A clerk can say whatever they want, but it is nice to know that they actually use their own words instead of using a precise phrase, and that they will be penalized if they don’t use that phrase.
It doesn’t bother me at all. Well wishes of any kind are always appreciated.
I would say that christian nationalist ideology has been slowly creeping into christianity. However I do feel that Christianity has been slowly creeping out of mainstream America’s culture and discourse. Such things in the past i.e. ‘merry Christmas’ were so normal no one batted an eye or cared and just accepted it.
It is less a case of “Merry Christmas” being discouraged, and more a case of other greetings also being allowed.
I haven’t parsed the entire thread, but I don’t believe folk who prefer NOT to be offered blessings view it as a command. Instead, they view it as a - admittedly mild - injection of someone else’s belief system into their personal life.
I recall something I heard Christopher Hitchens say, about atheists having no expectations that we will convince believers to give up their “toy” which is religion. We do, however, prefer that they keep their make-believe to themselves.
And that is all I - and I think others - are saying. Those offering “blessings” prefer that phrasing. For whatever reason. Some of us would prefer that they choose some secular platitude. Not sure why some posters choose to characterize our position differently.
I’ve been one of the more vociferous antis here. Been away from the thread for awhile so lots of good stuff has been said by other on the anti side.
IMO the “it’s an innocent unthinking comment” excuse is exactly what’s so offensive about it.
100% of the last 20 years of DEI training, talk about microagressions, etc., has been about the fact that many people unconsciously engage in “othering” behavior. Usually not with conscious malice. Although some certainly are malicious. But ever single such incident serves to undermine their target’s belief that they are treated as equals and welcome despite their differences. And worst of all, the innocent comments serve to normalize the more malicious end of the spectrum.
One of the things taught in DEI is that it is not OK to sit idly by while something like that happens to you or anyone else. See something? Say something. Tell the people doing that, even if unconsciously, that what they are doing is hurtful and wrong and not socially acceptable.
America has been slowly becoming less religious in headcount while the surviving adherents have leaned increasingly in the fundy / evangelical direction and have gotten a LOT louder.
To me somebody saying “blessed day” in 2025 is exactly the same as some white person calling a black man “boy” in 1950. They didn’t mean anything by it, but that’s because they had their eyes screwed shut to the aggression they were performing.
I see it little different from finding myself in a very trumpy area and having somebody cheerily say “Have a MAGA day” as their sendoff. Strongly implying that in their worldview everyone agrees with that sentiment. No. Just no.
Ref somebody upthread, now is not the time to let this one go. Now is not the time to let MAGA go either. Now is the time to put this camels nose back out of our tent for good. Before it’s fully inside and we’re evicted instead.
It annoys the heck out of me. Moreover, I remember (and I acknowledge memory is very fallible, and I may be misremembering) that it absolutely did not start as an “unthinking comment” in my neck of the woods. It was specifically encouraged because religion was “being taken out of schools/governments/etc.” and this was a way people could insert religion all the time and not get called out on it.
Sort of? I don’t really encounter it outside of my SO’s best friend, saying it to others.
I’d be impressed that they’re high enough level (and well versed enough in the splat books) to metamagic a 1 round per level spell to a full day.
Isn’t it?
Probably nothing. If you really feel strongly about it, leave a note on a suggestion box, or a comment on their Yelp (restaurant owners often reply to these sorts of comments, but I don’t expect you’ll get a favorable reply if you complain that the cashier told you to have a great day).
That’s fine, but religious people might prefer that you and I use a religious expression, and you and I have a right to ignore that preference and do as we wish. And if we heard some religious person complaining - “can you believe they told me happy holidays, or even have a nice day, today, on the birthday of our Lord and Savior Jesùs H. Christ?” - we would be off put by this and think less of that person.
We all agree that saying “happy holidays” or nothing at all on Dec 24th is in fact acceptable and not, in fact, a devious blow in the War on Christmas.
The way I feel religious people should feel about secular greetings even at times of religious importance is how I feel about religious greetings directed towards my secular self.
And just as I’d be off put by a religious person complaining that a lack of sufficient display of religiosity is an attack on him, I’m a little off put by the assertion that aa somewhat religious themed greeting is an attack on atheists or non-Christians.
