Well, if we can continue on this hijack a bit, I wonder about the risk. I mean, I understand what kind of awful things can happen is you get toxoplasmosis while pregnant. But how great a risk is it that you’ll be exposed?
When I got pregnant, I was a cat owner and gardener. I asked my doctor if I could be tested since I was pretty sure it would show I’d had it (and was therefore protected and could dispense with all the precautions). I figured I’d had it because of the level of potential exposure I’d had–not only have I always owned cats, but I worked for a vet for several years, including the cat care for all the cats he boarded. Furthermore, the vet also maintained the pound facility for the city, so I also took care of all the strays that came in. It was a LOT of cat exposure. Hundreds of cats, lots of catshit, from all kinds of cats who had all kinds of diets and many of whom had spent some amount of time outside. I figured toxoplasmosis exposure was a no-brainer.
The test? Negative. I wonder how much of an anamoly I am.
While I will not condemn any woman for a thoughtful decision, there is no way that I could ever have given a baby up for adoption. I am not talking about the pain of separation (life is pain; we survive); I just cannot understand making so momentous a decision as to create a human and giving the responsibility to someone else.
I couldn’t do it; fortunately, a lot of women are not like me.
[I think I could have surrogated, but I never had the opportunity.]
Tell me about it. My son had a developmental disorder and my SIL’s baby was born with a very rare, almost-aways-fatal x-chromosome deficiency (OTC), spent his first four months of life in a NICU, and had a liver transplant at 3 months. His hospital bill, in case you’re curious- over $6 million so far.
Very clean pregnancies, for both of us. Go figure.
I could not do this either. I just couldn’t. Kudos to those women who can and those lucky enough to benefit. I am pro-choice; I was throughout all my pregnancies, even the one I aborted. I became quite depressed afterwards, but knew I had done the right thing. As a good friend said: better to be a good mother to 3 kids than a bad mother to 4.
If a pregnant woman doesn’t want to be a mother, the anti-abortion group can only force her to release the child for adoption. They praise all adoptive parents as noble people and refuse to acknowledge that some adoptions end up really bad.
It’s nice to know there is another choice for women in those circumstances.
Thanks,** WhyNot**. I can stand to give up beer for 9 months, but giving up my home-grown tomatoes would be a real wrench.
To get back on track. My brother’s ex-girlfriend had two unintended pregnancies. The first time, she gave the baby up for adoption, but the second time, she had an abortion. Even though the adoption went very well–she selected the family, and there were never bad vibes between them–she said she couldn’t go through giving up another baby.
I’m very pro-choice and always have been, but my motivations changed somewhat over the course of two pregnancies. Before ever being pregnant, I gave very little thought to the embryo/fetus. Now I’m much more emotional about it. But, I also know how truly difficult pregnancy is. Both of my pregnancies were very much intentional, but the only thing that got me through them was how very much I wanted to have a baby at the end of it. I can’t imagine ever asking someone to go through with a pregnancy if she wasn’t fully committed to the idea.
I have remained pro-choice through a planned pregnancy and birth of a healthy child as well as a miscarriage and subsequent infertility. What does my situation have to do with anyone else’s right to choose?
I have 5 kids, my youngest is 4. If I was to get pregnant now, it would be disastrous. I am the breadwinner, and me being out of commission for 18 months with pregnant and breastfeeding and infancy would screw everything up.
That being said, there is absolutely no way I’d get an abortion. How can you look at your existing kids and go “which one?”
::calls up husband and bitches to him about getting a vasectomy::
Wow…5 kids, that is so cool. I have a friend who just had #4, which is such a nice big family these days.
Anyway, thought I’d come back to flesh out my previous answer. As I’ve explained elsewhere on this board, I am pro-life philosophically, and prefer to use that label as a way of identifying my opinion on the subject. However, I think politically it’s a much different thing. Essentially, any “pro-life” work I do is in the area of 1) trying to help women who want to keep their babies and aren’t in a good circumstance to do so, 2) supporting adoption services, and 3) simply trying to convince others to do the same. In terms of trying to “force” women to have babies instead of abortions, that’s not my thing. I don’t think it’s good for anyone or for society.
On a personal level, my opinion on the matter hasn’t changed…I have always known that I could never get an abortion.
You don’t have to believe that abortion is right for you to be pro-choice. It irks me to no end that the pro-life lobby always makes it into a black and white issue - it’s not Yes or No. There’s a whole lotta grey in the middle.
You can know in your heart of hearts that you could never have an abortion yourself, and still be able to say you’re pro-choice. The point of being pro-choice is that you are free to decide what’s right for you as a person, with the understanding that everyone else is free to choose what’s right for them, even if it’s a different choice from the one you’ve made for yourself. That’s it. That’s all.
I will never ever judge a woman for her decision, whether it’s keeping the baby, giving it up for adoption, or terminating the pregnancy. I’m thankful that I could decide what was right for me, and I want the same options to be available to anyone who finds themselves in the same situation.