Would anyone like to buy England? I’m thinking of a reasonable price…in fact name it! The price would mean the removal of this “Great” place and moving it somewhere closer the equator. The buyer may then do what he wishes to it. I suggest one large Holiday Camp…I’m sure it would catch on. Any other ideas welcome.
Please someone buy this fucking dump.
Cheques should be made payable to Cash.
you get the idea 
well, at the way successive governments have been selling off your state companies…
tell you what, If you moved England closer to the Equator, that would put you in the middle of Europe, and God forbid you would want that to happen 
Then again, If you were closer to the Equator, you would be further away from Ireland, and hence less of an incentive to have your stag parties here 
You’re right… middle of Europe isn’t too good…what about some where in the Atlantic…mmm
Listen…do…do.do you want to buy it? I’m doing a special on the Shetland Islands! :eek:
I’d much rather conquer it, myself. Seems to me that GB has gone far too long without foreign occupation. They’re getting a bit big for their britches, so to speak. I’m not talking total obliteration or anything, I’m thinkin’ a couple cruise missiles and some strong words oughta do the trick.
Note: The above statement is mostly a joke.
Listen SCRIMMY if you want to conquer it, fair enoguh, but could you tow it somewhere and use it for something. By the way…the Isle of Mann is quite a hot deal at the moment…do ya fancy it?
Geez, Naughty, we Yanks are doing our best to buy up lands, castles and titles, and now you want us to buy the whole fuckin’ thing?
Well, ok, we’ll work on it!
By the way, my dad’s really into golf- what about just Scotland?
Larger refrigerators and better insulation would be a start.
Sua
No thanks. Got one at home and actually don’t really use it much.
Um, you don’t really sound like a dealer I would trust much. The Shetland Islands aren’t in England and the Isle of Man is not even in the U.K. exactly (more of a British Crown Dependency, really.) Maybe you should start off slowly with a few Beefeaters or Morris Dancers or something.
Dear Lord! Not the Morris dancers, the dreaded Morris dancers!
I think we need to do something global about the Morris dancers!
What kind of warranty comes with it?
There is an absolute guaruntee that no matter what you do to try and improve the lot of Britons some group will form to oppose you.
The media will be guarunteed to portray you the new owner as a drug taking, playboy with a collection of B-grade celebrity female(and maybe even pretty men too) following your every word - wether it is true or not.
The new owner shouild be aware that they will also need to acquire permits and licenses to run the UK, preferably with a letter of recommendation from a few unsavoury foreign types such as Mohammed Al Fayed(a few American colonials wouldn’t go amiss either).
You will need to display a penchant for wearing white gloves and waving in a genteel manner to the ignorant masses who will gather and hang on to your every eloquent utterance in the pouring rain.
If you do find the product does not meet with your expectations then you are free to take the matter up with our Citizens Advice Bureau who will inform you the there is sod all you can do and ‘who are you going to sue this is not like America don’t you know’.
You will naturally be expected to set yourself up in a tax haven and avoid making any contribution to UK life all the while exerting your influence to undo things that 65million
folk have spent 10 centuries have spent trying to change things slightly for the better to make their pitiful existances bearable.
We expect nothing less from our great leaders.
Yeah, okay, casdave, but get to the important part: the beer comes with the deal, right?
Veb
P.S. Actually I’m suprised no male types have commented on your suprising (to us) fairly mainstream newspapers that blithely feature naked female bosoms in the midsections. Forget the infrastructure, economy, history stuff; you’re talking to entrepreneurial Amurkins here!
I’m not paying any more then a dollar, i dont care how much beer you throw in.
I think that we should invade Great Britain and enslave the populace for the following reasons: 1) that silly “Britons shall never be slaves” routine, and 2) getting double-timed by Prince William and the kid from Queer as Folk. Mmm!
I think that we should invade Great Britain and enslave the populace for the following reasons: 1) that silly “Britons shall never be slaves” routine, and 2) getting double-timed by Prince William and the kid from Queer as Folk. Mmm!
Oh, for heaven’s sake…
Matt, if you’re not careful it’s more likely to be the ultra-camp stereotype from “Gimme Gimme Gimme” and Uncle Monty from “Withnail and I”.
What’s this about the Isle of Man not being part of the UK? When did this happen? Why does no one tell me these things? How about the Channel Islands?
And Matt, that would be Charles Hunnam you’re referring to, right? I would like to point out that I’m probably the only straight person in the US to know that off the top of my head.
I’m not sure that any of them ever were, really. But I sympathise with the feeling of “why does no-one ever tell me things?” in general. So, then, the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands have their own interesting constitutions, being Crown Dependencies rather than actually being part of the U.K. as such. Short version=they can have different laws - for instance about taxes, and (in the case of the Isle of Man), about using the “birch” as corporal punishment for criminals, although I think they finally had to cease that practice. It is all very odd and interesting, but I did not mean to hijack a nice nonsense thread (tho’ why in the Pit, I don’t know) into a look at the constitutional arrangements of these places - I really didn’t, sorry. It was just because the OP who wanted to sell England seemed to be adding on extra places that are not in England, e.g. the Shetland Islands.
So, I’m not sure how much sense the above makes to you, but, unless we all want to study the constitutions of the IoM and THE Channel Islands, I must stop. Also, I want to get back to looking at the questions, and seeing whether the OP has already started to throw in somewhere like France as part of the deal!