I always go by my first name. “Mr. (Last Name) was my uncle.”
Ms. or Dr. and my surname, depending on context, or my unadorned first name. I’m not Mrs. Anybody, and I’m not Ms. susan.
If an adult is senior to me in age (I’m in my 60’s) and if I’m not personally close to them I will address them as Mister, Missus or Ms. More often than not they will correct me and say “Oh, call me Bill, or Jane” or whatever their Christian name is. I AM pleased and flattered when I’m referred to as Mister Chow, but Iike them, I say “Please, Just call me Dog.”
I addressed my aunts and uncles by prefacing with “aunt” or “uncle.” Even well into my 60s. As did all my cousins. It’s a form of respect. I’ve noticed my grandson doesn’t refer to his uncle using the honorific when addressing my son. I’m guessing it’s an old timey thing. Or maybe my son took him aside and said “you can just call me by my first name.”
Growing up, we also referred to close friends of our parents as aunt or uncle too. If any other them were alive today, I think I’d choke if I tried to use their first name in conversation.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the Southern tradition of children referring to their elders as Miss or Mister and then the first name. Mister Richard, Miss Angela, etc.
I’ll use Doctor when in a hospital or medical setting. Otherwise, screw them. They’ve already got a God complex. I am totally at sea when trying to figure out what to call a PA (physician’s assistant), I just stammer my way through something.
I used to call Priests or Ministers “Father.” Now I just ignore them. I never did know how to address a woman priest. It made my brain seize.
I called a Sheriff “officer” recently when pulled over for speeding (doing 42 in a 35). And felt like a goddamn idiot doing so. But was mildly shook. Otherwise in a social setting see ‘Doctor’ listed above.
What about you, Mister Homie? – you never said how you handle it.
That I get.
Use to bug me that my doctor’s office called out first names when they wanted you to come to the examination room from the waiting area.
Then I realised it was a privacy protection. Nobody in the waiting room got your last name, which is of more use for identity theft, etc.
I’m friendly with the family of a very large, very rich pro athlete. I know his father much better than him. The last time I saw him and he called me Mr Loach it felt weird.
At work I would call everyone sir or ma’am. I don’t work anymore.
In my private life just about anyone I would call Mr or Mrs Lastname are dead now. They were my parents friends or my friend’s parents. If I ran into an old teacher I would probably still call them Mr or Mrs but that’s not likely.
I manage to go through life without calling my in-laws anything.
Well, rhey know you’re Mighty so they don’t want to get on your wrong side.
I don’t expect anyone, children or others, to call me anything other than my first name or, preferably, my nickname. My BFF’s children all call me “Homie.”
Yeara ago I coached the chess team at an area elementary school.* As I wasn’t a teacher there, I was just a friend of the friend of the principal and a volunteer, I just asked the kids to call me by my first name, which they all did.
One year, a parent got somewhat upset by this. She and her family were new to the Midwest and wasn’t used to our informal ways, I guess. She was borderline appalled tht at I let the children call me by my first name. Where she was from (Mid Atlantic), that is Not Done. I could see her inwardly cringing every time her son called me Aaron.
*I am by no means good at chess. The job was basically to be a warm body in the room and, at tournaments, make sure the kids were where they needed to be.
I’m a teacher. All of the adults in the building address and refer to each other by first names, or occasionally nicknames (with the occasional last name only when needed for disambiguation), even the administrators… when we’re among each other. In the presence of students, however, we all try to use Mr. / Mrs. / Ms. / Dr.
My sister used to work as a medical receptionist, and she says she called the men mr. Last name, but she was afraid of getting the wing honorific for a woman who cared, so she called them by first name. I told her that would make me livid. But that’s more likely why they do it.
Also, my first name is more useful for identity theft. I know that’s unusual, but I’m not unique that way.
My non-physician colleagues will use Doc when addressing me directly, and Dr. Lastname when speaking to others. That’s typical for other physicians as well, not just me. Among other physicians, we usually refer to each other just as Lastname, such as “Garcia is on call this weekend”, “Patel is going on vacation next month”, or “Jones has a busy day tomorrow”. Among the non-medical people I know (which isn’t very many), I go by my first name.
Very true but I honestly would not be fussed if they called me by my first name. Maybe if it was a super posh hotel I might expect the formality a bit more.
My niece and nephews almost never call me uncle and, for reasons I never figured out, address their parents by their first names too.
