Shoot both Ramirezs.
Ah, but what if Ramirez, completed his task outside and came back in?
If he’s been back in longer than his suit can support life, than the outside Ramirez must be the imposter.
If it has not been long enough yet, leave the one outside there until such time as he should be running out of oxygen an watch what happens.
If Ramirez has not been outside recently, well, leave the airlock closed.
You refer to “all your crew”, from which I infer that this wessel is not occupied by me and Ramirez and no one else.
Inside Ramirez and I will both go OUT the airlock together to discuss this with Outside Ramirez. The people remaining inside are instructed to monitor our conversation and to be wary because something highly peculiar and potentially dangerous as well as potentially very exciting is taking place.
(post shortened)
Ahem, ClickHole is a satirical website from The Onion. No astronauts were injured in the creation of those quotes.
The hell you say!
= “Hold my beer & watch this.”
Another day aboard the Earth Space Forces star carrier USS Donald Trump.
Ramirez?
This is just some lame analogy about illegal immigration where you want me to show my true colors so you can use it against me later.
I’m not playing that game.
I say keep the airlock shut. We can talk, and see if I can be convinced to open it. But while I’m not sure what’s going on, things are staying right where they are.
OK what if the inside Ramirez is male and the outside one is female. Do you open the airlock or not?
Which one did we train/launch with? More importantly, how hot is she?
Mr. Chekov? Is that you?
Get the airlock, willya?
If the alien is sinister, its objective is certainly to get back to Earth so that it can reproduce/take over the world/whatever. If that was the alien’s objective, he would have somehow disposed of the real Ramirez so as to not arouse suspicion, as mission control would never allow a potentially species-threatening alien to return to the surface. Maybe the alien accidentally killed a different crew member, so I take a head count.
But that’s unlikely. I must assume that the alien does not wish to return to Earth, because even a dumb alien would be able to determine that at this point he’s not going to be able to just fly back down to Earth where he can walk out of the ship and do what he pleases. Either the alien wants to eat only a *few *people or he’s lonely and wants to hang. Given that the alien has not eaten a few people, and he’s still desperately trying to convince everyone that he is not an alien, we have
- The alien is outside and wants to be your friend.
- The alien is outside and wants to eat you.
- [del]The alien is outside and wants to destroy Earth.[/del]
- The alien is inside and wants to be your friend.
- [del]The alien is inside and wants to eat you.[/del]
- [del]The alien is inside and wants to destroy Earth.[/del]
At the end, we know that the being inside is our friend, but the status of the being outside is questionable. I should not open the airlock.
HAH! That’s fair.
Quite right.
There is only room enough for one Ramirez on this ship.
I’m with BattlePope.
How come I don’t know whether Ramirez ever went outside on a repair mission, to begin with?
I seal myself in the airlock, because I’m clearly losing my mind.
The one inside is clearly an impostor. If the being outside is not Ramirez, why would it choose the most incomprehensibly suspicious possible avenue of introduction? It would be much more likely to gain quick entry just by saying, “I’ve been drifting … I’m hurt and need help … I’ll tell you all about it after I’m in.”
If an alien can get its spacecraft so close without being detected, and then look exactly like my friend and sound like him, there is no way I’m going to be anything but really friendly and let it in. Otherwise it’s game over, man, game over!
This, without the Tang.