Last night I had a meeting with my 4 year old’s counselor. A number of times she insisted that my daughter has some sort of disease because she doesn’t like the way some socks, shoes, pants, and shirts feel on her. I can’t remember exactly what the disease is, but the counselor insisted that only a few percent of people get bothered by seams and tags in their clothing. She even went so far as to tell me that she can wear shirts backwards, socks upside down and not notice it at all unless someone says something to her.
The counselor also knows someone who can help, she evaluates the child, for $500 an hour, and then recommends a treatment. There were some other things that this woman has said that make me think that she’s full of the woo woo.
I have a three year-old that oftentimes asks me to take the tags off of his shirts. He prefers the way certain pyjamas feel over others, comments when he pants get too tight (he is growing, after all), and we don’t really see this as a problem.
From my limited understanding of psychology, a behavior is only “pathological” if it interferes significantly with daily life. So, if your four year-old takes a half-hour to get dressed every morning and is constantly griping about seams and whatnot in school, then maybe some therapy is in order (but $500 an hour, yikes!). Otherwise, I’d say go with your woo-woo detector.
I have to remove the tags from most of my clothes, as they cause itching. T-shirt manufacturers who have gone with the silk screened tags make me super happy. I don’t have that many issues with seaming on my clothes, but tags - itchy itchy itchy.
When TheKid was little, I had to cut tags and use Dreft on all of her clothes, as the tags and seaming would abrade her skin.
Wow. Since this is my humble opinion, I’ll give it. If someone suggested to me that my child needed $500/hr. therapy because of how clothes felt I’d thank him/her and leave. Then I’d contacting my child’s MD and ask for advice/treatment for clothing, detergent, etc. allergies.
I used to have a real problem with seams and tags irritating me. In the last five years or so, they’ve stopped bothering me. I also stopped feeling cold all the time in the same time period. I stopped noticing it around the same time I started taking anti-depressants. It might be a coincidence or I might just be more mellow than I was pre-meds. Well, I know I am. But I wasn’t expecting that I would stop obsessing about tags and seams as a by-product. So like I said, maybe just coincidence.
As for your kid, as long as she can find something comfortable to wear, I don’t think it’s a problem. I also found things I liked even when it bothered me. I agree silk screen tags are nice. Also, try to find underpants for her where the elastic is covered and flat, like it is in mens’ briefs. Little girls’ underpants often have the elastic right next to the skin and that can be irritating.
If you want to get a second opinion, ask her regular pediatrician first, not this counselor’s $500 friend.
The counselor sounds less typical to me than the kid. All the little girls I’ve had occasion to discuss the matter with–two of mine, three of others’–have been particular about clothes like that (can’t stand tags, can’t wear turtlenecks, can’t wear certain fabrics, must tuck shirt into pants, must have stretchy pants, etc.)
Years back, I suppose when she was around 4, my daughter used to break down in tears when we’d make her wear socks. She was pretty particular about a lot of her clothes actually, liking some and hating others because of some perceived comfort issue. This was strange because she wasn’t fussy or difficult in any other way, quite the contrary actually. For the most part she’s outgrown that now, this without any $500/hour counseling.
In general, I can tell where seams are but they don’t bother me, I have to think about them to know where they are.
People who use labels apparently made from fishing line on all-cotton or viscosa clothes make me all bitey, though :mad: - specially the ones who sew them to the item with the same thread that makes up the seam, so I can’t cut the label off completely. It’s gotten to the point that when I like an item, I specifically check the label: one on the side seam may not bother me at all when I’m standing up but become scratch-o-hell when I sit down typing.
Can’t stand most stuff on my neck, either. I love the look of pendants but no, not for me.
I think the counselor needs some counseling. Wearing some no-closing-required piece of clothing inside-out and not noticing, I’ve seen - but backwards shirts? Did she mean what we call “tops” in Spain, like t-shirts but without the t part? I mean, how do you not notice that you’re closing a button-down shirt on the back? And if it’s a “top”, unless the counselor is absolutely flat, doesn’t any that’s actually her size not pull funny when it’s backwards?
I’ve not seen this too much recently as I’m going through a divorce. I’ve seen it once or twice with pants, socks and shoes but that’s about it. She doesn’t like a lot of shoes because they are tight. I get that too because shoes are just made to fit the average. I have seen that she doesn’t like to sit in her car seat with her jacket, another sign of the disease, and if there is something on the back of her dress/shirt, like a bow, she doesn’t like sitting against that.
I’ll have to ask the ex what’s the name of this woman and disease and look into it. I can see it as a problem if it affected her life all the time, but it doesn’t. Hell I found the easiest way to calm my daughter down is to get her to breath slowly, something I’ve only learned in the last year or so. She calms right down. My ex doesn’t do this much, if at all.
So it seems my woo woo detector may be working properly after all.
Nava, I’m guessing she means pull on tops. I had to ask a couple of times and she said she sometimes wears them backwards until someone tells her. I can’t imagine wearing a button up top like that.
I am not a psychologist, counselor, etc., but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that perhaps the “disease” is something like Sensory Integration Disorder? Does that sound right? I’ve seen discussion of sensory-related issues in my parenting circles. From what I can gather, it’s not so much a disease as it is a disorder, or really just an “issue” for lack of a better term. When severe, it can require therapy and treatment, and it can also be a red flag for other potential problems, but in general it seems like most parents just find work-arounds and ways to deal with it, i.e. buying shirts with the care label printed directly on the fabric instead of having a tag, or avoiding wool, or whatever. I think it can also manifest in sensitivity to loud noises, etc. Again, I am totally not an expert here, I am just relating some chatter I’ve heard on parenting sites over the years.
I would definitely not pay $500 just for analysis of this particular issue, unless your kid is showing a bunch of other problematic symptoms that needed to be addressed, and it sounds like she’s not.
It might very well be, it sounds right, but I don’t fully remember. The counselor went more on the woman she knows and saying she would get the paperwork for it. I’ll have to look more into it and see.
I’m not the one who would pay the $500 and if the ex wants to do it then that’s her problem. I do however intend to look into this.
I can’t stand turtlenecks. Apart from that, I’m good.
I have a feeling that a lot of kids go through phases of being super-sensitive about things against their skin - I vaguely remember friends of mine having phases like that when we were little. Then they outgrew it.
As long as there’s a simple, easy way to keep it from interfering with everyday life, I wouldn’t see it as a serious problem. Widget (18 months old) threw a meltdown a couple of weeks ago because there was a tag in her mitten. I cut it off. This cost me a lot less than $500.
I used to feel that way about tags when I was younger and I’d ask my mom to cut them out. I don’t feel that way anymore now, so I think I’ve gotten better. I also have a thing about long sleeves. I’m OK with sweaters but my bottom layer can’t be long.
eclectic wench, I can see it being a phase. And of phases, it seems like one of the lesser ones, for sure.
DnD reference, the minimum Intelligence required to be able to talk. Less than that, you’re a stone. In many role playing games, Perception is directly linked to Intelligence. Either she’s lying or she’s as perceptive as my desk (or she only dresses in revival-size tents).
I won’t wear turtlenecks, either, or really anything close around my neck. I have long hair, so that helps keep my neck warm, and I will wear a scarf if I have to, but I hate that closed-up feeling around my throat - I feel as though I am being suffocated. Women wear those elegant tops with the huge necks and they just look so uncomfortable to me.