Do you track your kids?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I have a son who is ten years old. I know that he is probably old enough to go out and ride his bike around the neighborhood, or go play with his friend who lives a couple of streets over, without anything dreadful happening to him, but I really have a hard time letting him go off unsupervised.

When I was a kid I’d ride out on my bike and be gone all day without my mom knowing where I was, and it was fine. But I really get knots in my stomach when the boy is somewhere and I can’t check on him. I’m toying with the idea of getting him something for Christmas which will allow him a little more freedom.

The obvious choice is a cell phone, but I’m sure there are other options I’m not thinking of. Can you suggest anything? I’ve tried putting him on a really really long leash, but he didn’t like it. :wink:

2

You could try one of those high-functioning pagers that allows him to send & receive minimal text messages, or get him a prepaid cell phone for about $7 a month, unless he loses it, at which point the cost per month goes up a bit.

My wife gave our daughter (age 16 at the time) a cell phone for christmas last year specifically so she could call in when her plans changed or she went from one person’s house to another. It’s working out pretty well so far and she’s only lost it once.

3

I would have loved to been able to track my kids when they were ten.
So many worries, a few legitimate, would have been spared me.

4

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And their specific services re: childrenThe Wherifone is the world’s smallest GPS cell phone for children, and it provides affordable peace-of-mind to the modern mobile family.

What makes Wherifone different is that parents control who their child can call, and they can locate their child with a built-in global positioning capability — state-of-the-art GPS. You can quickly and precisely find a Wherifone via Web or phone access, and see its location on a street map or an aerial photo. You can also see where the phone has been throughout the day, and program for periodic updates. While it won’t work everywhere, the unique Aided-GPS locator technology built into the phone lets it be located in lightly obstructed areas, such as many types of wood frame buildings and vehicles, and under dense foliage.

The cell phone features of Wherifone are designed to be kid safe and simple to use. The phone’s three top level one-touch dial buttons let your child reach key numbers quickly, while a 20-number phone book gives them access to additional important phone numbers. There is also an “SOS” panic button for emergencies. This makes the Wherifone easy to use while cutting down on unwanted calling expenses.

Since parents manage who their child calls, and the Wherifone doesn’t permit downloading games or sending text message to friends, you’ll never worry about expensive calls to odd numbers, or huge “surprise” phone bills.

5

I simply had my son call me every couple hours to check in. He most certainly would have lost or broken a cell phone (not that they were much of an option in '86) because he was the rough-and-tumble type. If he didn’t call, or if he called later than when he was told to, he was grounded. It worked out well for us.

6

Cool! And not too expensive…

7

Normal feelings. Try having two tomboy daughters. :stuck_out_tongue:

I am surprised my mom and dad are still alive considering all the times I was late for dinner.

“I was out playing with John and Richard in the river below the dam.”
“We rode our bikes over to the dump, then we decided to visit Sam and then we rode over to Mr. Pucker’s to eat some smoked catfish and then we played football.”
“We just went swimming and snorkeling for 8 hours. It was great. What? You called the sheriff because you thought we were drowned?”

Go for the cell. He’ll feel cool, and you’ll both know everybody is only a phone call away.

8

I can’t believe a GPS chastity belt with Taser and air horn isn’t available yet. Not enough parents in new product development I reckon.

9

Girl, you’re so old school with your talk about cell phones… Step into the 21st century and show him you care by having a GPS transmitter surgically implanted in him! :smiley:

Just general observations, but we didn’t track our kids in any ways like that. We always insisted on knowing where they were going. Still do, tho they are aged 15-19. Like to a friend’s house, we would want to know the name of the friend - and if a parent would be home. And if they changed their mind and went somewhere else, they were to call us and let us know. And they knew that if we ever tried to get in touch with them and they weren’t where they said they’d be, they’d catch holy hell.

But if they wanted to have a friend come over and go bike riding, for a walk, or to the park for hours on end, we’d say “Go ahead” and just discuss when they needed to be back by. Didn’t require that they bring a cellphone with them.

I guess they could have been going to crackhouses instead of the park, but we chose not to worry about that and to trust our kids. And we told the kids any specific boundaries given their age at the time (i.e. don’t cross a certain busy street.) I mean, if your kid wants to lie to you he will. We preferred instead to rely on our consistent messages to help our kids not make overly stupid and dangerous decisions. And I feel allowing your kids ever increasing freedom and responsibility is key in raising decent adults.

As far as I can tell, all of our kids were pretty honest and responsible along these lines. Maybe I’m majorly gullible, but I don’t think so.

My kids don’t appear to have any real interest in cell phones, but they seem to be the exception among their peers. There are many a time during which a cellphone would be useful - say if they are at a school function and need to tell you when or where to pick them up. We only have one cell as a family, and if one of the kids really needs/wants one, they can take the family cell.

