When I was a kid (late 50s/early 60s) I remember my mom had the numbers of lots of our neighbors and they had ours. It’s not that she’d spend lots of time on the phone with any of them, but if I was babysitting for one of them or if someone wanted to borrow something and called ahead before coming over, it was convenient.
Something I read on a local forum made me realize that since I’ve been a homeowner, in all the places I’ve/we’ve lived, I never had a neighbor’s number, nor have they had ours. In fact, often, I didn’t even know the neighbor’s names. I only know the name of the guy to the north of us because we’ve gotten his mail a couple of times. Don’t know any of the others - and we’ve lived here since 2004.
We’re not anti-social. When we moved here, we were both working full-time, so weekends were spent doing chores. And the houses are spaced fairly far apart (3-acre lots) further reducing any chance encounters. Even decades ago when our daughter was in school, her friends lived in different areas, and while we had the numbers for the various parents, there was no need to call those living immediately near us.
Or maybe we are anti-social in that we never made the effort to meet most neighbors. Do you have contact info for your neighbors?
No phone numbers and I barely know a couple of them by name. I chat sometimes when out in the yard but other than that I have no idea who my neighbors are just a couple of house down or what they do. But I am an older male, I suspect (all right I know) that the younger ones with kids do know each other as I see their kids playing together and them having longer conversations with them when they meet on the street.
Typical exchange this morning, my neighbor and I were taking the garbage out to the curb and he had a suitcase and stopped by his car to drop it off. I committed that he was taking his garbage with him on his trip. He laughed and we went our separate ways.
Yes, but it’s a function of our neighborhood watch effort. For our four block matrix we have what is called the Neighborhood Map. It’s a diagram of the neighborhood showing structures in proper relation to one another, addresses and contains the name and phone numbers for everyone. We have 100% participation.
The map is updated every nine months. I collect the updates but someone else with graphic design talent maintains the map.
I live in a similar neighborhood (1/3 acre suburbs). I have everyone’s phone number. But i think I’m an outlier.
When we first moved here, we threw a housewarming party, and invited all the neighbors over. We did this by dropping off invitations at the nearby doors. So we met a lot of our neighbors then.
We live on a lot that directly faces a little dead end. The neighbors who live there have a tradition of jointly putting up a Christmas tree in the center of the dead end, followed by a pot luck party. Probably due to our housewarming, we got added to that list. And it’s literally a list on a piece of paper, with everyone’s name, phone number, and now, email, organized geographically, so your can look at the paper and see who lives where.
Since then we’ve had two very social families move in. About twice a year they throw a huge block party, inviting everyone nearby plus their other local friends. I think they really want to hold a big party for their friends, but realize that by inviting the neighbors they are a neighborhood asset rather than a nuisance.
I also do enough yardwork that i run into the dog walkers, the exercise walkers, and other nearby yard-workers.
Anyway. Yeah, i have a list on my fridge with everyone’s name and contact info. But it takes work, and it takes cooperation from the neighbors, who also work to keep the neighborhood together.
I’m feeling mighty neighborly because I actually know my closest neighbors’ names. I don’t have their phone numbers written down or otherwise recorded though.
There’s always the magic of Intrusive Internet if I need them.
We’re in the. middle. We are on good terms with some, but it tapers off rapidly as the distance increases.
I’ll send a text for house issues (“Did you mean to leave your garage door up?” That sort of thing.).
OTOH, the neighborhood is 50% or more LDS, so of course, they all are interconnected, they know everyone of their group, and all their business. And with some exceptions, don’t care to include us “gentiles” in their circle.
I know we were introduced to the couple who live behind us - the ones whose security light shines in our bedroom when all the leaves have fallen. But not only do I not remember their names, I don’t know if they’re still alive - I know the folks we bought from have both died.
Anyway, the guy in the back came up to me one day years ago as I was working in my yard and told me that the “illegal aliens” who lived next door were going thru my yard at night to get to his yard. And he knew all about that sort of thing because he “used to work in law enforcement.” Okaaaaaaayyyy… (My guess: mall security guard)
First off, at the time, my next door neighbors were Puerto Ricans, so not exactly illegals. Secondly, I live on a corner lot, so if someone wanted to get to the guy behind me, it would be easier and safer to just walk down the street, because at the time, the fence line, such as it was, was overgrown and littered with downed branches and all kinds of vines - not easy to navigate during the day, let alone at night. And I’m pretty sure the evidence he saw or heard was actually caused by my dog who found a hole in the fence at the corner - so he may have heard her wandering thru his undergrowth. Anyway, I haven’t seen him since that day, and when I’ve walked down the side street, the people I see in the yard are lots younger than he was.
I wouldn’t mind getting to know my neighbors - I’ve spoken to several in passing over the years. But in this little community, people seem to keep to themselves beyond a friendly wave in passing.
