Do you have the right to be proud of anything

Sometimes I get the idea that everything I have/achieve is either a result of an inherited talent or a result of the circumstances I’ve been through; and so I don’t have the right to be proud about them. For example, I shouldn’t be proud of being handsome since I’ve nothing to do with shaping my face and I shouldn’t be proud of a painting of mine since I was born with a talent which in turn has been developed by my surrounding circumstances. I came to a point in which I was unable to identify myself. So, who exactly am I?

I am proud of myself even if someone else might say that I have no right to be.
Some talents are gifted to you at birth, but you nurture them yourself and decide how hard you want to work at improving your gifts and if you are brave enough to hold your work up for others to judge. Others might have more natural talent but never exerted themselves or displayed it.
But I don’t know who you are…

You have every right to be proud of the work that you do. Just don’t let it get to your head.

I believe I have the right to be proud of myself!
I’m an excellent wife, mother, daughter, sister, grand-daughter, friend, and a very responsible pet owner.
I do the best that I can do with my life, so I have the right to be proud, damnt!

Perhaps you are a tangled yarn of inherited talents and external circumstances.


I quit smoking.

I have started, operated, and now about to expand, an onsite computer repair service. Just recently scored maintenance gigs for local work at two nationally known franchises. Dozens of happy businesses and hundreds of happy home users later I am running like 60% repeats and referrals.

I’ve had that viewpoint for quite a while now. Things like looks, being naturally good at sports, arts, etc., or even attributes such as being kind or patient are not usually something to be proud of. Even working hard is not necessarily something to be proud of if you are one of those people who loves to work. Pleased about? Of course. But not proud. On the other hand, changing oneself for the better, whether stopping smoking like LouisB, becoming a bit less messy, more understanding, etc. is something one can be proud of.

But if you think like this as I do (I realize that most people don’t) then you’d better accept the corrolary: neither do you have anything to be ashamed about. You’re a slob and always have been? That’s not to be desired, but neither is it something to be ashamed of - it’s just the way you are. Does that mean you shouldn’t try to change? Obviously not. But neither should you beat yourself up. The only thing one should truly be ashamed of is doing something negative that is not in character. For example, a woman I passed on the sidewalk one day as I was leaving work suddenly turned to me angrily and asked what I had called her. As I had just been saying goodby to a colleague I had no idea what she was talking about. After backing and forthing it turned out she thought I had called her a bitch. Obviously she’d misinterpreted something I’d said to my colleague, but I didn’t back down and we parted with her feeling very upset and convinced that I was rude to her. I’m ashamed of this incident because it was not in character for me. I should have told her I was sorry if she misunderstood me and explained what had happened. However, another person who acted exactly as I did may have had cause to be proud - somebody who has little self-respect and lets people walk all over them. This time he or she stood up for him or herself and can be proud of that change.

It sounds like you are a handsome, artistic, insightful person. You can be happy and accept your attributes without being proud of them. If you feel that you need something proud of to define yourself, then do something to make yourself proud. Are you normally an assertive driver? Let somebody pull in front of you without being upset, and be proud. Do you feel you spend too much time watching television, surfing the internet or something else? Make a conscious effort to do it less for a couple of days and be proud. Are you an unadventurous eater (and not happy about that fact)? Try something new and be proud.

I am proud I am alive.

Being severely depressed for at least the last 20 of my 28 years of life the fact that I am still here is quite impressive.

I am proud of the fact that I am accepted that I need help.

I have gotten help with my problem before but I never accepted that I really needed help. I was always in the “I can beat this” camp. Now I am actively seeking help and I came through my own free will not because someone talked me into it.

I am proud that I saved money.

I have never been able to save money for something that I want. I have saved $1500 over the last 6 months while paying all my bills on time. BTW I am saving money for work on my Tattoo. A thread will be posted next week about that.

There are so many things for people to be proud of each and every day. You just have to look back and see what they are. This is even more important if you have depression issues , it is easy to get bogged down in what you are ashamed of.

I don’t know if objectivity is achievable in this life. If it were, you might be able to look at something you have done and say, accurately, “Considering what I had to work with, the ability I was born with, and the extent to which I have had to apply myself, that is a damned fine piece of work”. You could then admire it objectively just as you would admire the Sistine Chapel, and with exactly as much justification. The trick is, of course, to achieve that level of objectivity, and not merely be reaching for self-praise or the praise of others without having merited it.

I think pride is something you feel after working hard to achieve something. Even if you have a talent for painting, I’m assuming you still had to do some work, learn some techniques in order to reach the level you are at now.

I have a talent for music which enabled me to reach a certain level of playing the piano very quickly, but I also practiced a lot and worked hard on learning the theory.

Something like physical beauty, if you don’t have to work at it, is probably more something to feel grateful for, rather than proud of.

I think you have nailed it on the head, sandra_nz. Even though you have a natural ability for something, if you take the time and effort to perfect it and be the best you can be with it, you have every reason to be proud. If circumstances have put you into a situation that gives you an advantage to achieve something, you have every reason to be proud if you have taken the time and effort to make the best out of it.

It is through circumstance that I was able to find my current job. It was also through circumstance that I have been put into the position that I currently have in my job. I am very proud of my position and the work I do because I take the time and effort to do the best I can at my job.

How is that different? Isn’t your spirit, your willingness to change a result of the way you were brought up?

Yes, thinking like this, I became careless, I’m not ashamed of anything, I only show the people what they want to see to rest my mind and if they something they don’t like, I admit it and have no problems with that.

Partly. It’s also a result of the way you *chose * to react to the way you were brought up and the way you chose to deal with the plusses and minuses life gave you.

double post

Having the inate (spelin’?) ability to paint is meaningless if you don’t get off your arse to go and paint things. Just sitting around going “I could do that” would be nothing to be proud of but going out and doing things just might be. But then again you could say that the get-up-and-go is inherited too so I dunno.

I’m proud that I have taken care of myself since I was 28 years old. I never thought that was an accomplishment until I heard someone say that someone else had told her she could take a lesson from me. I just thought of it as “getting by.” I’ve been alone for 24 years and never thought much of it.

I’ve also kept a diary since I was eight years old. Every day. My life may not have been interesting, but it has sure as hell been chronicalled.

Maybe not, but you’re (presumably/hopefully) clean, well-groomed and in good physical condition, and select clothing and hairstyles that accentuate your appearance. Without those, no amount of natural genetic beauty is going to get you very far.

I thought so once but life has taught me otherwise.

At least twice in my life I did something, chose a path or action, which was very difficult and challenging for me, even painful, to make someone else’s life better.

I didn’t choose to do so because of how I was raised, quite the contrary. Nor was it innate, I struggled long and hard with both choices.

In both cases, I was surrounded by people who were willing to vindicate me for not taking the more difficult choice.

I am proud of both of those choices. And not just the choices but finding the fortitude to walk the walk.

Ever achieve anything no one thought (even you) was within your grasp? What’s not to be proud of? And what about people who start out in one position in life and manage to pull themselves up and find their way through to a better life. Definitely worthy of pride.

Ever choose to be respectful when you could have been snide? Ever performed a random act of kindness? Ever do someone a favour anonymously? All things to be proud of.

Pride doesn’t mean bragging on yourself and lording your good deeds over others. It’s not about over blown egos and swollen chests. It’s about giving yourself credit for that which you have accomplished. It is the balance to self recrimination when we screw up. And life is all about balance.