If he wants a cell, he will be thrilled with the gift. If not, he might be ticked at having a part of his present-allocation go to that.

One shortcoming with the cellphone is that it tells you if your kid is alive, but doesn’t tell you where he is. Now you could have him take a picture of his immediate surroundings… Go with the GPS chip!

Where are you at DB? What exactly are you worried is going to happen to him?

At 10 I’d say it is a good thing to have him walk/bike over to his friend’s house by himself. And depending on where you live, you can always say “Ride your bikes anywhere within this area.”

I know how common it is to worry that disaster will strike your loved ones. But my wife and I made the conscious choice some while back to not lead our lives as tho the worst possible thing was going to happen at any particular moment.

10

We live in a decent neighborhood; it’s not that. I know I’m being overprotective, but I get miserable real quick when I can’t lay eyes on that child. It’s the same way with his sister*, but she’s a little older and hardly ever comes out of her room, so it’s far less of a problem. (I hate it when they get invited to other people’s houses.)

If I can swing it, I’ll get a cell phone for the kids to share. Fortunately, they’d be thrilled with that.

*Cabin Fever, one daughter is plenty, thanks! :slight_smile:

11

Disney Mobile has a similar setup to Wherify, if you would like to compare (see the “Family Locater” feature). Looks to me that Wherify may have sold their technology to Disney, actually.

12

Dear God:

I am just writing to thank you for having been born before my mother could buy me a cellphone. While my parents were not very much in favor of things like letting their children out of sight, those few times when they did I was actually free. I even was able to spend eleven whole weeks in the United States at age 19 and only call home twice: one to say “hi I’ve arrived with all my body parts in the right place” and one to say “hi, I’ll arrive to San Sebastian on the 11am bus on Sunday”.

You guys are making my Mom sound good! That takes some serious work!

13

Like a microchip implant? They’re doing it to cats now…

14

I am so very, very, glad that all this stuff wasn’t available when I was a teenager.

I know a woman that has sixteen year old twin daughters. Each has been given a cell phone with that camera thingy and when they are out on dates, Mom calls about once an hour and makes them scan the surroundings so she can see where they are. Mom is very proud of this.

Why not just implant them with a GPS locator and also an ID chip that gives name, age, address, IQ, Social Security number, sexual preference and any STD’s they may have been exposed to? (Not that they’d get the opportunity for this last, with Mom checking out the scenery so frequently.)

OK, Dung Beetle didn’t deserve the rant, that was simply my social commentary for this month.

We live on a farm surrounded by miles of woods in every direction. Grandchildren and their friends are frequently here, going on hikes, riding horses and go carts, driving the tractor and farm truck off in all directions, etc. This is a popular place with the 8 to 15 year old set.
We bought a two-way walkie-talkie setup from Radio Shack for about $40, so when the little darlin’s have a horse wreck or drive a truck or go cart into a ditch, they can call in and get help. The units are about the size of a cell phone and provide simple, adequate communication up to five miles.

15

Believe it or not, so am I! On the other hand, it’s not like I wasn’t out doing things that could have gotten me killed, raped, or arrested. I was just lucky none of those things happened.

Thanks. I knew there’d be a lot of disagreement about this, but I really am trying to loosen up the apron strings here.

16

I’m not so paranoid as to need a GPS or microchip or anything (and the “take a picture of your surroundings” lady needs to get a grip!). But last year for his birthday, WhyKid, turning 13, got my old pay-as-you-go Virgin Wireless phone (an old model, pretty rugged and not all razor or flippy, so it’s not a status symbol or anything) and I got a new, flippy, camera [del]toy[/del] phone.

I don’t demand that he call me every hour, but if he’s going to be late, changes location or is sent to the store on an errand and forgets what I asked him to get, it’s been invaluable. He likes to call after school and ask if he can play with his friends in the park next door to school for an hour or so. I like the pay-as-you-go aspect. He was told when he got it that I’ll pay for all calls to home and a “reasonable” amount of friends’ calls. “Reasonable” is up to Mama to determine, but he’s been very good with it and I haven’t made him pay for anything. I like pay-as-you-go because I don’t have to worry about overages, and he uses less than 150 minutes every three months anyway. It’s cheaper for me than a plan.

This is the level of “tracking” I do with my son. The cell phone makes it easier for him, and erases the “I didn’t have change/couldn’t find a pay phone/the pay phone was broken” kind of excuses. He and his friends play at parks more than in one another’s homes, so it’s not like a land-line is always convenient.

