For example, if you grew up really poor and now you’re at least middle class, are there any habits, views, mentalities, expectations, etc. you have that reflects your humble upbringing? What do you think of people who “don’t remember where they came from”?
You can replace poor to wealthy with wealthy to poor, atheist to christian (or vice versa), being hated to being well-liked (or vice versa), living in a neighborhood with your own race to living in a neighborhood with people of a different racial background (or vice versa), or anything thing else you can think of.
Okay, not that Albany, NY is all that big or exciting, but it’s a far cry from where I’m from, which is a tiny town 4 hours north. When I say ‘tiny’, I mean 300 people, one diner, one gas station/convenience store, one traffic light which was only a caution light.
So, even though I’m well acclimated to a more urban setting, I still remember where I came from. I still feel like the little hick girl from the boonies, sometimes.
At the same time though, when I visit my hometown, I get very impatient with the laid-back way people drive. They don’t seem to have anywhere important to be…ever. Last weekend, when I visited, I kept locking my car door when I stopped at a store. My mother thought I was being paranoid. This is a woman who, while riding with me through downtown Troy, said “Oh this is a lovely area”. ( :eek: , for any of you who’ve been to Troy, NY). Before moving to a city, I would sometimes leave the car running at a store. No one up there locks their houses when they’re gone. I would have an anxiety attack if I forgot to lock my door here!
Actually, Northern NY is a nice place to live and raise kids. I wish I could move back there, but I’d never find a job making what I make now. Oh well.
Does that answer your question or was I just rambling?
I remember growing up with enough, though not a lot. I try to apply it to my life, but other things intrude, like some of the fanatical grubbing and disinterest to deal with financial situations apply.
That is, I’ll buy stuff mostly on sale to keep the bills down, but I also buy too many little “things” for people. Or things “just because”. I have in my possession a dozen used golf balls (I don’t golf) as a reminder and nudge about out of control spending/buying.
I’ll make a lot of foods when I can. Aside from not being a fan of pre-processed stuff, it’s cheaper and can be fun. Not always easy though. I’d love to be able to garden somewhat, as I remember gardening with mom before life got too busy for that, but it doesn’t look as though I’ll be able to. So I’ll just buy as fresh as I can and look for farmers markets.
I remember “friday nights with mom” or “saturday afternoons with dad” or “this sort of outing with the folks” that my parents did a lot of. Not dragging us to movies every weekend, but going to art fairs, music performances, bookstores … I hope to be able to do that with my children and spouse.
I miss being able to buy milk from the dairy down the yard. I don’t miss having to feed the animals and collect eggs and clean pens, (not that I did a lot of it before, like the garden, the ROI wasn’t worth it) but I miss the ability to get things that fresh.
I was raised socially Catholic, and most would consider me an athiest (but I AM the big G, dammit!) but I try to maintain the good bits of Christianity that the schools taught us (even when they most decidely didn’t practice it) of service, assistance, kindness, etc.
My family was regular middle-class until I was about 11 years old. My dad worked for a big-time company and began to make a lot of money. We ended up moving to a snooty, house-on-the-hill neighborhood and people at school began to tease me about being a rich kid. I had no clue. By high school I realized that we actually were a “rich” family, but my dad certainly remembered where he came from and we were not like the other families in our neighborhood. One thing I realized after several years was that money does not equal happiness, and in some cases can only take it away. Once I went to college, I began to have to pay my own way, except for tuition and housing while I was in school. I had to pay for everything else myself, including summer housing. When I graduated, I received nothing more from my parents. I always used to say “I’m not rich, my dad is, and he doesn’t exactly share it all with me.” But the funny thing is, I have no drive whatsoever to have a lot of money, a fancy car, a big house with a view. I appreciate all those things, and won’t say that I wouldn’t enjoy them, they just aren’t that important to me. I’ve already been there, and I know for a fact that there are other things much more important to me in life. Like being happy in my job. Having friends. Marrying someone I love and who loves me and who I can be happy with. Understanding my children. In other words, all the things my parents didn’t have.
But isn’t that the nature of children? To want to be different from your parents?
Actually I grew up in an area where we were relatively well off. However almost everyone back then remembered the “Great Depression” plus “rationing” during WWII and yes I still find it hard to spend money on some items. My biggest hangup is bottled water, when you can just go to the faucet and get it almost free.
I was born and raised middle class (or lower middle class) and I’m still middle class. (Don’t think I’m lower middle class.) I carry a lot of tendencies and terms from my childhood in Southern California. Always lock your door (including car doors) no matter what. Always more paranoid about crime/stuff getting stolen. That isn’t quite so emphasized here in Hooterville. While I know my driving habits are more relaxed here in Hooterville, I still drive like a Californian. (Not afraid of freeways, not afraid of U-Turns, I understand the concept of merging onto the freeway, and so forth.) Not to say I’m necessarily a “better” driver than anyone else, but many people I’ve met think that the freeway around here is really rough (they’ve never driven on the 405) and the idea of merging is . . . non-existent here.
Certain terms I use/don’t use are typical for California and not Hooterville. I don’t see that changing. For instance, people around here call drinks like Pepsi and Coke “pop,” and I’ve always thought that this was the worst, most lame thing to call soft drinks. That’s right, soft drinks. I’ll never stop calling them soft drinks.
Also, an interesting wrinkle in my background is the emphasis of English heritage. My grandfather came from England. (He died before I was born.) My dad, who visited the relatives a few times in England and was very attached to his dad (the one from England), tried to keep scraps of our English heritage alive. I don’t see it, but friends and other family members have told me that certain ways I pronounce some things, certain other priorities in our family’s lives is because of this emphasis on England. It’s true—we did keep in touch with the cousins in England regularly (gifts, cards, telegrams, and regular visits from vacationing English relatives). So perhaps a tiny bit of “England” rubbed off on me.
Although my family was never above middle-class, I grew up in one of the country’s famously old-money neighborhoods, and I certainly “remember where I came from.” I was raised to be a snob, and I still am one–though one must be clear that “snobbery” simply means having high standards and not wishing to compromise them. It has nothing to do with racism or bigotry, and good manners were alawys stressed in my upbringing.
Very much so, even though I’m only about 500 miles removed geographically from where I was raised. Like kniz, probably the biggest influence was being reared among folks who lived through the Great Depression and WWII. The ingrained frugality has stuck with me. Make it, use it up, make do or do without.
FWIW both of my parents grew up poor and hard. Both of ‘em remembered living in farmhouses with kerosene lights, well pumps and outhouses. (I remember the dubious joys of chamber pots in my grandparents’ house.)
For all the sniping about midwestern hicks, their ethic of hard work and education paid off. They both ended up very financially secure, well employed, cultured and well travelled. That’s stuck with me. I minimize debt, consider carefully before I buy, buy quality and make things last.
I’m right out of their mold in being skeptical about showiness and the emphasis on generosity. It’s the money’s-just-a-tool thing. It’s just as bad to be greedy or stingy as it is to be shiftless.
I still have the greatest affection and respect for hardworking people, because IME they’re both the most grounded and the most generous. Still very farming/mining midwestern at the core after all these years.
I grew up suburban middle-class and I’m still suburban middle-class so in that respect, I don’t have to remember much.
One thing that has carried over is that my parents thought it was an absolute sin to throw out anything until it absolutely couldn’t be fixed anymore. It’s almost physically painful when something like a VCR or CD player breaks and it costs more to fix than to buy a new one.