But in all fairness, not everyone is as smart as a chimp.
WestJet is famous for their amusing levity. And it works since most people will pay attention hoping to catch a joke.
Have seen more than one air newbie keep trying to lift from the forward end of the buckle, rather than the back. To be fair the style of buckle used in passenger airliners seems simpler and more mechanically straightforward than the spring-loaded type used in cars these days.
then there’s the line about the oxygen masks:
“If you’re travelling with someone who is weak and needs help, remember you can’t help someone else, if you are incapacitated yourself–So put your own oxygen mask on first, before you help your husband with his..”
“Do you mind sitting in the exit row and helping in the event of an emergency?”
- Not at all, would you mind telling the captain to avoid emergencies for the duration of the trip?
On my flight, they went with:
The bag may not inflate fully, but don’t worry. Ours will.
Strangely, my flight home was completely absent of humor. I was disappointed.
-D/a
Yes, I know how to unbuckle the seatbelt now.
No, I did not know how to unbuckle it the first time I flew on a plane.
Which is a valid theory. If they said, “people are really fucking stupid, we need to demonstrate this every time they fly.” I’d probably be fine with it. Personally I suspect most people fiddle with it a bit and then wait for the flight attendant to do her thing.
But then, if you consider just how stupid those people are, what’s to say they’ll remember 6 hours later when the plane is crashing onto an island in the south Pacific?
“Crap, they said something about lifting.”
“Or was it pushing?”
“Where is that call button?”
“What’s supposed to float? The back of my chair?”
I’ve seen this, too. If you are younger and/or have not flown before, the seat belt might not be completely obvious, even if you are used to using a seat belt in a car.
A local amusement park has buckles on the seat belts of their bumper cars which are like the ones on airplanes, and, every time I go, I see all kinds of kids have trouble with them. They also often try to hook them over their shoulders…not used to the concept of a lap-only belt at all.
I think undoing is harder than fastening (but only by a little bit), but the main reason they repeat the instructions every flight isn’t for your benefit. It’s to cover themselves legally, like all the warning signs out there (warning, HOT coffee is HOT; do not iron clothes while wearing them etc.)
Also: cape does not enable wearer to fly.
Because you never owned a 1964 Studebaker.
I know it, but doing the demonstration is a necessary piece of CYA. There was an Iberia flight which had a rough landing in sorry I can’t remember which Andean country a couple years ago; people with broken arms and sprained wrists were blaming Iberia and asking for government intervention… only it was shown very, very fast that none of the people who’d gotten hurt had been wearing their seatbelts as told to.
If the hosts hadn’t gone through the safety dance, the passengers would have been able to go on complaining.
I would like to know how to wear a seat belt in an aeroplane.
Recently I was on a plane landing at an airport where a typhoon (15) had just past. There were clearly strong gusts. The pilot told us that we may be redirected to another airport if we could not land. In other words it seemed likely that the pilot was going to attempt a landing in adverse, not to say dangerous conditions. What if the plane tipped and or span? All that would stand between me and being thrown around the cabin was a seat belt across my lower abdomen.
I stuffed both inflight magazines and two newspapers between my seat belt and my lower abdomen, as instructed on a Japanese television program. This is not something that I needed to be told. Clearly increasing the surface area of impact would reduce the risk of abdominal trauma.
But upon Googling now, I see that in fact one should aim to grip ones pelvis or thighs to reduce the risk of injury to internal organs.
“The belt should be worn snugly over the pelvis or upper thighs, thus
reducing the potential for injury of abdominal contents.”
In a crash I guess that my body position would move with respect to the seatbelt so next time I may do both (wear on my pelvis, and use whatever shock spreaders I have to hand). Any other tips? I wish that there were car type seat belts since in any crash my head would surely be bashed against the seat in front even though I get into the brace position.
We did not crash, and no one else seemed to take any precaution. The most time consuming part of my precautions was, by far, writing this post.
I now see that the advice, to belt ones pelvis or thighs not abdomen, is not included in the pre-flight safety instructions (at least according to the two videos I have just watched on YouTube).
And I find that car-type “lap shoulder belts” are not all that much better than lap belts according to the conclusion of this review (which suggests that injuries simply occur in a different area).
However, this review only assesses seat belt injury and not the trauma of having ones head bashed against the seat in front. I feel that even in a brace position, I would be bounced back and forth between my seat and the one in front like one of Newton’s balls, in an executive ball clicker.
I wonder if there is any way of tying my upper body to the seat in front using an inflight blanket!
Remember, while you are concocting ad hoc ways to restrain yourself in the seat, that if there is a post-crash fire and/or evacuation, you may not make it out since you’ve tied yourself to the seat. If you can’t self-rescue in a plane crash, you will very likely not survive the experience.
True, getting out should be taken into consideration. But then people make similar objections to car seat belts.
Perhaps putting my carry on luggage behind my back while in the brace position might reduce the whiplash distance, and not reduce my ability to get out.
We call them airplanes.
Hmm, seat belt instructions aside, I always thought the useful info was the exiting instructions, locations of slides, etc. I fly a lot, and still value being reminded to take note of where the nearest exit is. A tiny detail that could save my life, even though I’m clever enough to intuitively know how to work the seatbelt and the oxygen mask.
Most amusing is the safety instructions I’ve heard delivered on some Asian airlines. I know they are speaking English, and can even catch a word or phrase here or there. But having so often repeated it, and speaking at such a speed, their cadence seems to shift until it seems almost another language. I find it quite entrancing to be honest, so interesting whenever I hear it!
I always pay attention to the spiel just to be polite. It is worth noting where the emergency exits are and I always check the card in the seat pocket for the exits.
You know what else I don’t need to hear? That smoking is prohibited everywhere on the plane. Not only do they say exactly that, they reiterate it several times throughout the spiel.
“Smoking is prohibited.”
“Don’t smoke in the restroom.”
“Don’t tamper with the anti-smoking device in the restroom.”
Smoking hasn’t been allowed on flights for going on 30 years now. WE GET IT.