing up, I always loved when my parents fought over politics and the Bible because I knew they were in a good enough mood to get het up over abstract, esoteric stuff. Plus, I really learned a lot by hearing them go back and forth. In contrast, I would cower under the covers when they argued over money or child-rearing or anything not related to Jesus, God, or politics. Because that’s when the fur would fly. That’s when you’d hear the cuss words and the threats. So early on, I learned that not all arguments are the same.
This. As I said, we argue recreationally.
I’d rather not have politics intrude on family get-togethers. My trick is to drop an F bomb. A few years ago someone started ranting, so I interrupted and suggested we go 'round the table and say what we were thankful for. I offered to start, “I’m thankful we can avoid politics one fucking day each year”. TaDa!
I’ve found myself doing just that, subconsciously. I found it doesn’t work as good with people who are aware that you are their political opposite: They’ll just put anything you say into the “BS” pigeonhole and shut off their minds ( which are arguably fairly well shut anyway )
It works really good with people you either don’t know well, or never really discussed politics in any length. There are people who know me as well read but because I haven’t engaged in partisan conversations or I bit my tongue before, somehow think I’m closer to them ( Read: further to the right ) than I am. I’ll deconstruct, cross-examine their statements, but not in a snarky way. Gets them thinking. Thinking critically. Gotta’ play it cool though and not blow my cover.
The family that I have typically spent my Thanksgivings with for the past few years graces my Facebook feed reasonably frequently with comments supportive of this Fox News post or that one. But it never actually comes up during the visit. I imagine they’re no more interested in trying to throw down than I am.
Not Thanksgiving, but for quite a while I was going back to America for Christmas and I would stay with my sister and her Fox News-watching diehard conversative husband who hated liberals. I tried to avoid getting into any discussions with him, but he would go off on rants.
The year of the huge tsunami in Indonesia, he and I were in the kitchen while my sister was in the living room watching TV. He was going on and on about how terrible was that not everyone fell in line on the Iraqi war. I didn’t support the war, and I thought he was going to blow a gasket.
Just as the the discussion was getting really heated, my sister called out from the living room. They were showing the news about the tsunami.
We eventually went to a rule about never discussing politics.
I don’t mind political discussions, just hate arguments because it seems that people get too heated.