Do you feel compelled to comment on strangers’ physical appearances?

In My Humble Opinion
61

I have been known to compliment someone on a new haircut or highlights. Or if I really like an outfit or shoes, I’ll compliment them. But that’s it. Those are things that someone can control - I think it’s weird to compliment someone for something outside of their control. My sister has curly red hair and I always thought it was tiresome and kind of strange when she was younger (I’m 6 years older than she is) and was constantly accosted by strangers who wanted to know about her hair. My mom used to be asked if she dyed it! Yeah, my mom dyed her 5 year old daughter’s hair.

As a kid, I had sandy blond hair that’s gotten darker and redder as I’ve gotten older. So now I am starting to get the red hair questions. Just last week one of my coworkers asked me if my mom was a redhead, was that where I got it from? But it’s pretty new and I still find it rather a novelty. I was more weirded out when one of my coworkers demanded to know whether I wore color contacts. I think it was her manner more than the actual question, though. (I have gray/green/blue eyes that change color depending on what I’m wearing, and since I was wearing a green shirt, they looked greener than usual.)

Regarding comments on physical imperfections: when I was a freshman in college, I was in a bad bike accident. I tore up the whole left side of my face, I was on crutches, the whole shebang. And I hated hated hated the people who would stare at me, trying to figure out what I’d done to myself, just to turn away and pretend to be looking at something else when I caught them at it. I ran into a group of fifth graders on a field trip on the bus once while I was still pretty beat up and it was a relief to have these well-meaning but tactless kids ask me what had happened. Had I broken anything? Did it hurt much? Did I have stitches? At least they were honest about their curiosity.

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I comment, especially with babies or little kids. But then this is WV, and people are pretty relaxed and friendly here. I wouldn’t dare tell someone in, say, New York city that their 2 year old is adorable.

With adults? Nah, not unless it’s a friend or something.

I love compliments, though. The last good one I got was a few months ago. I had just cut and dyed my hair, drastically, and I was waiting in the hall before Spanish class started. I’d actually put on makeup that day, too, and I gotta admit I was looking good that day. My teacher came walking down the hall, looked at me weird and then she said “Is that Abbie?” I said “yeah it’s me.” All she said was “WOW” but the way she said it implied it was a good wow.

Was kinda cool :slight_smile:

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This reminded me of the Seinfeld episode with the doctor who described a rather unattractive baby (never shown) as “breathtaking”, only to later use the same word to compliment Elaine. :smiley: (Personally, I’ve always found Julia Louis-Dreyfus to be rather fetching.)

Anyhoo…