You, know the one where:
-Everyone wears a suit, or at least a tie
-You are trying to make “the big sale”
-You are trying to get “the big promotion”
-You have a clear boss, who has a secretary, drives a nicer car than you, and you need to impress him and his wife
-No one actually has any real connection to whatever product or service your company actually produces
-You have to travel on business from time to time and make presentations
-Status symbols like corner offices are sought after and important
No.
No.
No.
Yes, no, probably, not really.
Kinda.
It’s been known to happen.
No.
Whew, looks like I dodged.
I hope sombody answers this and then starts the “Ask the guy with the generic office job” thread.
It will be a good one.
Not I. I work in a lab, mixing together small drops of colorless liquids all day long.
Really good question.
I’ve seen this version on TV since childhood and I think on some level I kind of assumed everyone else’s job was like Darren Stevens from Bewitched.
I really hope someone answers yes to all the questions.
Sorry, not a good fit. I do wear a tie but only sales and consultants wear real suits (programmers only wear suits for interviews). It’s fairly Dilbert-esque her but we don’t actually have cubes. I drive a nicer car than my boss.
Google ads:
Sectretary Desk – fair enough.
Judo Uniforms – WTF?
-Everyone wears a suit, or at least a tie Nope. We can wear jeans and a T-shirt, just nothing overly revealing or offensive.
-You are trying to make “the big sale” We do sales, but not the type where you have to spend an extraordinary amount of time with one client and take him/her to dinner, out for a round of golf, etc.
-You are trying to get “the big promotion” I think this would apply in most jobs unless it’s a dreadful dead-end sort of job.
-You have a clear boss, who has a secretary, drives a nicer car than you, and you need to impress him and his wife I have a team lead, and I don’t even know or care who his wife is. Anyone above him, I have no idea where the hierarchy goes from there. I don’t know what my supervisor drives, nor do I really care.
-No one actually has any real connection to whatever product or service your company actually produces I’m not really clear on this one. We’re all familiar with what we sell, if that’s what you mean.
-You have to travel on business from time to time and make presentations Not in my position. Perhaps some of the higher-ups have to do this.
-Status symbols like corner offices are sought after and important There are no “corner offices” where I work. It’s nice to be near a window, though, which I am.
I’ve been working for a long time and I’m still disappointed that I’ve never had and probably never will have a job that includes a private office, let alone my own secretary. I feel completely let down. For heck’s sake, Darren Stevens was a junior ad executive and he had his own office with window, and another office for his own, private secretary!
When I was a kid my dad had his own office and secretary, and I remember probably in the early eighties they made changes at his workplace and he had to start sharing a secretary with one other person.
I don’t need my own secretary, but we sure could use more of them at work than we have. Some brilliant policy-maker decided that it would be more efficient for every individual to do everything self-service on their own computer, and boy, was he wrong.
The distinction I was trying to make is that often in movies/TV, there is a single “big promotion” that everyone is trying to get, resulting in much backstabbing, etc. And apparently there are never any small promotions. When I’ve gotten promotions, it wasn’t something I knew about and was striving for ahead of time, it wasn’t something that denied the same promotion to my coworkers, and it wasn’t an all-or-nothing deal.
The closest was when I worked at a brokerage. Everyone wore suit and ties, and were trying to make big sales to get promotions (you were named a vice president if you had enough sales). There were clear bosses, and since I worked with some at the top level, they had their own secretaries, but I impressed him by doing a good job, not inviting him to dinner. Since the product was stock, people had a connection to that, but not to the underlying company. And I did travel on business, but for educational purposes. And the bosses had corner offices on the top floor.
my job didn’t involve selling stock, so not all of it applied to me. But there were plenty of people who fit the image.
-Everyone wears a suit, or at least a tie
Nope, I wear dress pants or chinos or a skirt with a nice top or a simple sweater. I can’t wear jeans or t-shirts, but I can wear nice sandals. No flip-flops, though.
-You are trying to make "the big sale"
I don’t sell anything.
-You are trying to get "the big promotion"
Nope.
-You have a clear boss, who has a secretary, drives a nicer car than you, and you need to impress him and his wife
I have a clear boss, but she doesn’t really drive a nicer car than me (IMO), and there’s really no need to impress her.
-No one actually has any real connection to whatever product or service your company actually produces
I have a huge emotional connection to the service I provide. Today one of my ‘customers’ brought me a handful of daffodils and gave me a big hug and it made my day.
-You have to travel on business from time to time and make presentations
Traveling… Yes, in a matter of speaking. I get to go on trips a couple of times a year. We’ve been to the farm and the symphony twice. We went for a ride on the school bus. In a couple of weeks we’re going to see Jonah and The Whale put on by a local college drama club.
