Does anyone know how to say "General Questions" in Dumbassian or Fuckwadese?

Maybe that weird taste in my mouth is just trollbait, but what the hell is going on in GQ? Someone wants relationship advice, and he posts in GQ? Sorry, Gilligan, but if Mary Ann’s as smart as she sounds, your sorry ass better figure out how to fuck coconuts. And Serlin? What’s the story? You honestly think us “buggers” merit discussion in GQ?

You know, more than my fair share of posts end up in MPSIMS. I freely admit this fact, because I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THE FORUMS ARE FOR! MPSIMS was created for a reason. Why, exactly, do you feel the need to pollute GQ with this stuff? Does MPSIMS just not appear on your screens? Have you never read GQ before?

“Bodie, I noticed you stopped stuttering.”
“I’ve been giving myself shock treatments.”
“Up the voltage.”
-Real Genius

I don’t know but here’s your post in Swedish Chef.

Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

A little pimp-speak to further cross language boundaries

Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

I’ll give ya a big word up to that sentiment, Flyp…

The occasional “sad korny” prepubsecent newbie will show up and whine about some gal.
It’s annoying but I guess it’s an occupational hazard of being on the net.

But Mark’s been around long enough to know better. I mean not only is his GQ post mundane and pointless, it has nothing to do with the topic he posted under. And the topic’s in ALL CAPS. It’s like a bizzare cross between Penthouse Forum and an assembly instruction manual from Ikea. The “scented douche” comment is a riot, though!

A huge “facial splooge” fan,

Guys… you aren’t helping. He specifically asked for help with Dumbassian or Fuckwadese.

I know a bit of Dumbassian, but it really isn’t a written language… I’ll give it a try anyway.

Ummm… my mouth tastes like those worms you dared me to eat before… what’s goin’ on in that other place where all those smart people ask questions? Ummm… there’s someone who wants to know something about his girlfriend and he’s asking in that place. Sorry buddy… you know, kinda like that guy on Gilligan’s Island (I can never remember his name), but if that one chick (not the movie star, the other one) is really smart you better figure out how to fuck those big brown things you find on islands. And Serlin? What’s your thing about? I really thought it was cool, but do you really think us nose things merit talking about in that place.

You know, lots of my things end up in that other place where they talk about other stuff. I know this because I know what these places are for I think. That other place was made on purpose. Why do you want to make the first place smelly with this stuff? Does that other place not show up on your little TV thing? Have you never had someone read you that first place before?

Someone else will have to help out with the Fuckwadese.

General Questions:

Dumbassian: 1. “Huh?” 2. “Huh Huh Huh Huh, you said ‘dumbass’”

Fuckwadese: Literal translation not really possible; Fuckwads tend to get loud and make stupid statements rather than ask questions. When forced to represent a statement in question form, a Fuckwad would most probably revert to primal sound patterns. Unfortunately, these patterns are so close to their normal mode so as to be indistinguishable from the rest of their speech.