Do you not SEE the no soliciting sign on the door?

A few months ago, my co-worker and I got sick of the solicitors walking in the door of our office constantly. We’d get at least 2-3 a week and it became mildly annoying. So we decided to take it one step further and get a 'No Soliciting" sign for the door. It’s been up for three months.

Since then, we’ve had the same number of solicitors. We just had another one. Granted, this one was really nice and friendly, but we STILL didn’t particularly want her in the office. And because both of us are chickenshit and just too nice, we don’t point out the sign and we listen to their spiels.

I think we’re going to take it a step further and put a “Solicitors will be fined $100” on the door. We might as well make a little extra money while we’re here.

Oh, yeah, since this is the Pit - fuck!

Ava

Why not add “Violators Will Be Procescuted” to the sign? Maybe that will deter them.

Prosecuted with what?

A baseball bat.

Prosecuted with a foot up their ass.

Prosecuted with a day-old trout!!!

I know, I know, I have to get a new schtick…

Better yet, “Trespassers will be violated.”

Gee, I don’t know. Do you have to put that on the sign too?

Maybe trespassing?

“Tresspassers will be folded, spindled, and mutilated.”

I’m not sure that going into a business, during working hours, through the door, even if you are trying to sell something can be counted as tresspassing.

Any lawyer dopers know? (Well, I’m sure they all know, but are any of them will to share their info is the real question.)

I’ve thought about putting something up about an enema and a cattle prod, but that might attract more unsavory people.

Ava

You could try a more technical approach. Your sign you might read:

“Due to new Department of Homeland Security regulations, all solicitors will be strip searched, fingerprinted, anally probed and DNA profiled. Once you have been throughtly screened, you will be permitted to enter this office and make your sales pitch. Please contact our Security Officer to schedule your proceedure.”

IANAL and don’t have the facts on this, but I thought that was why (to the best of my recollection) businesses couldn’t put their numbers on the do-not-call list. That basically it’s part of their existence to deal with sellers as well as trying to sell stuff/provide services.

A 1920’s Style Death Ray

A 1920’s Style Death Trout!!

Ok, ok, I’ll quit with the trout comments.

Solicitors will be POOPED ON!

We run a retail store (complete with ‘No Solicitors’ signage) and have had similar problems. We have found a solution that seems to be nearly 100% effective:

Solicitor: “Blah, blah, blah…”

Me: “May I see your permit?”

Solicitor: “I don’t need a permit.”

Me: “Well, maybe not, but I’m pretty sure you do, let’s call down to city hall and find out…”

Solicitor: {vanishes}

:smiley:

“Tresspassers will be fondled, coated with grease and given aromatherapy treatments.”

cuauhtemoc, that actually sounds pretty good…

IA also NAL but it seems to me that once you ask someone to leave the premises, and they don’t, it becomes tresspassing at that point. (This is how they can forbid you from coming in barefoot - ask you to leave “at the discretion of the management” - and if you don’t, you’re breaking the law for tresspassing, not for coming in barefoot.)

Which may not allow you to stop them coming in, but it allows you to kick them right out again …