-Status symbols like corner offices are sought after and important
My room is a huge corner room with enormous windows on three sides. It’s painted bright sunny yellow and is decorated with many original works of art.
I love my job!
-Everyone wears a suit, or at least a tie
No. Heh. I wear a shirt with a collar most days, and I’m considered the stuffy one
-You are trying to make "the big sale"
Not really. We try support the sales guys, but we don’t make sales
-You are trying to get "the big promotion"
Dear lord, no. There’s only a couple of ways I could be promoted without becoming a boss. I wouldn’t make a good boss
-You have a clear boss, who has a secretary, drives a nicer car than you, and you need to impress him and his wife
Yes, no, yes, he’s unmarried, and I only have to impress him by being right if I confront someone
-No one actually has any real connection to whatever product or service your company actually produces
We do and we don’t. It’s really odd that way.
-You have to travel on business from time to time and make presentations
Travel, yes. Presentations, occasionally.
-Status symbols like corner offices are sought after and important
Not in the least.
- Yes
- Yes
- Yes
- Yes
- Hesitantly yes, but it depends how you define “real connection”
- Rarely Yes, but not usually very far
- Yes (Although not by Everyone)
I always wondered about the “big promotion” thing too. I am an IT business systems consultant and I have been doing it for 8 years. I have never gotten a “promotion” even though a make a whole lot more money now. I have no idea what I would be promoted to. I work for a consulting company and I have only spoken with them twice for less than 20 minutes total in 6 months. I have a project manager here that is kind of like a boss but I make a lot more money than he does. This is it. There is no promotion that would be suitable. I just work on bigger things as I get better skills.
Sucks to be you. My liquids are colored, and I get robots to do the actual mixing! 
Except all those smart, competant female secretaries no longer exist, because all the smart competant women who would have become those secretaries are now the bosses instead. The old system where hypercompetant secretaries actually ran the company was incredibly inefficient, why not just fire the bumbling male boss and give the secretary his job?
-Everyone wears a suit, or at least a tie Only one guy here, and he wears ties some days & not others. The rest of us wear appropriate business wear (suit, or slacks/skirt & nice blouse/sweater, sometimes with a jacket). Except on Fridays, when most of us wear khakis or colored (but not denim, not allowed) jeans & more casual tops & shoes.
-You are trying to make “the big sale” Not I - I’m Accounting; but the others are trying, yes.
-You are trying to get “the big promotion” The only way I can do that is if the Office Manager retires or dies, and I take her managerial duties along with my accounting duties. Otherwise, I’d have to become an owner.
**-You have a clear boss, who has a secretary, drives a nicer car than you, and you need to impress him and his wife ** Everyone’s my boss and drives a nicer car than me except the “secretary”. Yeah, I try to impress them and their husbands, but not in the “invite them to our house for dinner” kind of way. Just by doing a great job and being a positive & friendly employee.
**-No one actually has any real connection to whatever product or service your company actually produces ** No resemblance to anyone here whatsover.
-You have to travel on business from time to time and make presentations Nope - only one of the bosses travels, and that’s because he’s bicoastal. Presentations - ? Don’t think anyone does those.
-Status symbols like corner offices are sought after and important Only one corner office - the senior boss has it. Everyone else (me included) except the gal at the front reception has an office with a window. The only other status symbol here is paid parking versus a mass transit pass - yeah, I’d love that. It goes with the “big promotion.”
So - not across-the-board, but pretty dang close. Let’s see someone beat it!
So what’s your job, if you don’t mind me asking?
I’m a sales banker at a growing bank. So in addition to all of the above I also work 9 to 5.
-I wear a suit to work every damn day (actually it isn’t so bad)
-We fight amongst ourselves, and bend over backwards to please the big clients, and get a commision as well.
-My company promotes very heavily from within, so I work my butt off in I order to get bumped up to Sales Banker 2+, commercial banker, private banker, mortgage lender or branch manager. There isn’t really one general “Big Promotion” but there are more employees trying for promotions than there are postions, and all are usually qualified.
-I know exactly who my boss is, and who his boss is and so on up the line. The last community function I was at I spent most of the night making small talk with his wife to try and get on his good side.
-As far as having a connection to the product, its a toughie because everyones position has to support the company in some way. But all I do is sell, set up, and ass kiss.
-I don’t travel a whole lot, but I’ve gone more than 50 miles to meet with a client at his place of business to discuss accounts.
-I’ve been trying like hell to get the corner office with a big picture window since our last banker left… so far its not looking good.
Yeah… way more info than you asked for. Sorry for the ramblings
Well, ours have colors - they’re just outside the visible spectrum.