We’re going on a cruise in October, and I was reading the guidelines for the dining room: Casual: Sport shirts and slacks for men, sundresses or pants for women
Smart Casual: Jackets and ties for men, dresses or pantsuits for women
Formal: Suits and ties or tuxedos for men, cocktail dresses for women
This will be our third cruise on Royal Caribbean. My husband no longer owns a suit, let along a tux, and I have never in my life owned a cocktail dress. We’ve not been denied seating on Formal Nights with him in slacks and a button-down shirt and me in slacks and a nice blouse. I’m assuming that formal nights are excuses for those who like getting all gussied up once in a while. It’s also a big night for the ship’s photographers and portrait studio…
My dad was always very active in the Knights of Columbus - being a council officer and a state officer - so he and Mom went to all sorts of dances over the years. I remember dreaming of the day I could wear a long dress and fancy shoes and sparkly jewelry. But when I reached adulthood, the couple of occasions when I could dress up were more to be dreaded than anything. When one of my sisters got married, I had to borrow an appropriate outfit to wear. And when my dad died, I had to go buy clothes for the viewing and the funeral, and that definitely doesn’t call for formal wear.
My husband and I are not fancy-dress people. I never learned the girly stuff like make-up and accessorizing and walking in high heels. I don’t like hose and I’m just uncomfortable in dresses. And he still owned a powder blue polyester leisure suit when we got married - 'nuff said. Frankly, the only reason we’ll pack a nice outfit for “Formal Night” is because in the past, that’s when they’ve served lobster, and I will make an effort for lobster.
Which brings me back to my original question: Do you like getting all dressed up? If so, what is it about fancy attire that you enjoy? And if not, why not?
Really doesn’t do anything for me. I tend to generally run warm, and getting dressed up just means extra layers and undesired warmth for me. I am someone who will wear shorts even when the weather is in the 30s, and shorts and a t-shirt are definitely my preferred gear.
However, I do have to occasionally wear a suit to work, and I don’t consider it to be some kind of huge deal. And it can be nice in the sense that people definitely perceive me differently even in the change from normal business casual to a suit. But it would still never be my choice to dress up.
As for tuxedos, I’ve only worn one twice in my life. Once for a wedding, and once for a cruise. I haven’t had any strong craving to repeat that.
I just don’t feel *comfortable *in that level of fancy dress.
Partly it’s just never making it a priority, so like the OP I don’t know how to navigate all the fancy accessorizing and stuff. So I wind up in clothes I’m not used to, wondering if they look like they’re supposed to, and lack confidence in my appearance which I’m sure comes through.
When my best friend got married not only was she a tomboy wanting to dress up for that one day, she realized the entire female side of the wedding party was all tomboys, too. So she did something really smart - she hired some help. We had our hair and make-up professionally done. As a result we looked good and felt good.
(Don’t ask about what happened to the shoes though - UGH!)
So… presuming I was invited to accept a Nobel Prize or something equally important and calling for Full Formal Dress (unlikely, but it could happen by some freak circumstance) I would probably hire someone to help me choose a dress, get it fitted properly, find me some shoes I can at least get on my feet (I have double E extra-wide feet - very hard to find heels for that), get my hair done, and so forth.
Short of that - meh, not a priority for me. Or for the spouse. Which works out nicely.
I hate dressing up. I’m straight and married but pretty butch in my style of dress, so I avoid any occasions where I’d be required to wear anything more feminine than a nice blazer and dressy pants. If I were a guy (or could get away with wearing a suit or a tux) I’d probably love dressing up.
I would enjoy dresssing up once in a while if I had the body for it. Suits just don’t look that good on me. If I could afford a custom tailor I would go that route for special occassions.
I worked in Japan for a long time and they are really big into formal dress. I had a formal black attire which can be worn with a white tie for weddings and a black tie for funerals.
I wore suits at work for decades so that doesn’t bother me.
Now, I mostly wear tee-shirts, shorts and sandals. That’s fine as well.
I am a super butch (but straight) female and I generally look like shit on any given day, so when I have to dress up (usually for weddings) I look and feel amazing and pretty much enjoy it. It helps to have good sources for places I can go to buy a dress and shoes that flatter me.
Makeup has always been a struggle for me and I finally decided that I just don’t know how to do it and also cannot see well enough to put it on, so the last wedding I went to I had a friend come over and paint me up. She was pleased and I was pleased and it took that last bit of stress out of getting dressed up.
Hate it. It’s a struggle for my wife to get me into a sport coat for the rare dinner event at the museum, and I absolutely refuse to wear a tie or, god forbid, the one suit I own. “Dressed up” for me is a long-sleeved pullover and khakis.
Well, on the whole I like it. I like getting gussied up and looking really good. I love the idea of it.
As a practical matter, though, I always seem to end the evening wearing my husband’s jacket over my sleeveless, backless silk dress, because I am freezing. Many such evenings have caused me to resent the whole thing.
I know I should be tougher. But my arms are turning blue!
If it’s warm enough for me, in my cocktail attire, then the men (and let’s face it, some of the women as well) are going to be sweating and uncomfortable. But I am rarely the only woman draped in her escort’s jacket.
I will do it for big deal occasions but I no longer look forward to it. Life is compromise.
Nope. I don’t mind putting on a jacket. The rest is too much trouble. Add traveling in and then I have to pack a lot more stuff. Never did understand it.
The idea that a woman has to be half-naked in order to be “dressed up” is a pernicious myth. There are umpteen million beautiful dresses that provide adequate coverage.
I have a pearl colored dinner jacket for formal nights on cruises. I usually wear a bow tie or a long tie with a novelty pattern for the casual evenings. I look spiffing.
I like the event as a whole. Getting dressed up, going to a high end restaurant and spending $200 on a meal for two. Fun stuff!
My GF likes seeing me dressed up but unfortunately, she doesn’t like the idea of spending the sort of money on a single meal (Even if I am the one paying). So I don’t get to do that any more. Except around the holidays when I’m with out of town family members.
I do enjoy dressing up occasionally. I have some nice inherited jewelry that is far too fussy for everyday use, but when I gussy up, it looks right. It is fun to put it on and feel special.
What I hate is doing my hair. I am rotten at it, so I always have to make a salon appointment.
I own a tux, and wear it at least once a year in my chorus concerts (the other concerts are more casual). I own a suit which I haven’t worn in over 11 years. I did enjoy wearing it, because I have a nice collection of ties, some of which were hand-made by my parents (they were artists).
I’ve never been on a cruise, and wouldn’t go on one that required me to dress up for dinner. When I travel, it’s strictly shorts and t-shirts.
