It fails to satisfy because it ignores my point. We may assume things about the plastic liner on other grounds. But my point was that the properties of the aluminum imply nothing about whether we can ignore the liner, because the aluminium is not an alternative path for conduction, the heat must pass through both layers.
I think maybe you meant Rumsfeldian “known unknown.”
I think the answer to the OP’s question is right there in the link you provided:
Blockquote
The Cooper Cooler™ is the fastest way to rapidly chill your warm beverages from 77°F/25°C to refrigerator cold (43°F/6°C) in the below times:
Cans in 1 minute
Bottles in 3.5 minutes
Wine bottles in 6 minutes
Blockquote
(esperimenting with quotes here, maybe it gets a bit confusing. I am confused, at least.
No, the quoting did not go according to my plan. At all. 
The problem is it doesn’t list the volumes. You can probably assume it means a standard 12-ounce can, but bottles are more varied in volume, and come in glass and plastic.
Attention to detail has not been today’s strong suit for me. I’m pretty sure you’re correct here. Those two figures sort of blended into an incoherent mass in my memory.
PS: Thanks for finishing off the back-of-the-napkin. It’s only fair I should offer you some of these “research” materials.
Whatever the plastic layer on aluminum cans is, it would have to be some kind of magic material to offer as much thermal insulation as 2-3mm of glass.
I think what’s mostly been missing from this discussion (apologies if someone mentioned it before and I missed it) is the thermal mass of the glass. The reason it might seem like the glass cools better than the can is that they are both cooled to the same temperature (whatever the cooler can achieve) but the glass bottle seems colder because the glass has more thermal mass so it keeps the beer colder (and cools your hand longer) than the can does.
Thermal mass of the container is going to be almost irrelevant. The contents are mostly water, with a very high specific heat (and even the primary impurity, ethanol, still has a fairly high specific heat). Either container has both much less mass and much lower specific heat than the contents.
I think that there are two different things being discussed, the actual temperature of the refreshing beverage, and the perceived feel of the surrounding container. I suspect that iamthewalrus_3 and others are referring to the latter.
How long have you had your device? When they first came out, years (10?) ago, everyone I know got one and raved about them. A few months later they were complaining about the space they took up, the splashing, and the fact that they no longer worked.
Ok, the one I have is called Cooper Cooler, I don’t see a model number on it. I’ve had it a while and didn’t really use it. I only started using it often during quarantine, I order a lot of seltzer and beer to be delivered and can’t keep it all in the fridge.
A little googling shows that a beer bottle weighs about 7 oz (compared to 12oz of liquid) and glass has a specific heat about 0.8 J/g compared to water’s 4.5 J/g. I’m assuming that the aluminum really is negligible.
So heat capacity of a bottle of beer is about 10% higher than the beer alone. Assuming you take a good swig as soon as it comes out, that probably goes up to 15 or 20%. It’s not a ton, but it’s probably noticeable.
But, yeah, I’m mostly thinking that the feel of a cold bottle results in a perceived lower temp.
The Cooper Cooler site specifically says that cans cool 3x faster than bottles (1 vs 3 minutes) so you already have your answer.
A slight tangent… I read a book once about the U.S. Army Air Forces in North Africa during WWII. The CO of a squadron of B-24 bombers was able to score a shipment of beer for his men. North Africa is pretty hot, though, and they didn’t have any fridges, but then someone had the bright idea of loading one plane with all the beer and flying around at high altitude for half an hour or so. Then they landed and everyone enjoyed some ice-cold beer!
Yes. And I wouldn’t want a case of it, anyway - a six-pack would be enough.
[quote=“Elendil_s_Heir, post:34, topic:913468, full:true”]
A slight tangent… I read a book once about the U.S. Army Air Forces in North Africa during WWII. The CO of a squadron of B-24 bombers was able to score a shipment of beer for his men. North Africa is pretty hot, though, and they didn’t have any fridges, but then someone had the bright idea of loading one plane with all the beer and flying around at high altitude for half an hour or so. Then they landed and everyone enjoyed some ice-cold beer![/quote]
My dad flew B-24s in India. He said the enlisted men kept closed tabs on missions, noting time and altitude (which affected how cool the beer could get), and payload (which affected how much beer could be smuggled aboard). 
I don’t think this changes any answers but I’m reading the 24-Jan (yes, I’m behind) issue of Science (p 380) and apparently the membrane is 2 micron.