Hasn’t changed my mind. I completely understand the women who have kids and decide to abort later pregnancies. I couldn’t cope now with a baby, especially understanding the impact they have.
The best thing I heard when I was pregnant was : “You’ll be living with it for the rest of your life, whatever choice you make.”
I chose to keep my baby. At a different time, I may have made (or make) a different choice.
I’ve always been pro-choice. The first time I was pregnant, I scheduled an abortion, then had a miscarriage before the appointment. I felt little regret, and just moved on with my life. I didn’t want a baby then, and it worked out for the best, cold as that may sound.
Now, after having three kids, I wouldn’t have an abortion myself (but I’ve had my tubes tied, so very unlikely that I would get pregnant again). I’m still as pro-choice as ever, and I’ve made my choices.
Same here. I had my son when I was ready to have my son.
Missouri I believe is making it really difficult right now for women to get abortions, but I forget the details. It made me think about how I would react if forced to carry an unwanted baby. I’ll spare you the gruesome details.
I would f** that kid up so bad it wouldn’t have snowball’s chance in h*** of ever having a decent life.*
Just a friendly reminder that no, you can’t force someone to love on command, but you sure can encourage some hatin’. I would definitely make society regret that law in spades. And then how is society going to deal with people like me? Lock us up for nine months in chains? Jail for a few years afterwards for something that was against my will in the first place?
The forced-pregnancy crowd hasn’t thought their cunning plan all the way through…
My first response in my head was “wtf?! and abortion is the only alternative to not having a child?” But then I took a deep breath.
I admit that I am completely PRO-Adoption. I dont like the idea of abortion as birth control and before ANYONE gets on their high horse and condemn me for saying that, don’t be so quick to judge me. I got pregnant when I was 17 & had the baby a few months after graduation. Sure, I was stupid for not being on the pill and having too much faith in condoms. But I knew I wouldnt be able to live with myself knowing what an abortion entails in gut wrenching detail. Yes, I was raised a Catholic and they subjected us to literature and videos of ultrasounds of performed abortions.
It is not my place to judge anyone for their choice and I dont support anyone who does no matter what they decide - but I do mourn over the lost lives (or, potential lives for you hardcores) for there are several good people in this world who cannot have babies of their own and cannot afford surrogates or other expensive alternatives.
No, I did not give up my rights as a parent when I had my 3 children. I weighed all options and it was a hard decision. The other two were pregnancies from non-effective birth control pills. And yesssss, I took them as directed & on time. I have a cousin who was the same way, incase you doubt me - and an aunt… extremely fertile genes?
Anyways… If someone is not ready to have a kid, Pro Adoption is my hope for an alternative to abortion.
My MiL told me the story of how she became pro-choice. She was pregnant with her fifth child, living at her sister’s house, working two jobs to keep the older kids in parochial school and the younger kids in daycare. My FiL was in and out of the picture (he cleaned himself up when the first grandkid arrived, fortunately), and she was concerned about adding another child to the four she could barely take care of in such a precarious living situation. She sat in the abortion clinic but changed her mind and left before her appointment. She said she understands what the “choice” part means now.
I don’t think I could do it, I am not strong enough to continue to go to work everyday and see coworkers and friends and family members and have them ask “when is the baby due?” and pat my tummy and be happy for me and I have to admit to getting knocked up, can’t afford, don’t want a baby and I’m giving it away. And the pain of giving the baby away. And have to go on with life, living with all the people that know it. Not to mention the trauma to the body, the (remote) possibility of death during pregnancy/delivery.
Sorry, but no. I couldn’t do it, I’m not that brave.
I’m an adoptive parent, so I’m absolutely pro-Adoption…but I think adoption is one of three choices, and it isn’t a choice I can force on anyone. Making an adoption choice is TOUGH and it isn’t a panacea for either the adoptee, the birthparents or the adoptive parents. Moreover, pregnancy can be tough.
My BFF had a baby for a couple that was unable to conceive on their own. She found out she was pregnant, and then selected the couple. She told everyone during her pregnancy that she was excited for this couple and she explained to others that, basically, she was the incubator for the baby. If people talked about it behind her back she would confront them & wouldnt back down. When people would ask her how she could give her baby away - she would tell them it wasnt her baby alone, she merely had a small part… like a babysitter (well, her exact terminology was “babyhatcher”).
People grew to respect her, if they didnt already. She’s highly intelligent & creative with a strong personality and rarely came across someone who didnt like her. And she made people think - Why should she be made to feel guilty for creating life for someone else to enjoy just because she cant hide it for several months?
I’m not so sure that being brave has much to do with it, but more of a state of mind. You see, she told herself from the get-go that the child was someone else’s.
Nope. I am still 100% pro-choice, even after two kids, the ultrasounds, the heartbeats, the kicks.
Keep your laws (and moral judgments) off my body, please. Thanks so much!
Congrats for your friend, she made a great decision for herself. I would not choose to have a baby and give it up for adoption, it is not an option for me.
Being pregnant and having a baby did not have any impact on my feelings about abortion - I was and remain strongly pro-choice.
It’s an extreme view, it isn’t a comfortable thought (It’s been bugging me most of the afternoon) - but it’s sadly true in far too many cases.
I got to choose.
That has to be better than thinking of my kid as the inevitable consequence for an action the father had already run away from. Or someone that may turn up one day to demand explanations (or maybe worse, not show up or care). Like Glory, adoption was not an option for me.
But the OP wasn’t asking for alternatives to abortion, he was asking if having a child altered our opinion on abortion.
I was pro-choice before I got pregnant.
My daughter wasn’t a punishment or a threat. I wanted her. I *know *that because I had the choice.
And even if such a woman places the child for adoption, she is unlikely to do what is necessary for a healthy preganancy. Why give up smoking? Why give up drinking? Why watch your medications, get enough rest, eat balanced meals? Even someone living a relatively clean life makes changes (no caffiene, no meat not cooked to at least medium, don’t clean the catbox or garden) when pregnant for the best chance for a healthy baby.
Birthmothers are amazing people. They are willing to make major sacrifices in their lives for little reward and a lot of pain. Its a heroism we can’t ask for from everyone.
When we went through our adoption process I discovered how picky some adoptive parents can be. People were turning down children less than six pounds or born at 37 weeks. They’d rather have no baby at all than one whose mother had a few beers during her pregancy.
So would I. i would assume that if she admitted to “a few beers” that she had actually had quite a few. My SIL did her doctoral work on fetal alcohol syndrome and it was tough stuff.
But because a birthmother says she didn’t drink at all doesn’t mean she didn’t drink. If you are going to adopt, you have to take some things on faith. The nice thing about adoption in this country however is that women supposedly have a choice - and having that choice gives adoptive parents a better shot at getting a woman who cared about her pregnancy. Plus, drinking, even excessive drinking, during pregnancy is no guarantee of FAS - and a clean pregnancy is no guarantee of a healthy baby.
Exactly. Adopting is not meant to be a comparable experience to shopping. *All * kids come with the potential for all sorts of problems.
Sorry to high-jack, but if I get pregnant, I have to give up gardening? Dammit! No cigs, no booze, no raw meat, I get, but no gardening?!
No. Not in my case. Having a planned, wanted pregnancy I was happy about, with a healthy, viable fetus, resulting in a child I absolutely treasure, was a total blessing. However, it hasn’t altered my feelings about abortion–neither the possibility that I would seek one under certain circumstances, nor my desire for women to have a choice about continuing a pregnancy. I was pro-choice before I became a mom, and am pro-choice now.
Nah, you just have to wear gloves and not eat dirt.