I rent a servant. Huge bloke named Igor. Comes once a week and cleans the place up shiny.
He’s relatively inexpensive, and if you tried to make him stop coming to my house (or someone else from his company, although I’m partial to Igor) I’d cry for weeks. I really do not enjoy my housework, and I chose to help the economy by paying someone else to do it.
True servant? No. Maybe if we end up in India or something.
What about a home health care provider, like an LPN? I don’t think most of those would regard themselves as servants.
I have a robot who vacuums! That’s much more awesome than a servant.
Monkey Butler!
I have a retarded butler who can do complex math problems in his head.
I call him my idiot servant.
The world is my oyster.
When the baby starts crawling I’m considering making her an outfit out of Swiffer sheets* so I don’t have to sweep anymore. Does that count?
*I’m not actually considering it. Fantasizing perhaps but not actually considering it.
I have a yard guy that comes once a week to cut grass and do smal outside chores like cleaning gutters that I physically can’t take care of.
I wouldn’t call him my servant, tho.
Ditto.
I was going to say my children are my servants, and ought to be fired…then I realized that I’m the servant! Rats.
Heh. I actually did outfit my son and two of his friends in clean, thick white socks once and let them “skate” all over the hardwood floors. They had a blast, and I got shiny floors! 
I’ve always wondered how people can stand having people so intimately involved in their business. I don’t want some cleaning lady poking into my drawer full of sex lube or whatnot, looking for socks to fold…
Joe
I understand it helps when you don’t consider them fully human.
I have a friend who lives in my basement rent-free, but cleans my house once a week (kitchen, living room, bathroom). He also does the dishes. In the summer he trims the weeds and in the winter shovels the walk.
Not sure if this is a servant or just a lucky guy who gets off cheaply.
Qin Shi Huangdi, do you have servants? Has your family ever had servants? Do you want servants? Why are you interested in knowing whether other members of the board have servants? Why did you use the phrase “have servants” rather than “use a maid” or “pay for house cleaning” or “hire a nanny,” etc.? Are you interested in being someone’s servant?
I may have a list of additional questions after you finish answering these. Thanks in advance.
That’s great, haha. Now to finish, never return to this thread.
I taught my dog to get things on the floor that I point to. Well, actually, she mostly defaults to shoes. With persistance, and after collecting any nearby shoes, we do get to what I’m pointing at eventually. You might not be impressed, but I have arthritis in my knees and it’s great for getting shoes that have been kicked back behind my desk. And she gets all excited and pleased to be helping.
She can also close doors, althouth she’s a bit unclear on the concept of which direction the door is supposed to go. As with ‘go get it, bring it here’ we get there eventually. That’s as close to a servant as I get. It pleases me.
I have been informed that when one is in the position to employ servants, one understands that it is more proper to refer to them as staff. Although I may have been misinformed. And it was long enough ago that I don’t remember where the information came from. For all I know, it could have come from a detective novel with cats.
I would love to have servants - definitely a housecleaner, and maybe a cook. And a handyman on call. If I could afford to, I’d do it in a flash.
I do have a yard guy who mows and trims every other week or so. We didn’t use him for a few years and the yard looked awful despite our (and our kids’) efforts, so we relented and now the neighbors are happy again.
We had a housekeeper in Lisbon, and a “boy” in west Africa. Sounds racist, but over there it’s an accepted and honored job description. Abdramane Djidibe was his name, and he took care of the house and the yard. We also had an embassy-supplied gate guard. In Uganda we had a housekeeper and a gardener, along with the obligatory gate guard. Good money for all of them, not a lot of money for us, and a huge help for us DINKs.
I had a live-in nanny when my wife and I were both working from when our kid was 1 to 3 years old. She’s a relation of my wife’s, a woman in her late 50s. Sort of like a rent-a-grandmother. 
I was very nervous about having a relative of my wife who was a total stranger to me live in our house, who spoke not a word of English, but it worked out great - I’d have her back in a flash, if I needed a nanny again.
No, but I wish I did.