That’s ridiculous. How much control do they think they have over students outside school in other ways too?
Quite a lot. The parents have to sign their consent to certain behavioral expectations of students and can be held responsible if those are not met. A private religious school is all about teaching religiously-acceptable behavior and attitude, and that requires that the messages the school attempts to deliver are not undermined at home.
In grade-school, my son was off of school grounds, walking home, when he saw two kids picking on a classmate who was slow. He intervened, there was a fight, and he beat up two older kids. He was suspended for fighting (as were the other two kids).
I argued that he was off of school grounds, that he was protecting a kid who couldn’t protect himself, etc. None of that mattered, he received a three day suspension. I took three days off of work and we did father/son activities.
I guess I was a mean mommy - no way would I have hosted a party for my daughter with 20+ kids. I think the biggest party she had was with 8 or 9 kids. We had the parties at our house, I made the food and the kids played games - no bounce house, no hired entertainment, no caterers. Nor did I ever consider taking a herd to a bowling alley or skating rink. So inviting the whole class was never an issue - especially since a few of her friends didn’t even go to the same school.
One and only one time, I decided to throw a party for all my coworkers. The ones who were closest friends did come, the others didn’t. The worst was the one who accepted, then a few days before came to me and said “I got a better invitation for the same day.” Classy.
After that, I limited my entertaining to real friends. It worked out much better.
That is a good point. I can sort of maybe see that school rules could extend to travel to/from school, since you don’t want people flouting the rules the second they step off of school property.
But can they extend to nights and weekends and activities that are clearly outside of the nexus of school?
And good for you for backing up your son.
My sister’s rule for her daughter’s birthday was she could invite as many kids as her age. 6th birthday - 6 kids. And generally, since they were girls, there were a couple games and crafts, cake & ice cream, and that was it. Low key, less drama.
StG
It was a learning experience for me. I initially praised my son for backing up the retarded kid. My son then had to explain to me that “retarded” was a bad word. At first I stood up for its use!
While we’re on the subject of kids and birthday parties, did anyone else grow up in an area, or have that as your own family’s rule, where fathers were not expected to attend a child’s birthday party, in part because many families would not allow their children to attend if they were there?
Yes. Iowa, the ‘60s
If you were referring to the post I made right before yours, I’m glad I’m not the only person who remembers this.
Nope. Fathers typically weren’t at the birthday parties I went to as a child nor at the ones my kids went to - but that’s because many of the parties were on weekdays after school, when the father would be working.* Fathers were almost always at weekend parties.
- And no, the parties weren’t planned on weekdays to keep the fathers from attending. The various venues were cheaper and easier to book ( my kid’s classmates rarely had a home party) but even for a home party, having the party on Wed after school didn’t affect the whole family’s weekend.
At the kid’s parties I attended, dads were there to drink beer, watch the game, and carry the gifts to the car at the end.
Good times.
As a number have said, if you are handing out invitations in school, they should be to the entire class. Partial class invitations (friends only, etc), should be done not on school grounds.
My kid went to a school with pretty well-heeled parents, so going to house parties was not horrible as there was always a big screen with an open bar. Going to parties at some other location, however, like the skating rink… those I tried to palm off on Mom.
However, most of the time, the parents who co-attended Sophia’s parties tended to be moms.
In my elementary school there was no such rule. But then again, this was back in the 60s.
I remember being in 2nd or 3rd grade and I only got a few Valentines cards, while other kids got dozens. 
Mine was in the early 1970s. Of course, you could always write a nicer card for some people than for others.
It seems like the “invite the whole class” parties were mostly k-2, and they were a good way for all the parents to get to know each other. We just did cake in a public park, and maybe half would come: weekends are busy. After 2nd grade or so, the kids have more “real” friends.
It seems to me that those Valentine’s Day card packs for school-age children are all designed around the idea you give them to everyone. I mean, why would they include so many in a pack? Heck, as adults, we think of having only one Valentine, so even handing out more than one card seems odd.
And, yeah, we had the rule about handing out invitations at school, as well. The same was true of snacks. These would sometimes be combined, sorta: you could bring cupcakes for your birthday to hand out to everyone, and there’d be like a 15-20 minute mini-party at the end of the day. (Of course, you needed to inform the teacher of this ahead of time.)
I handed out invitations at school at least as far as third grade, where my party was at Pizza Hut. We didn’t do big parties like that every year due to the cost: the only other one I remember was in the McDonald’s playland house, which held parties a lot. We knew the owner of that particular restaurant and so probably got a bit of a deal.
I remember a couple years of grade school where I handed out special valentines to girls I liked. It went okay one year (no one seemed to mind). The other year I got a “your friend” rejection letter back, so I stopped doing it.
That reminds me of an incident a few years back. I was in a grocery store on Valentine’s Day, and the man in line ahead of me was holding an armful of those pre-made flower bouquets, you know, a few mixed flowers and some greenery wrapped in a plastic cone. I jokingly said something to him, like, My, you must be a real Romeo.
He laughed and said, “Mother, step-mother, mother-in-law, step-mother-in-law.” And I said, Nothing for your wife? (Which I later realized was really stupid, what if his wife had died or something?) But he just laughed again. “SHE gets red roses.”