I think there is a valid distinction to be made between who is being active, and who passive. And the expectations imputed to each. The blesser is choosing to act in a certain way, when the blessed would prefer silence.
I think LSL is spot on in comparing to micro-aggressions. I have learned that various groups may interpret my words and actions differently than I intend them. While I may have varied thoughts about the “appropriateness” of such interpretations, I do not feel it my place to tell them they are wrong. Nor do I feel any strong urge to continue with my prior phrasing - no matter how innocuously I intended it. Instead, I do my best to change my phrasing and adopt an alternative - even if the alternative would not have been my first choice. I don’t have to say oriental, negro, ladies, trannies, whatever. So out of respect and a desire to be polite, I do not.
For those who say I ought not be mildly irritated by “blessings,” does the same apply to other groups who wish others to use certain phrasings and not others?
These are all examples of descriptions of groups other people belong to, where you are taking a word and applying it to them. The comparable situation would be a religious person referring to you as a “Heathen” or something because you aren’t religious. “Have a blessed day” is simply not comparable.
You choose to draw that distinction because it suits your position. That is fine. I instead consider them all utterances, and I favor - within reason - adjusting my utterances to avoid offending/troubling the recipients.
And folk take issue with utterances whether they are in the described group or not.
Alternatively, the offering of a blessing contains an implicit description of me as belonging to a group which finds religious terms meaningful or desirable.
I should likely bow out, as I’ve said all I have to say about this, and neither of us ought to believe anything more we can say will persuade - or even influence - the other. Is it offensive if I sign off with a hearty “God damn you to hell!”? 
(Intended ENTIRELY lightheartedly and in the context of this thread.)
All of this is predicated on the idea that there’s something malicious going on. What’s malicious or microaggressive about wishing someone a blessed day? I keep asking, and the responses all seem to be inferences that the person really means some other malicious thing.
What does this even mean? Make it a hill to die on like the people who get upset about others saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas?”
My approach to that is, you say Merry Christmas if you want, I’ll say Happy Holidays if I want. Either of us could make an issue of it, neither will win. It’s not a good use of anyone’s time, maybe we just accept that people have the right to express themselves in ways we might not approve of.
It’s true these are both things said without thinking, but that’s really as far as it goes. The malice of diminishing a man to a boy is very clear-cut and explainable to someone who never thought about it. I just can’t find malice in someone wishing a blessing on someone else, try as I might.
I think maybe there are really some dramatic regional differences in play here. I struggle to associate this with MAGA because I’ve never heard a white person say “have a blessed day.” If I did, it might make me pause and wonder if there was anything deeper behind it. But I can’t say for sure how I’d react, because in the 30+ years I’ve been hearing this phrase, I have never once heard it spoken by a white person or anyone I could associate with a MAGA mentality. I may have to let this conversation go at that.
This is stretching what anyone has said in this thread beyond imagination. So I have to wonder again what is driving you to do that.
I choose to draw that distinction because when people say “I don’t like it when you refer to me by X, I’d rather you refer to me by Y because it violated my group’s agency when outsiders decide what to call us” that’s an argument I find convincing and so I’m willing to take their side and argue likewise.
Likewise for words like “gypped” or “Jew’d” where I find the argument “you are taking a negative action and referring to it by the name of my ethnic group because of a stereotype associated with that group, which is offensive”. I find the argument persuasive so I’m willing to take that side and argue likewise.
When people say “I don’t like your greeting because it signals your religious background and I don’t like to be reminded of that”, I don’t find that to be a persuasive argument at all.
I do sometimes hear black people, almost always women, use the phrase. And like you, I would have to contort my thoughts a bunch to turn that into a hostile act. But those black ladies are few and far between in my experience.
So yeah, I think regional differences are heavily in play here. As are individual levels of sensitivity based on our personal regional history.
Like @Dinsdale I’m approaching the point where I’ve said my piece. I’m not trying to have the last word over my shoulder and flounce out. But I think we’re all close to comprehending the various POVs even if we don’t agree with those too different from our own.
You’re free to hold that opinion if you wish, and you’re free to read what I wrote if you wish to understand it.
That +1d4 has saved my bacon on more than one occasion.