Does anybody here write poetry? Can you help me?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have a humble, but serious request.

I had a very pretty turtle until last night.

She was a cooter, with a really knobby brown shell and yellow and grey striped sking and she had a marvelous pair of very pretty blue eyes. Her eyes were her best feature. She had a very ancient, solemn look to her.

Her name was Mandy Moon. I named her after a tombstone I saw at London’s Highgate cemetary, the Mandy Moon on the tombstone only lived to be 19.
My turtle Mandy Moon acted very much like a tombstone. she just sat there on her rock, basking under her artificial sun. She rarely moved, for the 8 months that i had her.
She was quite obviously depressed, in fact, the single most depressed turtle I have ever met. Her eyes were indeed pretty, but they never held any life.
She had a brother named Mudhead, a red-eared slider who is much more lively- a striking contrast to Mandy Moon. Mudhead likes to tear into goldfish and rip them and swallow the up in bloody bites, while Mandy rarely ate, but preferred dried fish meal to hunting.
I asked him last night if he missed his sister, and he said “Feed me”.

Mandy Moon died last night of unknown causes (maybe suicide) and i put her in my formaldehyde bucket until I have time to taxiderm her this weekend.

Now my request-

If anyone can, using the information I provided, write a proper eulogy, a poem, any nice tribute…I will print it out and when I taxiderm her, I will seal a copy of that tribute poem into her shell and she can carry it with her always.

I suck at writing poems, so I need help.
Also, Mandy Moon’s life WAS rather bleak, and I want something nice, melancholy is ok, but overall, kinda nice.
At least she’s dead now, I guess. I think that’s what she always wanted anyway.

2

Unfortunately, I can’t write poetry, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that Mandy Moon passed away. ((((Turp))))
[sub]I’m seriously going to send you an e-mail this weekend. Really. I’m working on it.[/sub]

3

{{{Turpentine}}}

Sorry to hear of your loss.

I’ll offer my poetry writing services… I must humbly admit I’m not particularly good, but then I was never one to advertise myself.

Medea’s Child has read my recent work, and she’s said it’s “pretty”, and I got a couple kudos for my customized valentine poems, but I wouldn’t think seriously of trying to publish my poetry.

Anyway, if you’d like, I could try to put something together this weekend for you… hopefully I’d have it done by Sunday night. Is free verse OK, maybe a dozen lines or so? My rhyme and meter tends to be weak unless I really work at it.

4

If you want, I, as an English major, can look over your rhyme and meter and gently suggest ways in which you might improve them.

However, having used up all my creative ability for most of today (writing two 1200 word essays yesterday), I wouldn’t be able to write anything near good. Plus I don’t write rhyming poetry. I can edit it, though.

Unless you want something done by next weekend, I ain’t promisin’ a poem but I can edit anything someone else writes, if they like.

5

I can write poetry, I don’t know how good it is. If you’d like, I’d compose one for Mandy Moon.

6

Thank you all, sweet peoples.

Any and all submissions will be sealed in her shell (she’s a pretty big turtle). I’ll post a picture of her when I’m done taxiderming her.
I might paint a nice piture on her shell, but that might be tacky.

As long as it’s not parodical (is that a word?), any nice words are appreciated.
I should add though, that I miss her pretty eyes, but to be brutally honest, I think Mandy Moon will be almost as useful as a taxidermed turtle as she was a live one. I mean, her greatest wish through her life, I believe, was to be dead.
I tried, but I couldn’t bring her out of her shell (I’m so sorry, it had to be said)- she was confined to her own realm of misery. Even her lively brother Mudhead couldn’t put life in those eyes.
I think, I hope that now, she is finally FINALLY happy.

Iampunha-
As I said, I suck at poetry, but here is something I wrote about her a few months ago, when she was alive and I felt bad for her.
I never finished the last stanza. Whatever you can suggest…
Though now I need a poem about her death, not her life.

Mandy Moon- by Turpentine
Ancient blue eyes see no tomorrow
Just primordial strife, Triassic sorrow
Dinosaurs grew wings and flew
Oh Mandy Moon, so why can’t you?

A fish will swim by and Mudhead will dart
Where is that fire in YOUR heart?
Oh Mandy Moon, the ember is dying
Though I pick you up and take you flying

A million miles away one day
A hard smooth stone lay cold and grey
The stone and you are one and the same
The stone in London that bears your name

But I saw into the stone, and there were sparks
Seven steps north from the bed of Karl Marx
You were hiding under a sycamore tree
But I heard you, I saw and you spoke to me

19 years on this earth, as a lass-
Now a world confined within walls of glass
Your afterlife- why did you get this one?
Basking under an artificial sun

I know Mandy Moon, why you will not fly
I know why those pretty blue eyes cannot cry
I know why you wish to be left all alone
And i know now why you are like the grey stone

Please forgive me Mandy Moon, for taking you away
You were destined for heaven, now HERE you must stay

I know it sucks. That’s why I need a better poem for her shell.

7

My girlfriend writes poetry and loves turtles. She has a handful of questions:

How old was she?

What kind of food did she like?

Was her skin smooth or wrinkly?

Any particular memories you have of her? Special moments or situations?

8

Turp, I dunno who you’ve been listening to for advice on poetry, but whoever it is needs to wake up. That wasn’t bad. The meter needs a little work and it might be better overall for the lines to all have the same number of feet, but any corrections I’d make would be minor at most.

Do you want the poem to be more symmetrical (i.e. have all the lines the same number of feet, or a sensible pattern of some sort), or are you happy with the free verse you have?