We know many of our neighbors, have their phone numbers, and in one or two cases exchange spare house keys for emergencies. Many of our neighbors have kids close in age to ours so we know them from school activities and youth sports, and developed a network. We on the lists for alternate day-care pickups, things like that. There are a lot of casual parties or impromptu get-togethers. Once we had a huge snowstorm and the family down the street invited people over to bring whatever leftovers they had in the fridge.
We bought new construction in a new neighborhood so maybe that has something to do with it–a bunch of people all moved in within a year or two of on another.
We’re on really good terms with one neighbor (think Ricardo’s and Mertz’s) and haver her phone #. We do not really get along with the neighbors on the other side and don’t interact more than we have to - so no phone # there…
Only one, the old lady across the street (I say “old” but she’s maybe 6 years older than I am, but she looks and acts older). We’d help her out once in a while with things like getting her garage door fixed, and she gave us a key in case of emergency, and we exchanged phone numbers. But in recent years her children have been around more helping out, and a few months ago she apparently had a stroke and is now in a home. A couple of other neighbors who have been around for a while we know to nod to; the neighbors on our right we talk to sometimes, but I’m blessed if I can get their names right. They’re Chinese, and they don’t have the same family name although I’m sure they are married, and they have kids. We’ve gotten their mail a couple of times but I can’t tell which name goes with which person.
We have a lot of fairly close-by neighbors, here in San Francisco most houses butt up against the neighbor’s house because we have 25’ frontages. But for most of our neighborhood, everyone seems to pretty much ignore everyone else. That suits my personality, but not my husband’s, who will chat with anyone when he gets the chance. He used to love to gossip with that old lady about the rest of the neighbors, she knew everything, apparently she spent a lot of her time at the windows.
I live in the city, in Chicago. I have the phone numbers for my neighbor directly to the north and the neighbor directly to the south. I don’t think I have anybody else’s number. I might have the neighbor-across-the-alley’s phone number somewhere written down, but it’s not in my phone. My block (1/8 mile long) has about 50 houses, 25 on each side of the street. Almost all are single family homes.
I’d really have to hunt for the numbers but I’ve got them somewhere for about 3 neighbors. I’m actually a witness on the will for one of the ladies across the street, though often struggle to remember her name. We’re in a semi detached, so there’s often reason to contact the neighbor on our left and we share a driveway with the neighbor on the right so we talk all the time.
During our lockdown period, I think my profile in the neighborhood was significantly raised. I was doing lots of work on the front yard and there were a lot more people just out for a walk. Also, my right hand neighbor’s son had some long & loud teen romance drama on the corner that I felt the need to go shutdown, which I’m sure was seen from many a peeked curtain.
Definitely. In fact we watch one neighbor’s house when he is away and he watches ours. We give him some if our garden produce, and I’ve helped him with his computer.
And he helped find me my last job, so you never know.
He is one house away. We also have the number of the people who live between us, and the guy on the other side. Plus a few others, one of whom taught my daughter when she was in 4th grade.
Same when we lived in NJ 25 years ago.
I stay at a second home during the week. Yes, those neighbors have my phone number, and have called me a few times with “something happened while you were gone” messages. One was that the garage door was a-kimble (a broken spring), and another was the wife of a different neighbor had died unexpectedly. We appreciated the calls.
In our main house, nope, don’t have their phone numbers, but we can just walk over any time to see the new baby or to meet the visiting grandparents or to return their cat.
In the house we lived in for 47 years I knew all our neighbors, some really well. I didn’t have phone numbers in most cases, but we had these guides called telephone books. A year and a half ago, I moved into a condo that has 54 units. I say hello to the people across the hall, but I haven’t any idea of their names. In fact, the only person whose name I even know had a piece of her mail put in my mailbox by mistake and so I saw her name and apt. no. on the envelope. Of course, things have been locked down for nearly a years.
We initiated a phone/email tree for any neighbors who cared to participate. It’s part of disaster preparation, for one thing, but also a good idea to be able to call someone for any other emergency. We know the names of nearly everyone on our block on all four sides, and on both sides of the street, and know them by sight, as well. Hell, we even know who the renters are and actually (gasp!) talk to them. It makes us all better neighbors. I know this is not the norm, but it’s way better to be able to walk up to a neighbor and discuss an issue than to just stew about it. We even exchange meals with the folks next door on occasion. I really hate how isolated Americans have become.
I live in an apartment building. I only knew the name of one neighbor because he was good at turning older women (eg my mother) into codependent women, and he died late last year. My mother had his phone number, except he kept changing it because his phone service kept getting cut off (he was a hoarder/compulsive shopper on disability). I recognize a couple of faces of other neighbors on my floor and that’s about it.
My mother knows many people there though. I think it might be a generational thing. I pretty much only learn about people if I converse with them, and that’s easiest at school. I have no reason to converse with neighbors and they have no reason to converse with me.
