Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis? Or, wankers

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
21

I’m not really interested in checking out a male pig to see what it possesses.

22

With the song example given, ‘frigging’ is more self love than loving another, though when used as an ejaculation (heh) as in “this frigging thing won’t work” it is a simple replacement for ‘fucking’, as you say.

I am ill and grumpy and at work, so I’m not picking up humour very well. What does car jacking have to do with sex?

23

Interesting that nobody has mentioned wang or wanger, which both mean penis (in this context).

24

Presumably he meant to say wanger. Just a slight typo, k instead of g. And the spell checker failed to pick it up.

Of course, Cecil never makes mistakes, so the error must have been made by his editor.
Edit - I’d swear that Floater’s post wasn’t visible when I started typing mine.

25

Yes, “jerk off” has the meaning of masturbation. Calling someone a “jerk-off” carries that connotation. I’m not certain the etymology of the word “jerk” - if it derived from “jerk-off” or has a different origin, but it does not carry that meaning now.

Nothing especially. I assume his smiley face was in reference to “the colonies”.

26

Ah. To paraphrase Churchill; separated by a common colonial history and language. :slight_smile:

27

(bolding mine)

Annnnd, we have a winner! Give the man a cigar! :smiley:
(No offense meant gentlemen, one of my oldest friends, best dive buddy and the greatest ‘wing man’ I’ve ever known, is from Great Britain.:cool:)

First off, I am not a linguist, etymologist or teacher of any kind. But, FWIW and IMHO…

In a very convoluted way, I guess you could connect calling someone a ‘jerkoff’ with masturbation. To elaborate, a jerk off is someone that is wasting time (just, not sexually). So to connect that with masturbation…
wasting time = wasting one’s seed (sperm).

In my neck of the woods though, calling somebody a ‘jerkoff’ usually implies that the person is a ‘slacker’ and that they’re ‘jerking off’ or avoiding/shirking work.

Hey, I said it was very convoluted. I wasn’t kidding.

The terms jacking off/jack off and jerking off/jerk off are interchangeable, the definition (sexual or nonsexual) is determined by the context in which it is used. This may also be dependant upon geographical location, as slang (colloquiallisms) can vary tremendously from one part of the country to another.

28

Gentlemen? Ahem (checks) and a kiwi chick, thanks.

29

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

30

Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis?

Not as far as I can remember. They’re just “regular.” (Did you think this because they’re often depicted with corkscrew tails? Which is not quite true; they’re more like a loose curl.)

But a tom cat does. (Told to me by a “large animal” vet—cows, horses etc. Who is a woman, BTW) That’s why you hear (female) cats squalling in the night. Would you want to be assaulted with such a thing?

31

Not quite. The penis of the cat is barbed, not curled.

32

<on bended knee, red faced and humbled>
I beg forgiveness for my dreadful mistake. :smack:
I meant no offense, dear lady. Please show mercy, and pardon a poor, pitiful noobs ignorance.

33

Hah, it used to happen alot IRL when I was young and skinny and a bit of a feminist, I got over it decades ago.

Noob? Join date 1999? Hah again.

It slipped past earlier, but I think Peter Morris’ ‘wanger’ idea should get more attention.

34

Having personally handled one (oh the pleasures of vet school), I can attest that they indeed do.

[noparse]http://bedandbreakfastwinchester.com/files/2011/02/1297444488-73.jpg[/noparse]

Shows a pig’s penis; probably depends on where you work whether that’s OK.

35

Empirical evidence, that’s what I like to see!

So it’s only the end bit that’s corkscrew-shaped.

Also, length for show, girth for woooaah. Sorry, piggy. :stuck_out_tongue:

36

I thought you were going to link to the video of the duck getting an erection labeled as an “explosive eversion”.

Probably NSFW
www .youtube. com/watch?v=qwjEeI2SmiU

May not be the biggest phallus to body ratio, but the unraveling still impresses and shames.

37

On the etymology of the word jerk… If I could hazard a guess:

The jerking motion (somewhat safe for work)

Jacking is similar, if one has ever seen a car jack in operation at any rate. Also, “jacked” can be a synonym for “physically fit”, which I’d like to know the etymology of.

I’ve heard “jilling” is a female equivalent. Also, ymmv on to the validity of “wank her”, “wank her off” or any alternative (“finger her” may be suitable, depending on context - though not “I gave her a finger”, nor “fingered her off”). For example, “Rebecca Loos wanks a pig” (as she stated “I gave it a wank”, thus “I gave him/her a wank” probably being appropriate) was encountered at some point. Though I suppose the collective unconscious probably wants to forget about that. I suppose it would depend on the line of business where one would have to encounter the terms regularly.

For some reason I’d assume that most manuals of style would avoid the tricky business entirely, which could be awkward when one pauses in regaling certain events at a cocktail party with international guests. One wouldn’t want to embarrass oneself in front of an English boss, say.

38

You’re suggesting chatting with your boss about autoeroticism and worried that your gammar may cause embarrassment?

39

I always keep my gammar covered up when there are international guests around.

40

:smack:
Send Gammer back to the old folk’s home and sort out the grammar.:smack: