Do you really think we'd still hire you after this?

[CanvasShoes]

Okay, so…

I posted a request for resumes on the job search engine online State of Alaska.

Job posting described what we needed regarding an environmental technician.

I get several excellent prospects back by email. And one doofus. He sends me a resume outlining all his experience driving different types of trucks. (Yes, part of our “preferences” WERE that we’d like someone with a hazmat CDL).

I thank him for his interest and politely and diplomatically let him know that if we need a truck driver we will call him, but that right the only position(s) for which we are hiring are for the environmental tech for which we advertised on the state page.

He emails back and asks me to send him a description of the requirements for an environmental tech!!!

ACK!!!

Um, okay, I’m trying to be calm here. THAT would be posted on the state employment webpage FROM WHICH YOU EMAILED ME YOUR RESUME!!!

urk!!! Okay I feel better.

(Now, knowing MY boss, he WOULD hire this guy, he’s a total softie and pushover for doofy underdogs.)

[BMalion]

*Originally posted by CanvasShoes *
**(Now, knowing MY boss, he WOULD hire this guy, he’s a total softie and pushover for doofy underdogs.) **

So when do I start?

[Ethilrist]

So, CanvasShoes, how’d you get your job?

[CanvasShoes]

*Originally posted by Ethilrist *
**So, CanvasShoes, how’d you get your job?
**

Well GEE eth. I submitted a resume that actually MATCHED the qualifications for which my company was searching!!!

I know you’re kidding, and I’m not really ranting as an “I’m all p.o’d” rant, more as a completely perplexed “he cannot POSSIBLY not get this” exclamation of disbelief.

[UncleBeer]

Now, knowing MY boss, he WOULD hire this guy, he’s a total softie and pushover for doofy underdogs.

Is this why he hired you?

[UncleBeer]

Never mind. I type way to slowly to be making obvious jokes like that. I should probably know better.

[CRorex]

This reminds me of a post doc who now works in a lab down the hall from me.

Their initial inquiry into the post doc position was, “I like monkeys, can I work with monkeys?”

The response was rather confused.

He followed up with by listing the 60 or so publications he has coauthored.

And the fact that he can give ticks enemas.

Yes TICKS!

Occasionally they explode

[Akatsukami]

Ironically, CanvasShoes, I got an e-mail (no, not a spam; it referenced my resume) offering me a job as a truck driver.

FWIW, my resume describes my twenty-five years experience as an IT contractor.

Perhaps I should forward that e-mail to your applicant?

(FTR, I am completely unqualified to be an environmental technician.)

[CanvasShoes]

*Originally posted by Akatsukami *
**Ironically, CanvasShoes, I got an e-mail (no, not a spam; it referenced my resume) offering me a job as a truck driver.

FWIW, my resume describes my twenty-five years experience as an IT contractor.

Perhaps I should forward that e-mail to your applicant?

(FTR, I am completely unqualified to be an environmental technician.) **

LOL, strangely enough some of the other websites on which we’ve requested resume searches we occasionally get really strange returns. Like IT people when what we asked for was a geologist!

But this is likely a matter of that particular website’s search engine “glitching”.

The truck driver applied through a different application A state of Alaska webpage where the applicants look up jobs and then directly email their resumes to the prospective employers.

I just went and read the request for the enviro-tech, and sure enough the requirements for the job are clearly listed.

[C_K_Dexter_Haven]

<< Job posting described what we needed regarding an environmental technician. >>

At the university where I work parttime, “environmental technician” is the job title for the position that we used to call janitor.

[CanvasShoes]

*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven *
**<< Job posting described what we needed regarding an environmental technician. >>

At the university where I work parttime, “environmental technician” is the job title for the position that we used to call janitor. **

OH, lol, BUT… did the Job Requirements section require that you be an expert in CFR 40 and 49 regulatory gunk? hehe

[Rilchiam]

*Originally posted by CRorex *
**
And the fact that he can give ticks enemas.

Yes TICKS!**

Why? I mean, for what purpose?

[friedo]

Well, shit, we already send dogs to psychiatrists, I just figured tick enemas were the next logical step.

[AncientHumanoid]

*Originally posted by CRorex *
**

Occasionally they explode **

Pics?

[This one sentence was the high point of my entire day. Sad, isn’t it?]

[Booker57]

What happens when they don’t explode?

[Polycarp]

Look, if a tick is bound up, he needs an enema or he will explode!

I suspect your truck driver applicant is one of the people with “it can’t hurt to try” syndrome.

OH, lol, BUT… did the Job Requirements section require that you be an expert in CFR 40 and 49 regulatory gunk? hehe

Yeah – you dispose of CFR volumes in “recyclable paper” just like any other publication.

[Angel_of_the_Lord]

I get the same thing from the websites I’ve frequented whilst job-hunting. Occasionally, one of them’ll send me an offer for something like retail management or military service.

FTR, I’m an English major whose description says that she’s looking for a job creating stuff (well, I put it a bit more eloquently than that), and who is currently looking for an internship.

In other words, thanks but no thanks. And read my damned resume.

[CRorex]

*Originally posted by Rilchiam *
**Why? I mean, for what purpose? **

Lyme Disease.

Best way to infect ticks with it is rectally. Best way to do that is with enemas.

So he’s giving the ticks lyme disease enemas.

[Anaximenes]

*Originally posted by CRorex *
**
So he’s giving the ticks lyme disease enemas. **

Now, I think this requires a "WHY?"

[AncientHumanoid]

*Originally posted by Anaximenes *
**Now, I think this requires a “WHY?” **

'Bout time someone got back at them little bastards!