Dodge, I love you. But I hate you.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

With a firey, burning passion that consumes my soul.

So I got out of school this morning at 11:30 or so. I came home. Dismantled my car. 1993 Dodge Shadow ES. V6. Awesome car. I replaced the oxygen sensor, all the spark plugs, and the distributor cap. Fought with my SO over whether to measure the gaps on the spark plugs in millimeters or inches or–get this–a 45 degree angle? What? Anywhooo.

Got everything put back together. Jumped it off. It ran like a dream. Absolutely perfect. OK, says I, I will return this oxygen sensor tool thingy to Auto-Freaks-R-Us, and get a new air filter, and then I’ll take a quick drive to let the battery charge a bit. (It had been sitting dead for a week.)

After leaving Auto-Freaks, I headed out toward TVA. There’s a long stretch of road through the reservation that is very pretty in the spring, and it’s not too far from my house. As I was coming across Wilson Dam I noted something shiny and Coke-can like in the road ahead. It was pretty flat, and I had no room to swerve so I just pass right over it.

Apparently smashed Coke cans can do a lot of damage. Whatever this thing was, it caught on the bottom of the car and I dragged it a good hundred feet–until I heard a horrible screeching noise and a pop–and my steering wheel locked up. Not panicking yet, I coasted into the reservation and pulled over as best I could. I cut on my flashers, I pop the hood and…

My fanbelts are gone. Upon closer inspection, they are actually all tangled together in a big knot down in front of the alternator. No sign of my funky Coke can whatsis. Near as I can tell, it popped up into the engine, popped off my belts, and disappeared like cilantro out of a rabbit cage. Whoo. Hoo.

So, Dodge. Why in the name of All that is Cheesy must everything in this engine be skewed off to the side? I know why. It’s because you want me to take this car back to you to have this belt put back on, so you can charge me hundreds of dollars. You don’t want me to be able to fix this myself. I am so pissed off at you right now I can barely see straight. Words cannot express the rage I feel inside.

But I love my car. This was some kind of freak accident. Funny thing… my SO and his parentals showed up:

Him: This is all your fault!
Me: Because I hit a Coke can?
His Dad: Shut up! Damn kids…
Him: So, this cord thing came off? Can we get it back on?
Me: It’s a belt. Dear.

This was at seven thirty or so. It is now past four in the morning. I just got home.

Dodge. You. Suck.

2

Oh man, that’s awful! Damn people who leave their rubbish like that out!

Serious condolences mate!

3

I had a '93 Plymouth Sundance Duster with the 3.0 V-6. Pretty much exactly the same car. I loved the thing and kinda regret getting rid of it.

My question is, how did you change the rear three plugs. They’re pretty much wedged between the rear cylinders and the firewall. I have a trick that will help next time you do, but I was just wondering how you did it.

4

Why is it you can’t put the belt back on yourself, exactly?

5

Don’t blame Dodge…that was a Mitsubishi engine in there, they didn’t design it, they just dropped it in :slight_smile:

6

The people who build cars don’t make a dime on repairs. In fact, they lose money every time a warranty repair is performed. Most dealerships don’t make a lot of money on repairs, or at least they didn’t back when I worked as a mechanic. Way back then, a couple of dealers told me they would completely close their shops if the manufacturer would allow it. Blame the automobile design engineers, if you will but the blame mostly likely could be traced back to the financial folks.

7

“Hey, Louie, how’d you get that flat tire?”

“Ran over a glass pop bottle.”

“What, didn’t you see it laying in the road?”

“Damn kid had it under his coat.”

8

brewha - we removed the air filter housing/crap and spent about thirty minutes ratcheting. One… ratchet… at… a… time…

**Uncommon Sense ** - couldn’t get the belt back on myself because I’m a sissy. Actually it turns out that the tensioner was warped pretty bad. We got a new one on this afternoon and were working on the belt when it started raining. Sigh.

Mostly I had to play the blame game because I was pissed this morning. In the daylight it was much easier to see and identify the problem. I figure if a little piece of warped aluminum could dislodge those belts so easily then they must’ve been ready to jump off anyhow.

Mr. Moto, you make me laugh.