This question regards adults, mostly. Obviously in some cultures it’s expected that children address other adults as “Mr. Lastname” or “Mrs. Firstname",” depending on the context. I’m asking about adults. Do you expect other adults to call you “Mr. This” or “Mrs. That”? Do you know any other adults who expect this from other adults?
It’s pretty universal to be called “Mr/Ms Lastname” when being addressed by a hotel clerk or similar customer service worker who has reason to know and use your name. It also happens with admin staff and some nursing staff at medical practices.
That kind of stuff is probably more prevalent in bigger cities than smaller towns and more prevalent at expensive / pretentious places than modest / informal ones.
Good bet that in the corporate world, plenty of upper level management expects to be addressed as “Mr/Ms Lastname” by all the lesser mortals in their corporation.
People expecting to be addressed socially by friends and neighbors as “Mr. / Ms. Lastname”? My, how 1800s of you. No, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered that in the wild.
I did encounter an retired, now elderly, resident at my condo who liked to be referred to as “Dr. Lastname” rather than “Bob”. Turns out he was a retired history professor of no great significance who was very proud of his PhD. Most everyone else just rolled their eyes and played along.
But he’s sorta the exception that proves the rule for me.
At my local cannabis dispensary, you have to show ID to get through the front door, and then again at the Point of Sale. They always say “thank you, Aaron” after I pay. A couple of weeks ago, for shits & giggles, the clerk said "thank you, Aaron,” and I looked at her and said “Mr. [MyLastName].” She looked confused until I told her I was joking.
I know adults. Some, my junior who will always be Mr. or Mrs. So and So. (I’m thinking my kids former teachers and maybe my banker)
Kinda like my doc will always be Doctor???. No matter what I mutter under my breath.
People call me Miss Suntan, like Miss Pamela. I am a miss. I would not mind if they called me Lotion either.
Socially, like friends and neighbors and acquaintances - no, I don’t know anyone who expects that. Other adults - I don’t really care if the staff at the doctor’s office called me by my first name ( I’d probably prefer it to “Miss Doreen” which is what I often get) or customer service workers. At my job - well, my job had some weird name conventions. People equal to or below me in the hierarchy usually addressed me by last name alone although sometimes there was a title ( either “Ms” or my job title in front). From my level up , we generally used first names with each other. Outside my agency, it was title and last name for everyone unless there was a close, long-term working relationship .For example, my assignment for three years involved two other state agencies - my peers and I were on a first-name basis.
I’ve been a lesser mortal in a number of large businesses and have had contact with senior management (CEOs, CFOs, CHROs, CMOs) on a very regular basis (often daily). No one in my entire working history has expected me to refer to them as Mr/Ms anything. Going on 35 years in the corporate world. Tech companies, retailers, L&D companies and telecoms firms. I will occasionally get an email addressing me as Dear Mr. Mouse, but it is only from outsourced support personnel in India or Malaysia.
And during the time I have been a consultant I’ve been exposed to even more companies. Never saw it there either.
About 7 years ago, I spent 6 months working for a small company (about 10 people). The owner/manager expected us to all call each other “Mr. Xxxx” or “Ms/Mrs XXX”, to the point that I did not even know some of my co-workers first names.
Not the weirdest policy he had either…thus my brief stint.
The only time I hear this kind of address at work is during court proceedings.
By my students, yeah, I expect to be addressed as “Dr. Porpentine” (but please not “Mrs.”) I’d be fine with my first name if it were the culture on my campus for students to address professors that way, but it’s not. (Actually, a lot of the time staff address faculty as “Dr. So-and-so,” which always makes me a little uncomfortable, but other than signing e-mails with my first name I’m not sure what to do about it.)
Otherwise, no.
In some situations, the clergy and religious school faculty address one another that way. We decided at one point that we needed to do it in front of the kids, if we are going to insist that they do it, and so we keep it up in private space during school or other work times, just to stay in the habit.
When parents come to talk about their kids, they get called Mr./Ms./Mrs. Soandso. They get a little weirded out by it the first time they hear it, but they have heard their kids come home and talk about Mr. or Ms. Teacher (we tried using Moreh/Morah for the teachers, but it didn’t work out), and you almost hear the > click < as they get it.
Not me. I’m 55 and I don’t think I’ve ever been professionally referred to as Mr nor have I called someone Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms. Same goes for friends of our kids.
It happens occasionally in a medical situation, but certainly not by my insistence.
Same. I’ve mostly been in insurance, benefits consulting, and before that i worked in a medical lab.
No. I expect to be addressed as Ms.
“Mr.”, “Mrs.” or “Ms.”, or honorifics in general, are not really part of my culture. They exist, but they’re very rarely used.
Same. I’m “Mr Piper” in court. Meet the same judge on the street the next day and it’s “Hi, Northern, how are you?”
Each year, some of the new articling students start with “Mr Piper” . I break them of that pretty quickly.
Haven’t known anyone like that since I left the Navy 22 years ago.
I really prefer to be addressed as Dr. Drake by:
- strangers who have my name (employees at airlines, banks, utilities, etc.)
- students
- friends’ children
- anyone who insists on a last name themselves (my doctor, in his professional capacity)
I insist on this 0% of the time, though, because it’s clear that the culture has changed. Sometimes a call centre employee will ask, and I say I prefer last name; I tell my students I prefer the last name but that they can do what they feel most comfortable with, and more than half call me “McGillicuddy” instead of “Dr. Drake.”
It isn’t so much about the Dr. vs Mr., but I do really like not being implied insta-besties with every random human I encounter.
It’s a big thing in my wife’s culture (afro Caribbean). Specifically a kid can’t call a grown up “full mouth”, as in using just their first name without a handle like Mr, Miss or Aunty. Though it also applies if the “kid” in question is a fully grown adult and they are speaking to an older generation
Personally I don’t care. Though it bugs me when someone I haven’t told my name to reads it off something like a credit card receipt and uses it. Though doing that with my last name and Mr doesn’t bug me significantly less.
Very interesting. I have similar experiences.
A few days ago I happened upon one of the senior judges at a local convenience store and we had a brief chat.
He asked when I was retiring and I asked him the same.
Seems like we’re both a little stuck at the end of our careers lol!