You have definitely convinced me to give the new NA beers, and Guinness in particular, a try.
With most NA beers, do not go into it thinking it will taste like the real thing. I think Guinness comes pretty close, with the same cascading effect and soft mouthfeel, but it is thinner in the mouth. But it satisfies that dark malt, yet refreshing, jones. And I find that, as is to be expected, different people do find different things they like about different NAs. I happen to enjoy many of IPA offerings and I am definitely a hophead, but other hopheads who have stopped drinking think most of them are piss. One of the things I notice most is the viscosity is so much thinner than the alcohol varieties. A lot of people seem to like Heineken 0.0. I was never much of a Heineken drinker, but it’s a pretty safe choice. Like I said, I swear it even has that light skunkiness I associate with a lot of Heinekens. 
They make a couple different varieties:
My favorite is their golden. By itself it’s different from an alcohol golden; but with food it’s excellent.
Oh, huh! I didn’t even notice that was a name for a whole line of their NA beers. I’ll have to look out for a variety pack. I know several breweries have variety packs, so that’s a good way to check out different types of NAs (though they tend to be variety packs of similar styles.) One of the more interesting NAs I had lately was Partake’s Peach Gose. Based on the German sour wheat style of beer known as gose (see also: gueuze, a perhaps slightly better-known Belgian style), it’s a crisp, refreshing summer quaffer. Very light (25 calories), flavored with peach (though not sweet or overwhelming), coriander seed and salt (as is typical in a German gose). It’s edges more towards a cross between a seltzer and NA beer, but on a hot summer day, it hits the spot.
What’s great is that there’s a whole lot to explore in this market segment if you have a well-stocked liquor store nearby. Even average groceries around here have gone from carrying one or two to six or more in addition to Sharp’s and O’Douls (usually something like Heineken 0.0, Clausthauer, Clausthauer dry-hopped, Lagunitas IPNA, Sam Adams Just the Haze, various Athletics, sometimes Brooklyn, and often some of the more mass-market beers like Bud, Michelob, Corona, Blue Moon.) But the more interesting ones tend to be at liquoramas.
Thanks for the anecdote; glad to hear of someone ‘succeeding at life’ in this area. You’ve all been helping me feel less sorry for myself that I’m avoiding alcohol.
I have a Kiwi mate who’s decided to go N/A (I think just to see if he can do it). So I’m get phone calls now that start with “Ah’m on m’ way to your fav’rite pub. Fancy a pint or three o’ Guiness Zero?”