Yea, this pings my BS meter. It’s so unkind that the woman can’t bear to repeat it yet her response to the sales lady is “there’s nothing wrong with my daughter”. She said something so unrepeatable that mama didn’t complain to management and get the woman fired? Something isn’t right.
Not everyone thinks this is bad thing.
It looks like both the mom and daughter were happy with the dress and were prepared to buy it. If the sale was going to be a sure thing, the employee didn’t really stand to gain anything from suggesting Spanx. Sometimes people don’t know when to stop when they are ahead, unfortunately. Likely she was totally well-meaning, but she misread her customers.
I’m reminded of when I went wedding dress shopping with my sisters. First store we went to was David’s. I tried on a few sleeveless trumpet dresses and hated all of them on me. My small chest combined with my broad shoulders refuse to work with that style. But if my attitude had been more positive and I liked those dresses? It would’ve been my sisters’ job to give me the frank truth. Not the saleswoman. I personally would not take too kindly to a stranger’s suggestion that I get some padding for my bosom or whatever, if I’m totally happy with the dress as is.
Am I the only person whose first (and probably not correct) thought was the saleslady was trying to get the family to buy more, thus earn more on commission? Sort of a clothing equivalent to “do you want fries with that?”
And, NO, I don’t think spanx should be a normal part of dressing up. If you want to, fine, but I do not think they should ever be deemed essential or your clothing be deemed inappropriate without them. Probably part of that is my age - as with another, pantyhose were being abandoned when I was in college. Spanx weren’t a thing in our lives. Another is that I’ve frequently heard they are very uncomfortable. I’ve also read a bit about them being unhealthy in the long-term, and they shouldn’t be worn more than 4 hours at a time (certainly not all day, every day), but (again, knowing little about shapewear), my impression was there are various “stages” to shapewear, with some being more severe than others.
Not at all - she looks really pretty. It helps that the dress is in my favorite color, so I’m biased, but the dress obviously fits well. There’s really nothing to improve upon. Plus, she’s 13 for Pete’s sake. At that age, I was insecure enough about being lumpy (I was large breasted even then); being told I should stuff myself into a body shapers would’ve made me feel even more insecure.
In this case, a good saleswoman would know that fries means these lovely shoes that would complement the color of the dress so well, or this phenomenally expensive silk scarf that is to die for, or these gorgeous earrings that would draw attention to your lovely neckline, etc.
There’s an infinite variety of fries when it comes to female formal wear. Any of the above would likely add more to the bill that some Spanx.
She looks so happy, why would you say anything negative? But Spanx will wipe the smile off her face, I guarantee that. She can have mine, I’m not doing that to myself anymore.
I take the mom’s story with a grain of salt. I’ve just seen way to many faux outrage stories people have created for facebook fishing for sympathy or attention or who knows what. Only later when someone actually digs into the story behind the story do they find it was fabricated.
Nobody “needs” spandex girdles. I’m not a woman, but is this something people actually say to each other? “You need to force yourself into a purposefully tiny tube in order to suppress your unsightly body parts”?
The girl is pretty, and I think the dress looks nice on her. But there’s no doubt she’s fairly heavyset for a 13 year old girl. I still think it’s dumb to suggest a girdle for a child. Might as well ask if she needs diabetic socks and a glass of prune juice, too.
If the girl was like “do you think I need spandex?” or “what do you suggest about taming this belly?”, then the saleswoman would have been perfectly justified in suggesting a rubber sausage casing.
On the other hand, the saleswoman is probably a minimum-wage and minimally-trained minion who has exactly zero expertise in fabric, fit, or garments in general. So I don’t blame her too much, I blame her employer for hiring unskilled people in an attempt to save money.
Altering the garment to fit is the correct course of action here (assuming the girl wanted the dress and wanted it to fit correctly). But only something like 8% of people have ever used a tailor in their lives. I doubt either the salesperson, the mom or the kid ever realized altering an off-the-rack dress was something you could even do. It is that foreign of a concept to most people.
To illustrate, there’s a popular meme going around that says something like “you know you’re a short girl when all your pants are too long and you walk on them until the ends fray off”. It drives me insane! It takes ten bucks to get your pants hemmed or ten minutes to learn to do it yourself. This should not be an insurmountable problem! But as I said, most people think tailors are like coopers or blacksmiths – an ancient and mysterious trade that doesn’t exist anymore.
I don’t think anybody requires spanx, or any other foundation; but there’s no denying that a foundation garment can make a dress look a lot better on almost anyone.
Basically I wouldn’t have a problem with a saleslady saying to me DIPLOMATICALLY, that the dress would look nicer with a foundation under it to smooth the look, if I was interested in trying one. NOT including any personal remarks about fat.
However, I also think we don’t know if the saleslady actually was insulting. Could be the mom is dramatizing.
That definitely could explain why the saleswoman made the suggestion, but I doubt this was on the forefront of her mind. I think it’s more likely she saw the girl in the dress and unthinkingly went into fix-it mode. Some people are a bit uninhibited when correcting perceived fashion flaws in others; it goes hand in hand with calling strangers “sweetie” and touching them affectionately, like Effie in Hunger Games.
Suggesting spanx would be okay if the daughter was on the fence about the dress and expressed concerns about how it fit around the middle. “We could put you in an undergarment that would help the dress hang better by contouring your shape. Wanna try that?”
You can keep the figure you have and just smooth it out some. I would never force myself into a girdle either, but if I wore certain fabrics I’d wear control-top stockings and a slip. I’d still be the big size I am but I’d look more put together.
Or what she said 
I have a similar figure, and I would definitely put some shapewear under that dress. That said, the salesperson should have kept her big mouth shut.
I can only imagine the piece of work this mother is…
By the way, that dress does not “fit” well.
A sales lady’s job is to make the customer look as good as possible. That girl either needs Spanx or a larger size dress.
Nobody needs Spanx.
“Does this dress make me look fat?”
“No, no, of course not. Your fat makes you look fat.”
She’s 13, so she isn’t a young woman. What possible good can it accomplish to be discussing a thirteen year old’s body type? The whole concept of this thread is messed up.
For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t consider an adult woman who looked like that to be fat or in need of a ‘foundation garment’ as it were, but that’s not the main problem here.
Surely you’ve heard this very commonly used vernacular term describing adolescents before. Of course, we are biologically adults by around age 11-13, and during the period between that and modern, legal adulthood, it’s not at all unusual to use the terms “young man” or “young woman” to describe someone.
Let’s review. The girl’s mother posted an open letter to Facebook, presumably including that photo (although I’m not positive about the photo). She was contacted by news media about the story and cooperated with the reporters. And now we’re here discussing it.