I went to the mall today. Stopped by the Jewelery store where I buy stuff about 4X / year.
Ann my favorite sales lady told me about her weekend and upcoming vacation plans, and mentioned that they got a TAG Monaco watch in and it was on sale. Pulled it out of the case for me to play with. As I was leaving, the manager of the store stopped helping the guy he was working with to greet me and ask how I was.
Then I stopped at the shoe store to ask a question about how my shoes were changing color (oiled leather getting dark in spots) The manager took my shoes got some shoe oil and worked on them while telling me about his son and his little league season.
When he was done, he gave me the brand new tube of shoe oil he had been using no charge.
These people made me feel like more than a customer, they made me feel like a friend.
The next time I need shoes or jewelry, do you want to guess where I will be headed?
I don’t like it. I’m a naturally friendly and polite person, and I hate being rude to people. Nevertheless, I don’t like wasting time, pretty much always have something on my mind that I’m thinking about, and really don’t consider most people very interesting. So, whenever I go to the same store/restaurant for a while, the following cycle ensues:
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Initially I am pleasantly anonymous, no one bothers me, and can buy my product / place my order in peace.
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Soon, the staff being to recognize me, and occasionally make small talk. Being polite, I respond in kind to their small talk, though never initiating it myself.
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As I continue to go there, the staff become more and more familiar with me, and our “small talk” conversations become more and more lengthy and involved.
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I get sick of having my work conversations or thoughts interrupted by an excruciating 10-minute conversation when all I want is to get my goddamn sandwich and get back to work (or whatever), and I stop going there.
This is quite different from places that I shop at only intermittently who remember me, what I bought, and my preferences (for instance, a hobby shop, car dealer, or whatever). That’s just excellent service, and I wish more businesses were like that. It’s the creeping, insipid small talk in places like coffee shops that I can’t stand.
I go to the few places where I’d qualify as a “regular” precisely because I’m a regular. The waitress at the diner knows what I like to eat, so I don’t feel bad for making special requests. The guy at the convenience store knows Airman likes Pepsi and Mountain Dew Throwback, so he tries to have a few bottles of each. These kinds of small favors keep me going there, as opposed to taking my business elsewhere.
Interesting question. I used to love it when the waiters at a favorite restaurant knew me, and it often happened that when I sat down at the table they led me to, a martini the way I like it was immediately placed in front of me. That was very cool. However, I have recently come to the conclusion that, over all, I would prefer not to get to know clerks, etc. all that well. Great if you are a true regular, but what if you have a change in lifestyle and don’t show up for months…then you are back and you are asked where you have been? I really don’t like feeling obligated to explain myself. What if they see me going into a competing business? Why should I have any feelings about that at all? (I know, I control whether I care, blahblahblah.) Another example (do I hear crickets?): I stayed at the same vacation property every 6 months. First, they greeted me by name–great. Then they asked a few questions about my life since they knew something about me…ok. But pretty soon I was arriving after a 9-hour drive, just wanted the key to my cottage and to go unwind, and I was invited into their kitchen, hugs all around, shown this and that…and I really just wanted my key. I quit going there for that reason. There’s a lot to be said for anonymity.
***Ahh, I see this is similar to what Absolute, above me, has to say…
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I can’t stand it either. I feel the same way as you do. I’m not outgoing either and i don’t like it when people draw attention to me. It’s embarrassing.
I enjoy it, but the Mexican restaurant that I frequent on a weekly basis doesn’t go overboard either. They know that I usually order ice water with my meal, and they know that I usually will get a Jr. Combo #9 with a ground beef taco and a steak quesadilla, both on flour, but they will always ask for my order anyways. What is nice is that they do recognize me when I come in and always greet me with a smile and a, “Hi there.”
I prefer to patronize local, and like being a regular.
My favorite convenience store when I still worked was a good example, mrAru and I commuted together, and always stopped in for coffee because they made the most amazingly good coffee [it was a case of proper proportion of grounds to filtered water, and scrupulous cleaning of the machine daily]
We were very disappointed when the family that owned it sold it =( the coffee quality tanked.
I like it. But usually, we are remembered because we order/buy something that is a bit different than everyone else.
At the liquor store I used to use, before it was sold, the owner knew that my SO and I liked to try new stuff, and they would make suggestions of things we should try. They also started stocking a couple of wines, because we liked them, and would have a case special ordered.
There’s a caribbean food restaurant that we have gone to occasionally for the last 10 years. The owner will come out of the kitchen and chat for a while, bring us a sample of the newest sauce he made, give us a clipping of an herb he is growing. He remembers us because my SO and 2 friends order their food so hot it makes me cringe.
The people at Target remember me! I hate that. I just like going to Target. I sometimes buy clothes or cat treats, but most of the time I walk around for exercise.
I chose yes, but the only places I’m a regular are the restaurant/bar downstairs from my office and the convenience store around the corner where I buy my smokes.
