Do you want me to die?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

“Do you want me to die?”

That’s what my customer just asked me when I told him that his telephone line does not qualify for DSL service.

Customer: “Do you want me to die?”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “Do you want me to die?”
Me: “No sir! Why would you ask that?”
Customer: “Because you wont give me DSL.”
Me: “I don’t follow sir. Why would not having DSL kill you?”
Customer: “Because it is my passion!! It is my passion to surf the internet!!”
Me: “Okay. Well DSL is not a life or death product. Your line does not qualify for it so you cannot get it. You will live.”

He then decided to cancel his phone service! The funniest part about the conversation is that I think he was serious!

Wacky Friday!

2

Somewhere on a foggy street beneath a street light:

“But darling, there’s something about me… something you might not like.”

“No, no, there is nothing. Tell me what it is; it’s nothing I’m sure. Nothing could dim my passion for you.”

“That’s just it. You’ll see; in five minutes you’re going to walk out that door and never come back.”

“But why? What could be so horrible. Why are you so sure our love is doomed?”

“Because it is my passion. It is my passion to surf the internet!!”

through tears
“Goodbye. Goodbye.”

“We’ll always have the Straight Dope!”

3

pezpunk, that story was funny! You should really submit it to TechTales. They have a TON of this stuff! Hilarious stuff, to be sure! :slight_smile:

Failing that, mind if I submit it for you? :smiley:

4

snort

The worst part of this story is, I can just about guarantee you this guy was serious.

And dude, scaring me with that thread title just isn’t cool, ok? I figured you’d gotten arrested for phone fraud in Costa Rica or something… :wink:

5

Sure! Just imagine… Pezpunk published on the internet. How exciting! Now if I could only get my story about my orgy with 10 beautiful girls published in Penthouse I’ll die a happy man. Come to think of it, if I could have an orgy with 10 beautiful girls I’d die a happy man!
Offers? :smiley:

Nevermind.

6

Lemme check with your wife and get back to you on that one, ok?

7

no no nopezzy

mouthbreather…er I mean, the man who called you said:
do you want me to dye?

he was contemplating life as a blonde.

8

geez your right RASA! My wife! How could I forget!?!?!

Only 9 girls needed!

Volunteers?

:smiley:

9

All right, pezpunk… I will submit it sometime in the next 15 minutes or so. Only thing is, how do you want to be referred to?

10

Pezpunk… Andy… Daddy.

Whatever :slight_smile:

11

All right, I’ll go with Andy (aka pezpunk). I even got in a plug for the SDMB! :smiley:

I couldn’t improve on the title (it says it all, really), so I kept it. :slight_smile:

Just pressed the “submit” button, and I got back a screen saying:

Of course, since I’ve never submitted a tale there before (this is my first time), that may be normal. Hopefully, the tale will be online in a bit! :slight_smile: I’ll check back in the next few days or so to see.

12

And thank you for putting the Toadies song Possum Kingdom in my head. :smiley:

13

:confused: :confused: :confused:

14

Possum Kingdom has lines that go like this:

“Do ya wanna die?”

15

Thanks Noc. You’re spot on.

16

You crazy kids and your rock and roll music.