He’s also responsible for keeping it charged and on whenever he’s not in school or with me. I make a check-up call randomly about once a month, and if he answers, he gets $5. If he doesn’t, he owes me $5. It’s just a fun game, and only once has he owed me.

17

I think its a risk analysis thing.

We let our eight year old ride his bike within the neighborhood - but he can’t yet cross either “busy” street that boarders it to visit friends (his friends are a bike ride away - across the busy streets). We let him play in the 65 acre woodland park by our home - but he needs to be with a friend - no going out there alone. The seven year old has similar rules - but sticks closer to home - she isn’t interested in long bike rides. Probably this summer - at “almost nine” he’ll be able to go visit the two friends who are across the busy streets - but it will be one of those “I call his mom to say he is coming, he calls me when he gets there” things.

My own belief is that kids need some room to do stupid things. Raise them so that they are AWARE - that may keep them from getting killed, raped or arrested. But hovering over them keeping them from making any stupid mistakes doesn’t allow them room to exercise their own judgement - eventually they need to make decisions independantly of Mom. I’m more afraid of “killed, raped or arrested” when they are young adults - and I’m not moving into the college dorms to keep that from happening - so better teach them now how to avoid it. And I’m more afraid of a 32 year old living in the basement than I am of rape, killed or arrested.

Every little step at giving them independance moves them to the point where they can be self sufficient adults - from the point where they could get their own sippy cup from the fridge, to the point that they decide what they are doing with the car and the car keys for the evening. We seem to have done a pretty good job - they can get their own candy, but ask (and when they don’t ask, they are reasonable about quantity) - hopefully they’ll show the same restraint with the car keys.

18

I think that is a really good point, tho really hard to put into words without sounding like an irresponsible parent.

On several occasions I encouraged myself to take what I considered reasonable risks - with me alongside. Climbing the ladder onto the roof, hiking in some areas where one had to be reasonably careful, climbing trees… In some ways, I think the kids benefit from practicing being careful in situations where there really is some (albeit controlled) degree of risk involved.

19

Good for you Dung Beetle, keep working on it. As you said in your OP, you’re the one with knots in your stomach but you do seem to realize that you’re running the very serious risk of retarding your child’s normal “age appropriate” development.

Yes, you were lucky really bad things didn’t happen to you, but I think your own experience is still a good guide to a reasonable level of supervision. Why are so many parents today unable to extend to their kids the same degree of autonomy that worked well for them?

I’ve got a 14 and a 16 year old, and over the years I was constantly having to veto the leash/cell phone/constant checkin/supervised everything/playdate/hovering eye-in-the-sky/GPS strategies being proposed by their mother and by the parents of their peers. What happened to our generation to instill such fear and anxiety? And bad judgment.

I feel fortunate that my kids don’t want cell phones and are bright enough to resist having them foisted onto them. They don’t want one more thing to lose and get in trouble for, and they know it’s trivial to use a friend’s phone if they ever feel the need.

But, there is no doubt in my mind that the good old days are long gone. Embedded GPS chips in children is no joke, you can be dead certain that installation will soon be part of normal hospital childbirthing procedure. Cheap $15 webcams now make it economically practical to put classrooms and workplaces under video surveillance and who doubts that they will soon be as ubiquitous as light fixtures in every room of every building. Twenty years ago people were up in arms about airport parking garages taking photos of license plates to control in-and-out scammers, but no one is blinking now that bridge and highway tollbooths are policed by cameras.

So I’m on the fence. The fact that we CAN monitor our kids so closely is probably why we’re doing it, and I don’t believe we’re going to voluntarily restrain ourselves. Sadly, I think it’s inevitable that we need to develop a new morality that accounts for our technical capabilities, but it seems clear to me that in making ourselves sleep better we’re making our kids more vulnerable.

20

My boyfriend’s oldest daughter (13) has a Wherifone (Tashaboy’s mom got it for her as a bday present). It works well - she can call out to a limited number of people and has the panic button. Her mom isn’t smart enough to figure out how to use the GPS feature on the 'net (and really too drunk most of the time to figure out how to use a computer), but it puts everyone at peace of mind because the panic button is always within reach (her wherifone has a keychain thing on it and she keeps her keys on it, so it’s always in her pocket or around her neck with a lanyard). She’s also at the right age where she realizes that “Mom, I left my homework at home” isn’t an acceptable use of the panic button.

The closest I get to this is when my boyfriend goes to work for longer than I expect (his hours fluctuate as he works for a hiring hall union) and I worry - but I can’t call because he’s not supposed to get cell calls while working. Sometimes I then wish for a GPS chip. But for the most part with kids it’s best to do your best to give them your morals and values and trust them (mostly - at least, that’s what my parents said, and I turned out alright).

~Tasha