My cigarette order is unlikely to change (short of quitting), and it is nice to have my drink waiting for me by the time I get to a seat after a long day at work.
I’m a regular at the local cafe. ‘Grandma’ there always puts up a big fuss when I walk in. The owner always comes over and shakes my hand and we chit chat. I’m usually there for take out for the whole family and usually it’s the same old order, so when I change it up there is a lot of jovial hoopla and joshing. Makes for a fun morning.
I’m also a regular at the ThunderCloud Sub shop across the street from where I work. Sometimes the folks that work there stay around long enough to start to recognize me and my order but not often. The owner smiles and waves but that is about it.
I’ve never always ordered the same thing at a place. I like a wide variety of things and my taste differs daily. There were only a couple of places where I ever started being recognized, which were a burger king drive thru and a wendy’s drive thru. I stopped going both places after I got recognized, because the people were really weird about it, and it made me uncomfortable. At burger king, the drive thru chick kept trying to hook me up with this guy who worked there, which was weird and intrusive when I just wanted to get some lunch. She didn’t even know if I was straight or single… bizarre. So I started going to the mcdonald’s down the street instead. Then one time, after the huge Chicago blizzard this year, I went through the wendy’s drive-thru in the evening wearing a robe and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket (in case I broke down, because the roads were still shitty and it was cold, but I didn’t have any food in the house). Every time I went back after that, the manager never lost a chance to laugh that I would drive my car while wearing a robe and blanket. But it wasn’t the cool conspiratorial kind of laugh, frankly it seemed dickish. Like in the middle of a warm sunny April day, “Hey, you’re not wearing your robe today! What’s up with that??”
I wouldn’t mind being recognized as a regular, but not when people are stupid or awkward about it. Hasn’t happened yet.
I stop at a little cafe in the subway station 2-3 mornings a week for a breakfast sandwich and after the first couple times the lovely woman behind the counter just confirms with me before starting to make it.
It actually reduces the amount we talk because she doesn’t have to ask every morning if I want salt and pepper, tomato, mayo etc. and she makes it perfectly every time.
ETA: I voted yes it makes me feel welcome.
There’s a place in my hometown where I used to go about weekly for breakfast - they’d see me walk in and pour me coffee, and would just confirm my usual order (whatever the special omelette of the day was, biscuit, jam) before putting it in. That was great. I haven’t lived there or gone in regularly in several years, but they still recognize me and spend a minute or two catching up. That I like just fine.
Then again, there was a time when I worked nights and the gang tended to go to a different place for breakfast after work at 6 or 7 AM. It got kind of weird to walk in and have the waitress count heads and start pouring glasses of beer before we even made it to the table, minutes after it became legal to sell alcohol. We got some weird looks in that place, and I liked being a regular in that situation somewhat less.
The only place I care to be considered ‘regular’ is at my local comic shop, where I can count on them to put aside the comics I keep up with when I can’t come pick them up at release. Otherwise, I kind of find it bothersome, especially since I don’t always feel like talking to people.
For awhile I stopped regularly going to Subway for lunch (there’s an outlet at my workplace) because of staffers who would 1) anticipate my order, and 2) get pouty and weird if I ordered something different (I did not by any stretch get the same thing every day).
It’s nice to be remembered and get good service, but not good if remembering you is treated as a special accomplishment which requires certain behavior on your part.
There is a very authentic Asian food place here in Edmonton (Double Greeting Wonton House) that I have been going to for years. The staff all know me (I am caucasian)well enough to know that I am very alergic to shrimp, that I always order the steamed rice roll as an appy, and have actually gone out of their way to congratulate me on my grandaughter when I brought her in.
Two stories:
- The establishment is an a very shady part of town. I once was renovating a rental property and went there for lunch. My wallet, I discovered, when the bill was presented was in my coveralls, back at the suite. They laughed and said, get it to us next time! (I returned a few hours later with the money and a BIG tip).
- For more than 15 yrs, there has been a certain amount of "cach`e " in taking a date, or out of town friend into a VERY asian place (often we were the only non asians in there) and being greeted by name, with a hand shake, and a smile. Sort of a low budget “James Bond at monte carlo” sort of panache there.
I said “meh” only because I like being recognized, but I don’t like having my order presumed. At my favorite indie coffee place, they remember that I drink herbal tea. So by the time I’m at the front of the line the basket of teas is pushed forward for me to pick my flavor for the day, but nothing irrevocable is done. I can handle that.
I must have a doppleganger who frequents the Dunkin’ Donuts where I go maybe once a month. The woman there always says “Hi, hon, medium light with Splenda, right?” I don’t know who she thinks I am, but no. Twice she’s been pouring the coffee before I could say no. I can live without that.
Having “regular” status at a local pub, in Britain and Ireland anyway (don’t know enough about anywhere else) can be very useful in all sorts of ways, way beyond the bar staff knowing what drinks you are likely to order. It can be a useful and supportive social network that is not tied to family or business.