I was kinda bummed by that cuz I wanted to be “uncle” but that ship sailed long ago. So much so that, once in a rare while, they will call me “uncle” and it seems odd to me.
When growing up I had a friend whose parents wanted me to call them by their first names. That really bent my 8-year-old mind. Adults just HAD to me Mr/Mrs/Miss! But I also should do as they ask. As a result I started to find ways to not call them by name.
All anecdotal though. YMMV.
At my first job, in a supermarket, I specifically remember having an assistant manager whose name, literally, was Mr. Bosserman. And that’s what everyone called him, including me. I was a teenager at the time. (This was in Indiana.)
In every other job, I’ve always called my coworkers and bosses by their first name. Though informally, I would also call my bosses “boss”. It was a term of endearment.
Good point. And Welcome!
I used to be called “Mister(my real first name)” by casual acquaintances, semi-formal but friendly. I kinda liked that.
You’re in luck! There are no female priests. Problem solved! 
If you mean a protestant officiant then minister or pastor [insert last name] works fine for both men and women (reverend I think works too). When in doubt, just ask them. I can’t imagine they would take any offense. Probably get that question a lot.
In Jewish temples men and women are both rabbis.
I am not sure about other religions (Muslims being the obvious other big one in the room). Again, if in doubt, just ask. Done respectfully I would be surprised if it bothered anyone. I’d think they would be happy you asked.
Welcome to the SDMB! I think you will like it here.
Ahem, there certainly are women priests:
… Female Anglican priests are called Reverend or Mother, and they have been ordained since 1994 in the Church of England, after the General Synod voted to approve the practice in 1992. This change was controversial but is now widely practiced throughout the Anglican Communion..
[google’s AI]
And Episcopalian as well:
… Female Episcopal priests are called “Reverend” or “Mother,” and they serve in various roles within the Episcopal Church, such as curates, chaplains, and parish priests. The first 11 women were ordained in an “irregular” ceremony in 1974, and their ordination was officially approved by the national church in 1976. The first female Presiding Bishop of the U.S. Episcopal Church was Katharine Jefferts Schori, elected in 2006…
[same source]
Good catch. I will grant Anglicans have priests and some of them are women. But after that it just seems anyone can call themselves anything they want.
priest
/prēst/
noun
noun: priest; plural noun: priests
1.
an ordained minister of the Catholic, Orthodox, or Anglican Church having the authority to perform certain rites and administer certain sacraments.
I mean, I could start the Cult of Whack-a-Mole and call our officiants priests if I wanted to.
I would think my Episcopalian priest would be somewhat take aback (to say the least) if anyone called her Mother as an official title
Broadly, for this thread, I would always default to the honorific or respectful address to someone I just met. Let them tell me if they prefer something less formal (which is usually the case).
Of course, depends on the situation too. Back yard BBQ at a friend’s house or a state dinner at the Buckingham Palace?
One of the things that made me very happy that we chose our condo, is that the entire complex is on a first name basis. At that time, it was considered very unusal. I know people who have lived in same condo building for decades and are still using Frau/Herr (Ms.*/Mr.) for people in the same building.
When I go to the doctor, dentist, etc., I am Frau Capacitrix, and the doctors, receptionists, nurses are Frau/Herr. That’s the way it is. The nurse will tell me that Frau Doctorname or Herr Doctorname will be with me shortly.
I have called the CEO of my large company by his first name. That’s how the company is. Not all companies are like that.
But I’m in Switzerland, and the local languages use both formal and informal forms of address.
- = Fraulein was used for unmarried women of any age. This is considered old fashioned and now Fraulein tends to be used only for 16 year old girls or even younger.
The first time I can recall encountering anyone who was not my personal physician expect to be called ‘doctor’ was a childhood friend’s father. I was very young and would not have dreamed to defy him, but I secretly thought it was weird. My friend and her brother also had to call him "sir’.
When I worked for a large financial company, the story is that the founder wanted everyone’s id to be printed with their first name in larger font than their last, to encourage people to call one another by their first name. I don’t know if that’s true, but I worked in a dept. that he was very involved with and we all called him " Tom". It was awkward at first but he seemed to prefer it.
Personally, I don’t give much thought to what people call me, or if they spell or pronounce my name correctly (they usually don’t). I generally call people what they prefer, if I know it, but in my heart I feel it’s all a bunch of nonsense.