When I was single and to get ready for a date, I used to use a small mosquito clamp (think “hemostats” which a surgeon uses,) to stick up my nostrils and jerk out any protuberant nasal hair so it wouldn’t whistle or wave in the wind when I spoke, and sometimes the occasional booger would get clamped in between.
Those things are also sometimes used by dopers (the real ones) to hold a “roach” (*not * a real one).
The pain, to quote Stephen King, was exquisite, and I’d tear up and sneeze for about ten minutes. However, back in those days, I wasn’t making a lot money working at my hospital only as needed, and I wasn’t gonna fork out money for one of those battery-operated thingies, when I could just borrow a set of 'stats.
Ultimately, after D and re-married, I did buy one of those and started using it, once at the family dinner table (with a napkin spread out on it of course), which the kids and Dads thought was hilarious, and the wives… well, they liked to have puked, so I only got to do it that one Easter.
Other times, in private, I’d just close one nostril and forcefully blow through the other, and then vise versa. Trying not to hit somebody standing nearby, of course.
One day, while riding my bicycle on the Silver Comet Trail, I had a small bug fly up in there, so I did that maneuver I just described? Suddenly, I heard a harmonious girlish “ewwwww!” from behind me.
“It was a Bug!!!”, I ejaculated, but I don’t think they believed me, as they hurried around.
Bet y’all didn’t think I’d go into that much detail, did ya?
Thanks for reading this.
Quasi