A thought: You could, if you really wanted to, change the verses around so’s the longer lines are in the middle, thus making a turtleshell-type design. That would be very cool, IMO. However, I am not you, so what I think most likely makes little diff:)

As for her death . . . perhaps add something at the end or indicate that you had written this when she was alive? Sort of “A teenager’s unspoken words to her beloved Mandy Moon”?

{Turpentine}

9

Oh, this is nice. Except Mandy Moon was really, to be honest, very, VERY boring, even for a turtle.
I don’t her age, but I had her and her suriving brother Mudhead for 8 months.
She rarely ate anything, I think she wanted to die, but toward the end she was finally opening up to me and ate Repto-Vite turtle pellets from my hand.
Her skin was very smooth and grey and yellow striped, but her shell was knobby and brown and flaky- but pretty.
I think I mentioned her best feature- her blue eyes.

The special memories of her are limited because she didn’t do very much at all. Often she would sit in the corner, perhaps she was thinking.
Oh wait-
My roommate jamison occasionally, when he felt sorry for her for being so depressed, he would pick her up and run around the room with her, he called it “taking Mandy Moon FLYING!!!” She seemed indifferent to this.

I did like her a lot though.

Oh, and many many thanks to NOCTURNE, my first contributor.

It was EXACTLY the sort of thing I was looking for-
melancholy and it reflected all of Mandy’s best traits.
I am going to copy it onto nicer paper with sepia ink before I put it in her shell.

I would post it here, but I didn’t know if you wanted that or not.

Iampunha- Thanks, I’ll work on it. I like the turtle shell shaped poem. This WAS one of my first attempts at poetry since high school (I’m not a teenager, haven’t been one in five years).

10

Turpentine, I don’t mind if you post my meager contribution here. I do have to say, though, that it was the first poem I ever wrote for a dead turtle.

My best friend thought I was nuts, but he said, “It sounds like something you would do.”

11

Mandy lived 'twixt plated decks
Which practically concealed her sex
And though she wasn’t all that clever
She was a friend I’ll miss forever
.
.

With HUGE apologies to Ogden Nash

12

Turpentine, I think your poem is lovely and will mean more than mine ever will, as the way Mandy Moon’s presence touched your soul must inevitably be absent from my writing.

Hope you don’t mind, but I went with free verse because I am most comfortable there. I realize this is mediocre at best, but maybe in some small way it will help.
The sun once shone
On a tiny Moon,
And warmed it gently
As a mild winter’s day.

But try as it might,
This Moon would not glow;
For in stillness she waited as new,
Her phases unchanging.

Yet her gravity was not weak,
And the tides she created
Did not go unnoticed
Though she thought them so.

And now that Mandy has passed
To dwell in newer firmament,
The heavens seem a bit emptier
And the tides that much weaker.

Imagine then, that this new sky
Shall not be as the old.
That light shall reign supreme;
That the Moon may always be full there.

So think not of darkness
But ponder illumination,
And embrace when fair orbits
Intersect again.

13

OK guys, I know my poem wasn’t particularly good, but I don’t want to be responsible for killing off Turpentine’s thread…

14

No, no Mrblue.

I liked it, it works for me, showed a lot of soul for someone who hasn’t even met the subject. Poor Mandy, all this beauty is coming from her death, rather than from anything she did in life.
Or maybe that is beautiful in itself.

Reproduced with permission, here is Nocture’s contribution as well-

If you are weary, then lay you down to rest
(All dreams in death are dreams of the best)
And return to moonlight, for so are you named
Eyes that shone blue like night sky shut now
(And we all know that London was your town)
And for your sorrow, no one can be blamed.

Striking onward now, after never moving
And caring now, after never loving
Out of darkness perhaps, or maybe light
And with a moniker ever turned to death
Did slip away the last breath
As the moon hid behind the clouds of night.

Did you die too late or did you die too soon?
Does it matter now? The clouds have taken the moon.

Very pretty. Funny how people are so shy about their own poetry.

Astro- Your poem isn’t quite what I was looking for but fear not-
It’s actually a perfect description for my other turtle, Mudhead. I love Mudhead, and it sounds just like him. I will use it if Mudhead ever joins Mandy Moon. sigh…don’t want to think about that now.

Speaking of which-

I might be insane, but I swear to god, I was watching Mudhead the other day- and I KNOW that he knows why his sister isn’t around anymore. He isn’t as snappy as usual, keeps to himself. He used to sit on Mandy Moon like she was a rock.
I know he misses her. That’s kind of sad.
I wish I could console him, but he needs the company of another turtle.

15

Thanks. I’m glad you liked it.

I can’t help but thinking that this is one of the best pieces of philosophy, despite the contrived way in which it is often expressed. The way to find beauty in one’s life is to search for it in everything, even in the darkest places. And if we can find even a tiny scrap there, how much more beautiful are the brightest places!

[WARNING: Film plug to follow…]
I recently discovered the movie Life is Beautiful. If you are up to it (takes place during the Holocaust and is subtitled/dubbed unless you speak Italian), I’d recommend it whole-heartedly–it’s absolutely wonderful. Laugh, cry, and see how to make the best out of the worst possible situations.

I find that poetry can be one of the biggest windows into the human soul; to open the curtains so all the world can see inside yours is often an intimidating thing. Few people want to open themselves to attack in the most sensitive areas, and yet, it is very liberating to be able to pour out your innermost feelings. Like you, I have only recently started writing poetry again. I hope you continue.

(And pardon me for wearing my heart on my sleeve here… Normally I don’t to this extent, but my own life has had it’s fair share of twists and turns lately that have really changed me, hopefully for the better.)

16

This is one reason you will rarely see, any of you, poetry of mine.

But then, I’d have to write some to not show y’all:)