My husband and I make an effort to eat at the dining table with no TV. It would be really weird to do that if neither of us talked. So, when we eat at the dining room we talk. And while we have a really good time doing that, sometimes we just want to slouch on the couch while we eat. When we do that, we generally only talk during commercials.
We both try really hard to eat at the dining table on a regular basis. Both of us tend to eat too much if we’re in front of the TV - we just mindlessly stuff ourselves until our plates are empty, even if we’ve already reached the point of being full. We’re less likely to do that at the table.
Dinner each night is a family event. Among the rules: no reading or singing during dinner, no elbows on the table, napkin in your lap. If the conversation impinges on a factoid – say, about Roman emperors or something – and it’s in dispute, someone is allowed to pull the book off the shelf to look it up. Don’t talk with your mouth full, but do talk. I ask each of the kids in turn about their day and, if my husband is present, him also. Conversation on any general interest topic is encouraged, with happenings at school and current events feature often. Certain topics are verboten, mostly: vomit, poo, pee, and teeth stories (I hate teeth). At the beginning of the meal, we have a collection of prayers that we use, and we rotate which kid reads the prayer or else says one from heart.
Dinner in front of the TV is a fairly rare event at our house – maybe twice a month, maximum. Occasional Saturday lunches are taken in front of the tube, too. We don’t have a TV in our dining room/library, so it’s no big.
I can’t imagine our eating silently. My two daughters are hyper-verbal; I think they’d explode if we tried to eat without talking. When they turn teenager, that could change, I suppose!
I grew up with family meals - it would never have even occured to me to bring a book to the table, and I used to try and ride a bicycle and read at the same time. Should I ever have a family, that’s what I’d want. Meals, to me, are communal - and it’s for talking to your family. No TV, no books.
Now, though, I live alone, “dinner” is not a given (not that I don’t eat. I just kind of graze in the evenings) and no, I don’t talk to myself during dinner.
When I was growing up, we all ate together in the kitchen. I think If I tried to bring a book or whatever to the table, Mom would have chucked it into the oven. She definitely would not have abided phones at the tables - she didn’t even answer the (rotary dial and bolted to the wall) phone if it rang during dinner. Fortunately, most people in the area had similar thoughts and wouldn’t dream of calling someone during dinner time.
There have been times where I’ll be at a restaurant, and there’s a table of people all silently staring into their phones. It’s very weird. Is the skill of polite conversation dying away?
When I was a kid, we talked through meals. When our kids were young, mealtimes were a highlight of the day, when everyone discussed all manner of things. Now that it is mostly just my wife and me, we still use meals as times of conversations (other than breakfast, when we are likely to be reading the paper.)
We eat all food at the dinette table (the formal dining room is for holidays and special occasions), with no phones or books or TVs allowed. It’s a chance to hear how each others’ day went, and what’s coming up, either in personal lives or in the news. Never a TV tray, never in front of a screen.
However if I’m alone, I’ll probably be in front of a TV for the “conversation”.
i used to talk during meals until i lived with my depression era grandparents …grandpa was in the navy and he worked from 2-11 pm so to him it was gulp gobble and go for an ordinary weeknight dinner …so when he retired and found out how chatty everyone during dinner … it bugged him so he got us in the habit of eating faster
but nowadays everyone here says "why don’t you have a dinner table and to me the house is so tiny and im not the neatest eater anyways so there’s not much use to eat at a table anymore …
When I was head of household, the rules were the same as when I was a child. Family at dining table, punctually at 6:00. No radio/tv. No books. If the phone rang, an adult answered, and if for a child, call back later after being excused from the table. This was the time for whatever needed to be talked about within the family.
Nowadays, from my observation, everyone talks during meals, all to different people on phone, all eatind different delivered food, all in different rooms.
Dinner is a great meal in part because we talk. We talk about the food. Last night I grilled these weird steaks wrapped in bacon that she bought at Aldis, thinking they were filet mignon. Turns out they are “chuck”, punched out of the muscle so that they look like filets. I served them with zucchini fritters and a cucumber-tomato salad, so we talked about the friends who gave me the garden harvest.
We talked about her work day and mine. We talked to and about Rocco (our African Grey) who eats most dinners with us. We talked about her new phone and how much she likes it.
When the food was gone and I’d cleared the plates, we finished the bottle of wine over further conversation.
Sharing a meal goes deep into human evolution. It’s a social activity and closely tied to maintaining social networks. It’s why when we meet up with people, food or drink is almost always involved in some way. So, it’s about way way more than just taking in calories necessary to stay alive.
I can understand if people settle into situations in which they want to read or whatever. What I don’t get is people who actually object to conversation. That seems so anti-social.
Considering that the OP hasn’t posted in over 14 years, I’d say that zombies definitely don’t talk when eating, other than the occasional grunt.
Our evening mealtime is definitely for discussing our day, what’s going on with each of us, coming up, etc. If I didn’t want to talk to my wife and kids, shit, I might as well leave.
I was wondering why I saw a completely inaccurate (to my current situation) reply from me until I checked the year and realized that this thread is older than my eldest child, who is now a teenager.
For what it’s worth, family dinner is a thing at least 4-5 times a week for us. It’s one of the few times all of us have when we actively focus on not doing something else, no one is on a screen for school or work, everyone comes together, sits down and talks about the day, no TV, books or other devices permitted. That said, during the pandemic each day is pretty similar with the exception of socially-distanced sports.
Wheel is on during dinner, but we don’t watch it, rather we DVR it and watch it later. No commercials.
We always talk during dinner, now it’s just the two of us but also when the kids were still at home.
Reading while eating is great, but only when I’m alone.
If it’s just the two of use we’ll be watching TV during dinner. If something good is on we might eat silently, usually not though. We probably average about 1/2 talk and 1/2 TV.
If others are eating with us then we don’t put on the TV, and we talk. Otherwise there’s no point in eating together.
Growing up, reading at the dinner table was forbidden. Later when I had kids and we were five, it was also forbidden and we talked. After the two older ones went off to college, we relaxed it a bit, but basically discouraged reading at dinner. Now we are down to 2, it is a little harder. We read the paper at breakfast and mostly talk at dinner. I don’t recall having the TV during dinner, although it might have happened once or twice during the World Series or something. Now I would record it anyway to skip the commercials.
Considering I live alone, no, I do not talk during dinner. However, when I am dining with other people, I expect a lively flow of conversation. Growing up, television and reading were not allowed during dinner (although I grew up in the dark ages–60s and 70s). Conversation was expected.